Sequelectric! Crafting 8 Perfect Sequels
According to Box Office Mojo, the top 9 movies of 2011 were all sequels. This clearly indicates that all people want to see is a story they already saw once, but in a slightly different way. It takes too much time to invest in new characters, who needs that? Show me Tom Cruise missioning in an impossible way again, that’s what we need. Apparently. Knowing this, we may as well start working on some older films that are in need of the sequel treatment to see if we can’t drum up that sweet sequel cash. So sweet.
By:Ian Fortey|January 19, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Almond Fire
If I ever end up squatting on an almond farm, I am totally going to cook so many tiny portions of Ramen noodles.
By:Ian Fortey|January 19, 2012
The Funniest Article Ever Posted In The History of Holy Taco
…would be censored, almost certainly removed, and would possibly cause Holy Taco to be deleted from the internet in a SOPA world because it contained a link to another page on the internet, that contained a funny video from Break or Youtube that itself contained a muffled, degraded, barely audible clip of a popular pop song as lip-dubbed by a cross-dresser from Montana that used a dildo as a microphone for added comedic effect. This, in the eyes of a major media company, is copyright infringement. Absurd? Ridiculous? F*cking stupid? Yep, yep, and mega-yep. That’s SOPA.
By:Luis Prada|January 18, 2012
GIF Attack!: SOPA Edition
Hey, do you like GIFs? Do you especially like GIFs that are made up of 3 to 5 second loops of movies and TV shows? Well, in a SOPA/PIPA world, you can kiss GIFs goodbye. GIFs would be considered a major violation of copyright infringement. Yep, you could have your website nuked by a corporation via the United States Government because of a 5 second endless loop of Chuck Norris doing some weird shit from a movie no one ever saw, at least not in a non-ironic way. SOPA, please die.
By:Luis Prada|January 18, 2012
25 Post SOPA LOLCats
In the world of SOPA, this is what you'd find on the internet. We can't post pics we found on other sites, we'd have to make our own terrible ones. Well, half awesome but half terrible. This! It's not even actually 25, it's like 26 or something! Nothing is what it seems!
By:Ian Fortey|January 18, 2012
In Defense of Sopa
What’s all this fuss I’ve been hearing lately about sopa? I find it so strange how something as innocuous as sopa can get so many people on the internet so riled up. It’s harmless! It’s nothing but fantastic! It seems every website I go to has some kind of anti-sopa message on it asking people to sign petitions; I’m assuming to ensure that sopa never sees the light of day.
By:Luis Prada|January 18, 2012
The SOPA Article
Click the link if you want to do something about it.
By:Ian Fortey|January 18, 2012
The Word Of The Moment: Literally
The word of the moment is literally, as in, “Dave literally killed that old lady.”
By:Luis Prada|January 17, 2012
Five Ridiculous Fast Food Promotions
The obesity epidemic in the U.S. doesn't seem like it's going to get any better any time soon. Part of that is probably because bad food keeps getting more delicious, and the other part is because it's getting cheaper. Just in time for Burger King to announce home-delivery in a few select places (probably wherever the most number of jazzy scooters and reach extenders are sold.) We all try to deny our excessive Wendy's cravings and avoid our urges to hit the Taco Bell drive through that's open all night. It just gets really difficult. Particularly when fast food establishments keep stepping their game up to compete with one another. They're always giving away free crap, stepping up their service, or putting Fritos on Doritos on tacos. The devil knows what you want, and he's offering it for pocket change. All you have to give him in return is your unhealthy innards...
By:Jim Tews|January 17, 2012
25 Rodents of Unusual Size
Not that many people love rats of a normal size but man, you can really find some big ones out there. Also fat mice. Fat, fatty fat mice. And squirrels. And so on.
By:Ian Fortey|January 17, 2012
Your Dentist Hates You: 5 Passive Aggressive Dental Weapons
The dentist is one of the most reviled people in the world – 80% of that revulsion is irrational. The other 20% is fully deserved because, as much as you may hate the dentist, he seems to hate you back. He hides it, behind his little mask and big light and pointy tools but man, that dude is just disgusted with you. Just take a look at all the subtle ways he tries to make your day worse.
By:Ian Fortey|January 17, 2012
Ostriches Want To Have Sex With Us
Have you ever stared deeply in to the eyes of an ostrich and felt as though you were being held in the arms of a tender lover? Wait…did you just say yes? Hey, everybody reading this: let’s all point and laugh at the one guy that actually said yes! HA! While the thought of a human falling in love with an Ostrich seems weird to us, the reverse is a common phenomenon recently noticed by ostrich farmers at Hangland Farms in the U.K.
By:Luis Prada|January 16, 2012
CES 2012 Introduces New Fapping Technology
This year's Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas introduced the world to a whole new batch of innovative, life-changing products that you will just eventually use to watch or make porn with. The items that topped the list are still unavailable, and even when they become available they'll be well out of the average consumer's price range, but shortly after they hit the shelves, people will be using them to get off.
By:Jim Tews|January 16, 2012
25 Pics of Nature Blowing Your Mind
Nature isn't all ugly bunnies and foot fungus - sometimes it really puts on a wicked show.
By:Ian Fortey|January 16, 2012
Ink Master’s Chris Nunez Talks 9 Tattoo Clichés
Recently, we spoke with Chris Nunez from Miami Ink and judge on Spike TV’s new reality show Ink Master about some of our favorite tattoo clichés. Chris, being a lifelong tattoo enthusiast and artist himself, has an appreciation for all tattoos and assured us from the get go that no matter what we had on our list, it’d be something that pays his bills that he’s happy to do or any and all customers. He’s a good guy and didn’t even insult the matching Hello Kitty tattoos all of our editors have.
By:Ian Fortey|January 16, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Danish Butt Game
This is how you entertain Europeans. Nice.
By:Ian Fortey|January 16, 2012
25 Things Lana del Rey Sounds Like
If you missed SNL last night, count yourself lucky. Harry Potter hosted and for the most part he did a decent job and there were some funny skits but by far the most memorable skit of the night was musical guest Lana Del Rey performing her song Video Games. It was one of the most awful things ever on network television. This is not an opinion, this is fact. Those who defend del Rey's performance probably also supported Herman Cain. Listen and see;
By:Ian Fortey|January 15, 2012
In Defense Of Sopa
What’s all this fuss I’ve been hearing lately about sopa? I find it so strange how something as innocuous as sopa can get so many people on the internet so riled up. It’s harmless! It’s nothing but fantastic! It seems every website I go to has some kind of anti-sopa message on it asking people to sign petitions; I’m assuming to ensure that sopa never sees the light of day.
By:Luis Prada|January 15, 2012
Daily Links
Best of Taco
Holy links
Popular Tacos
- Dibs On The Cute One
- 10 Items You Think Make You Cool, But Don't
- The 10 Most Worthless College Majors
- photo
- So This Is Why Ronald McDonald Is Always Smiling
- 25 Chicks with Mustaches
- The 12 Greatest Lines From Justin Bieber's Lawsuit Deposition
- Overheard at Thanksgiving
- Rick Majerus And Two Assholes. Springfield Sports Hall Of Fame. Crown Plaza Hotel. April 7, 2009.
- How?
