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8 Super Fun Serial Killer Songs

Serial killing has become all the rage since Anthony Hopkins made it irascibly charming in the 1990s and true crime drama allowed every pseudo slug who enjoys a James Patterson book to sit at home and be an amateur “profiler” no matter how inaccurate their perception of real serial killer behavior is.

By:|January 26, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Busta Bowel Movement

For real lady, don't be such a tool.

By:|January 26, 2012


This Dude Had Sex with an Alien

Our friends at Regretful Morning posted this tale of a man who says he did an alien, and then passed a lie detector. This is probably all very genuine. But also, what a perv.

By:|January 25, 2012


11 Bizarre Pieces of Obama Fan Art

Our friends over at the Huffington Post put together this galley of pics that include the above Obama on a Mastodon, which would guarantee his reelection. Check out the full gallery

By:|January 25, 2012


Don’t Heckle the Cops from Prison

Let this serve as a lesson, if you're trying to appear remorseful, prank phone calls won't get you very far. Check out the story over at TruTV, it's worth the drive to Acton!

By:|January 25, 2012


American Douchebaggery Knows No Boundaries

I'm really, really proud of America right now. Not because we're in the midst of an intense election year that will force our political leaders to step up to the plate, earn their votes and fix the mess that's been made, but because we've exposed the ideal American douchebag to other countries, and they're really latching on to it.

By:|January 25, 2012


Holy Taco’s State of the Union Rebuttal

The picture President Obama painted in his State of the Union address is a rosy one, filled with flowery language and proper “sentence structure”, all about how America is slowly but surely climbing its way out of the economic gutter and back to prominence. While I certainly share his view for the most part, I think we have a much longer ways to go before we declare victory over these troubling times we’ve lived in.

By:|January 25, 2012


GIF Attack!

No, I don't know what this is either, but I do know that it is simultaneously disturbing and the best thing I've see all month. Dance, little girl. Dance like you won't regret being filmed dancing like that in 20 year's time.

By:|January 25, 2012


25 Raunchy Foods

Everyone says you can use chocolate or oysters as an aphrodisiac, but probably if you bust out weiner-shaped candy or the rest of this stuff, you'll get the message across ever more clearly.

By:|January 25, 2012


The Next Big Twilight

If you haven’t heard of Warm Bodies, get ready to be horrified. It’s being touted as Twilight with Zombies and is essentially exactly what that implies – a tween’s level understanding of love as told by a girl and the zombie who fell in love with her.

By:|January 25, 2012


The Morning Jolt: WTF News

Well, he's asking a reasonable question.

By:|January 25, 2012


Why We Can’t Sneeze With Our Eyes Open

As the myth goes, if you sneeze with your eyes open your eyes will pop out of your head. This is has long since been disproven, but it doesn’t change the fact that our eyes do indeed close when we sneeze. You can force them open with your fingers or keep them nice and wide with sheer force of will, no hand required, but our natural inclination is to seal them shut when a sneeze comes hurling out of our heads. For so long I never wondered why we close our eyes when we sneeze…but then I saw a video of Youtube user Jaadalade sneezeing twice with her eyes open and I realized why we unconsciously close our eyes. It’s not out of some fear of our eyes rocketing out of our skulls, it’s a subconscious need to not look like we’re attempting a sudden and deadly attack upon those around us.

By:|January 24, 2012


7 Videos Of Rednecks And Guns

Hey y'all, we decided to get American on your ass today, for no particular reason. You're allowed to do that in an election year. In fact, you're supposed to get as American as you possibly can, at every opportunity during an election year. A little talked about issue this year is gun control. It's one of those things we tend to focus on more when our economy isn't in the toilet. Even when gun control is a hot-button issue, it's only an issue to a section of America. Mostly the middle section, and Ted Nugent fans. Rednecks love guns, is what we're trying to say here. If for some reason you choose not to believe that, then I suggest you watch these videos...

By:|January 24, 2012


GIF Attack!

Man, this site redesign is really messing with my ability to add quips to GIF Attacks. How can I quip if the first GIF is below this sentence and not above it?! It can't be done! It's impossible! F*ck this! I'm outta here! Here's your f*cking GIFS!

By:|January 24, 2012


25 Battlestar Galactica Tattoos

We've covered Star Trek and Star Was tattoos in the past, even some Lord of the Rings, but just how deep does the nerd hole go when it comes to body mods? Right here, kids. Right frackin' here.

By:|January 24, 2012


How to End the Simpsons

So, you’ve decided to end the longest running, funniest show in the history of television that has, according to many, suffered a severe slide in quality over the past few (dozen) years. Good for you! But you can’t end a television icon on a whim, you need to put some effort into making this memorable. Technically you could not make a big deal out of it and end it on what we might call “The Whisper” but that would be lame and awful, and we will not stand for that. Do not do that. However, deciding how to end it will take some thought. Let’s peruse some options!

By:|January 24, 2012

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The Morning Jolt: Holy Taco Driving Academy

We were in a hurry. It happens.

By:|January 24, 2012


There Is A Village In China Named Dog Sh*t

Your chance to visit one of the most poorly named villages in the world will soon some to an end! Act now! Be one of the last people to visit Dog Shit Village in China’s Guizhou province before it is renamed!

By:|January 23, 2012


13 People Who Think Joe ‘Paternal’ Died

The recent passing of Penn State's legendary coach, Joe Paterno, has a lot of people truly upset. Some are so upset, in fact, that they kept screwing up his last name. You can blame it on autocorrect, or maybe it's hard to type accurately through the tears. Either way, we think it's kind of funny.

By:|January 23, 2012

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25 Celebrities as Furries

Fan art is a weird thing sometimes, makes you want to give your favorite celebrity a horse's ass. But hey, some folks are into that. We're pretty sure some of these pics came from DeviantArt, so you should check out the kids over there who put together some awesome work.

By:|January 23, 2012