Working the Kenny Powers Way
Do you know Kenny Powers? You should. Not only is Kenny Powers a formidable force of athletic power, an icon of style, a powerful CEO of a major shoe company and a connoisseur of awesome haircuts, he’s a role model. Is this sarcastic? As Kenny might say “f*ck no.” Only that asterisk wouldn’t be there. It’d be a u. He’d say the f word. He says it a lot. Like a f*cking role model.
By:Ian Fortey|February 27, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Kim Jong Il on the Red Carpet
The only semi-watchable moment of the Oscars happened before the show, when Sacha Baron Cohen was kind enough to mildly prank Ryan Seacrest.
By:Ian Fortey|February 27, 2012
Zoology
The thing you need to remember about Zoology is that goats will bite.
By:Ian Fortey|February 26, 2012
Sunday Comics
Sunday is the day that Jesus put aside to read comics.
By:Ian Fortey|February 26, 2012
Holy Taco Draws the News: The Oscars
Tomorrow are the Academy Awards. Please take today to work with friends and family to build up the ability to give a damn.
By:Ian Fortey|February 25, 2012
Five Potential Premises for JK Rowling’s New Book
JK Rowling has officially taken a leap into writing for grown-ups. I guess no more wizards and what not. Luckily, she's been freed up by the success of the Potter franchise, so that she can focus on more personal projects. She's got all the time and money she needs, and I'm sure this last project was written from a room the size of a house, on a MacBook made of gold. She's decided not to divulge any information as to what the book will be about. She hasn't even given fans a release date. While we sit and patiently wait for the movie about the book to come out (we hate reading books), we've been speculating on what the premise could be. Using a mix of Rowling's history and current book trends, we've come up with a few possibilities:
By:Jim Tews|February 24, 2012
Holy Taco Does Vegas
(We sent our boy Ian Cheesman to Las Vegas thanks to the help of the good people at Harley Davidson to experience everything the city has to offer. This is what he came back with. There's butts in walls and a lion.)
By:Ian Fortey|February 24, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Meaning of Robots (NSFW)
This guy reminds me of my dad.
By:Ian Fortey|February 24, 2012
Pictures That Desperately Need Captions
Have you ever seen a picture that you felt desperately needed a caption? Well, Regretful Morning is giving you your chance. They've got a gallery of 11 pictures so strange the captions practically write themselves.
By:Luis Prada|February 23, 2012
The Future Of Bathroom Technology
We're all slightly above pooping in holes at this point. We have to assume that if you're here, reading this and using the internet, you, at the very least, own a real toilet. If you don't, please stop reading this (after clicking on several ads from our sponsors) then go do something to improve your living situation. For those of us who are already riding the porcelain, we're looking for an upgrade. Here's a few options for your consideration:
By:Jim Tews|February 23, 2012
GIF Attack!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOO-LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT!!!
By:Luis Prada|February 23, 2012
My Reaction To The New Paris Hilton Song, Or Things I Groan When I Have Diarrhea?
Paris Hilton has released a new song. Or rather, Manufactured Superstars, an electronic music duo out of Denver, made a backing track and they got Paris Hilton to lend her voice and to provide lyrics. The track is awful, which is why we’re going to play a little game today that I like to call…My Reaction To The New Paris Hilton Song, Or Things I Groan When I Have Diarrhea?
By:Luis Prada|February 23, 2012
25 Of History’s Greatest Warriors
You may have thought the Girl Scouts were the baddest organization of thugs around, but history shows us differently. Never challenge any of these guys to a slap fight.
By:Ian Fortey|February 23, 2012
9 Completely Ridiculous Twitter Bots
Half of everyone on Twitter is a fake entity (and probably follows Newt Gingrich). Of those fake people, a small portion are bots who will hilariously talk to you when you say some random thing. Let's check out some of the best one.
By:Ian Fortey|February 23, 2012
The Morning Jolt: The BBC is Awesome
I just really want to go to Scotland now.
By:Ian Fortey|February 23, 2012
Top Ten Lent Sacrifices & Why We Won’t Give Them Up
So today officially begins Lent, which is one of those Catholic things that most other people don't care about. Every culture has some sort of fast/do without period. Lent just happens to be the most commonly observed one here in the U.S. You can give up whatever you want for lent, the idea being that whatever you're giving up was making you a more awful person, and that giving it up for forty days will somehow make you a better person. Sure, why not?
By:Jim Tews|February 22, 2012
Rick Santorum, Let’s Talk About This Picture
Hello, Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum From what I’ve been reading of late, you’re one of those strict anti-gay guys. That’s fine. You have the right to be dumb, just as you have the right to be a guy that we will look back on in 50 years and mock for being a bigoted simpleton after your views on human sexuality are crushed under the foot of public opinion and ever-evolving interpretations of love. Being as anti-gay as you are, you have to understand that taking a picture like this can’t possibly help your cause.
By:Luis Prada|February 22, 2012
GIF Attack!
[Clears Throat] AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!-Ah!-Ah!-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
By:Luis Prada|February 22, 2012
25 Reasons to Read Bulletin Boards
The bulletin board in our office is just covered in reminders that we need to wear pants. But anyway, here's 25 more interesting bulletins.
By:Ian Fortey|February 22, 2012
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