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50-Words-Women-Really-Hate

50 Words Women Really Hate

 There have been a few lame attempts to come up with lists of words that women hate. Most of them come to the conclusion that words like "moist" and "panties" are the words women hate the most. Well, something tells me that those women weren't really considering all the words in the English language. So the Holy Taco research staff hit the streets and the malls armed with a list of 500 words that went a little farther and asked hundreds of women to tell us what words they really hated. Then we took the top 50 and put them in order. Here they are: 50. Pubes 49. Leakage 48. Taint 47. Squirt 46. Fupa 45. Whore 44. Discharge 43. Camel Toe* 42. Feedbags 41. Mammoth 40. Pussy

By:|March 24, 2008


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A Moment Of Silence For Colonel Sanders

The next time you stop by your local KFC for a heaping helping of deep fried chicken parts, you will also have the choice of getting your bird a bit healthier. According to CBC.ca: Kentucky Fried Chicken customers will be greeted eventually by lighted "Now Grilling" signs, starting in coming weeks in select U.S. cities. Storefront signs will be altered to promote the new product , called Kentucky Grilled Chicken. Even the brand's ubiquitous chicken buckets will get a makeover, though they will still feature the iconic founder Sanders. KFC says the grilled chicken has significantly fewer calories and fat, plus much less sodium, than its original recipe fried chicken. "If they can get people over the hump , which is 'Do I believe KFC can sell me a healthy alternative?' , they'll increase their [customer] frequency," Miller said. "I don't see too much risk in trying it." Screw this. If I'm going to go to KFC...or KGC or whatever the hell they're going to call it, I'm clearly not worried about my arteries or my blood pressure or my life expectancy. I want to cram massive amounts of battered chicken, buttery biscuits and a pile of sketchy chemicals billed as "mashed potatoes" into my mouth until I can't breathe. This is like going to McDonald's and having a salad or using a condom when masturbating. Totally pointless.

By:|March 24, 2008


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Man’s House Looted After Fake Craigslist Ad

In what could be the most amazing prank ever, a fake ad was posted on Craigslist that said an Oregon man had to suddenly move so all of his possessions were up for grabs. The kicker? He wasn't moving. According to the Seattle Times: A pair of hoax ads on Craigslist cost an Oregon man much of what he owned. The ads popped up Saturday afternoon, saying the owner of a Jacksonville home was forced to leave the area suddenly and his belongings, including a horse, were free for the taking. But Robert Salisbury had no plans to leave. The independent contractor was at Emigrant Lake when he got a call from a woman who had stopped by his house to claim his horse. On his way home he stopped a truck loaded down with his work ladders, lawn mower and weed eater. "I informed them I was the owner, but they refused to give the stuff back," Salisbury said. "They showed me the Craigslist printout and told me they had the right to do what they did." Once home he was greeted by close to 30 people rummaging through his barn and front porch. The trespassers, armed with printouts of the ad, tried to brush him off. "They honestly thought that because it appeared on the Internet it was true," Salisbury said. "It boggles the mind." This story gave me an idea to put a hoax Craigslist ad up about myself. It's going to say, "Area Man must rid himself of all of his semen. All of it must go! Right now! Come and get it! It's free! (No fatties...OK, some fatties.)" Courtesy of Boing Boing

By:|March 24, 2008


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Taco Belle: Doutzen Kroes

Age: 23 Where you've seen her: Doutzen Kroes only lives in your dreams, my friend. Well, dreams and a bunch of Victoria's Secret specials. Tantalizing tidbit: In a 2006 interview, Doutzen said that she has a romantic preference for black men. Which means I'll be spending the rest of my week at the tanning bed and watching "Soul Man" over and over and over again.

By:|March 24, 2008


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Link Time

Claudia Schiffer estoy sexo! (Camel Tap) Man claims to be pregnant! (Asylum) Have you told your roommate you banged his girlfriend?! (doubleviking) 7P.M. Suicide Girl keiko! (coedmagazine) Victoria's Secret All-Stars hit the beach! (complex) Thundercats Bloopers! (unibrow) Misa Campo Megapost! (hornyoyster) Exclamation point!

By:|March 24, 2008


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David Beckham Talks Soccer Sorta

david beckham has a great accent - Watch more free videos David Beckham was on 60 minutes last week promoting the start of the MLS soccer season. For me, watching American soccer falls somewhere in between "watching a WNBA game," and "punching myself in the face." But I think you'll find this interview interesting. I doctored it just a little bit. Only just a little, I swear. I await British backlash. Bring it.

By:|March 24, 2008


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Bro Search

Bro Search Part II - Watch more free videos Dax Shephard is here to tell you that if you're looking for a best friend, he's got a service for you. This is why I don't go in pools.

By:|March 24, 2008


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Kate Beckinsale Is Better Red Than Dead

I have one of those "things" for Kate Beckinsale. It's very similar to the "things" I have for orgasms, beer and female genitalia (which, if you remember, Kate also has a "thing" for.) These red dress photos might give you one of those "things" too. Or maybe they'll just make you want to hump stuff.

By:|March 23, 2008


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Owen Wilson And Kate Hudson In Biker Gang

For me, Easter has lots of traditions. Eating Ham, hunting for easter eggs, hearing my dad tell the same joke about a Vietnamese prostitute then hearing him apologize when my Mom reminds him that he's sitting two chairs away from his sister-in-law who's Vietnamese. Anyway, I can tell you one thing we don't do in my family, ride bikes. People.com reports: Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson spent Easter weekend together in Miami , and this time, the on-again duo were joined by Hudson's son, Ryder, for coffee runs and bike rides. Alright, I write about some really un-newsworthy stuff, but I fail to see how two people riding bikes is newsworthy. Like, to me, the only way this story would be exciting is if they were riding a triple bicycle and it looked like this: That's right, if the entire cast of Mr. Belvedere was riding on the third seat, that would be some pretty newsworthy shit right there. Especially since I think the dude who played Mr. Belvedere is dead.

By:|March 23, 2008


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Legless Wrestler “Kicks” Crap Out Of Opponent

Armless and Legless Wrestler - Watch more free videos Maybe losing a wrestling match to a kid who only has one arm and zero legs may be a sign that wrestling isn't your sport. Perhaps it's time to try out for the Debate team or the Chess team or the Oh Man, I'm Never Getting Laid At This School Because I Lost To The One-Limbed Kid In A Wrestling Match team. I'm just sayin'. Thanks to Gorillamask...

By:|March 23, 2008


Bill Belichick Is An Ass Man

 This photo of New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick staring at an ass at an NIT basketball game leaves me with a few questions. They are, in order of importance: 1. Why is Bill staring at that dumpy ass? 2. Is Bill trying to figure out if that's a guy's or a girl's ass? 3. Do you think Bill's bright-green hat says "I Loves Me Some Ass Staring"? 4. How long did Bill stare at that ass? (I hope it was 4 minutes.) 5. Is Bill holding a pile of shit in his hands? If anyone has any answers to these questions, please let me know.

By:|March 23, 2008


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MILF Monday: Katie Holmes

Age: 29 Where you've seen her: Katie Holmes has been in "Dawson's Creek," "The Ice Storm" and "Teaching Mrs. Tingle." But you know her best from her current reality series called "I Used To Be Normal, But I Am Now Cult Robot Wife Long Live L. Ron." Which is more of a tragedy than a comedy. Is She Really A MILF: Yeah, on April 18, 2006 her and some guy (I can't remember his name) had the cutest little tiny robot child that is expected to take of the world sometime in 2024. Sounds like fun!

By:|March 23, 2008


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Happy Easter From Holy Taco

Bunny Does It Doggy Style - Watch more free videos Even the Easter Bunny needs a little love. Doggy-style.

By:|March 22, 2008


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Man Sells Life On Ebay

Wow, think he took that divorce pretty hard? What if no one buys his life? I'm smelling shame spiral followed by excessive drinking, followed by the alienating of his only friends. But, if his life does sell, then I'm tempted to sell mine. Things that I have of interest include: Shitty apartment Two Alex Rodriguez rookie cards in near mint condition 1999 Ford Ranger Ladainian Tomlinson powder blue Chargers jersey Unemployed friends both with and without drinking problems Copy of Tuesdays With Morrie that's never been touched 20 Dollar gift certificate to Bed Bath and Beyond I start the bidding at 10,000.

By:|March 21, 2008


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Friday Link Dump

Random Shit I found On The Web I was surprised that Kansas City wasn't drunker. If I lived there I'd be drunk all the time. I wish I was 1/10 as fascinating as Tyra Banks. When I was little and wondered what the future would be like, this is EXACTLY what I thought. If anyone has one of these, please tell me so we can be friends. Every time I think the U.S. is the greatest country in the world, I see shit like this and realize there's a lot of room for improvement. This is pretty much the stand up routine of every single comedian in the 1990s. I don't even know what to say about this. If you can't wait until you're off the plane, well, that's a level of horniness I have yet to experience. Greg Paulus from Duke is an uber-douche (Nextround) David Wright does not like Phillies shirts (Bustedcoverage) Chain Saw Magic-Trick (Double Viking) Sofia Vergara in Maxim (Camel Tap) NASA finds brightest object in the universe (Asylum) Spring Break Bikini Spectacular (tastybooze) Snapshot: Gisele in a box (coedmagazine) There will be mustaches (complex) Spitzer's lady of the night, topless (Unibrow) Gemma Atkinson photo shoot (hornyoyster) And finally, our weekly feature, PHOTOSHOP WITH MARCUS, our reader with photoshopping skills and way too much time on his hands. Marcus recently visited a post office and found a very helpful package safety guide. Enjoy after the jump:

By:|March 21, 2008


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Creepy or Sexy: Teri Hatcher

Remember when Teri Hatcher used to be smoking hot? When she was on Seinfeld and Lois and Clark she had many young teenage boys doing many young teenage boy-type things to themselves. But now, not so much. And before you think I'm saying she's ugly because she's old, I'm just saying she doesn't look as good as she used to because it looks like she's injected 4,000ccs of Botox into her forehead. I guarantee she wouldn't even be up for discussion if she just looked like a normal, 40-year-old woman instead of a brain-eating robot zombie. (No, I don't know what a "robot zombie" is. The term just seemed to fit with this picture.) But the question still remains: is she creepy or is she still sexy?

By:|March 21, 2008


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Tori Spelling Wants In On 90210 Remake

Remember Beverly Hills 90210, the show that followed the adventures of a group of 40 year-old actors pretending to be virginal teenagers? Well, they're remaking it, and the very very talented Tori Spelling wants in. People.com reports: The actress has yet to be contacted by the producers of the Beverly Hills, 90210 remake the CW is developing, but Spelling, who played Donna Martin on the original show for 10 years, is ready to step up if she gets offered a role. Ready to step up if she gets offered a role huh? That's possibly an understatement. I'm pretty sure when her agent told her she replied with "Point me to the penis I have to put in my mouth to get this." It's weird they're remaking all these old TV shows. I also heard they're doing a remake of the A-team. I say we just combine the A-Team and 90210 and make them one show. Like, we have an episode where Brenda Walsh isn't sure if her boyfriend's cheating on her, so the A-team follows him, only to find out the boyfriend is an international arms dealer. Here's what the opening credits would look like: Beverly Hills a-team - Watch more free videos

By:|March 20, 2008


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Beer Is Better For Your Brain Than Wine

Hmm, maybe this is why I turn into a loud-mouthed know-it-all after a 12 pack of Meister Brau. According to independent.co.uk: Drinking too much wine damages the brain more than beer or spirits, scientists have discovered. New research on the long-term effects of heavy drinking shows that one area of the brains of wine drinkers was smaller than that of other people studied who drank different drinks in greater amounts. The ground-breaking study shows that the hippocampus, the part of the brain involved in memory, spatial tasks and many other functions, was more than 10 per cent smaller in those whose tipple was wine than in those who favoured beer. As someone who drinks wine, beer, spirits and, occasionally Scotch Guard, I understood three words of that report. Well, back to Happy Hour.

By:|March 20, 2008


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Woman Goes for Leg Operation, Gets New Anus

If you think you're having a bad day, at least you didn't accidentally get a new anus. But if you did accidentally get a new anus, then yes, you are having a bad day. According to FoxNews.com: A German retiree is taking a hospital to court after she went in for a leg operation and got a new anus instead, the Daily Telegraph is reporting. The woman woke up to find she had been mixed up with another patient suffering from incontinence who was to have surgery on her sphincter. The clinic in Hochfranken, Bavaria, has since suspended the surgical team. Now the woman is planning to sue the hospital. She still needs the leg operation and is searching for another hospital to do it. Here's how I imagine that post-operation conversation going: Woman: (groggily) Oh...wow...is the operation over? Doctor: Yes, it was a complete success. Woman: That is such a relief. Doctor: Just get a little rest and let me know if you need anything. Woman: OK, thanks! Oh, um, Doc? Doctor: Yes? Woman: Um, my leg still hurts and...for some reason, my anus REALLY hurts. Doctor: (looks at chart) Oh man, is my face red! See, I thought you were in for anus surgery, not leg surgery. So instead of fixing your leg, I gave you a new anus. You understand, right? Woman: Totally! That happens to me all the time! (Both laugh.) Curtain. Thanks to Rosie Rosencrantz for the link.

By:|March 20, 2008


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FYI: Adriana Lima Is Still Attractive

Adriana Lima GQ Photo Shoot Behind The Scenes - Watch more free videos In case you were wondering if Adriana Lima was hot or ugly, GQ.com put together a little video to make it clear that she is still attractive. I know, I know, it's kind of a shocker. I totally figured she was all disgusting and gross now. But, as you can see, she's not. I would like to personally thank GQ for setting the record straight. And if the video isn't enough, here are a few photos just to make it totally clear.

By:|March 20, 2008


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