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LSU chicks know how to lap grind (Busted Coverage) Video of 5 Flame-throwers going off at once (Double Viking) Obama is a pimp (Camel Tap) Uniform Dinosaur for sale (Asylum) Lindsay Lohan joins sex tape club (Tasty Booze) Steve-O damns drugs (Coedmagazine) Giant toasted ants (Complex) 10 hottest booty shaking videos (Unibrow) Featured babe of the day: Carol Marika (Hornyoyster)

By:|March 20, 2008


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Drink This: Penderyn Welsh Whisky

You've heard of Scottish Whisky, Irish Whiskey, Tennessee Whiskey and Kentucky Bourbon (which is also a whiskey.) But what about Welsh Whisky? The vowel-hating nation next to England is known mostly for Tom Jones and having a language that requires three tongues to properly speak. Actually, I'm just kidding. The country of Wales isn't actually known at all. But Penderyn single malt welsh whisky may just put them on the map. With notes of raisins and light fruit, this is a much lighter delicate than your average heavily peated LaPhroaig or Ardbeg. Which makes it well-liked by critics and women alike. Pull out a bottle of this the next time someone of the opposite sex or a well-known whisky critic comes over. Say this to sound smart: Penderyn finishes its ageing process in Madeira casks which gives it a subtlety and compexity not seen in other whiskies. Say this to sound stupid: I'm pretty sure my mom had sex with Tom Jones. Proof: 92 (46% abv) Price: $45

By:|March 19, 2008


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Want To Buy Britney’s Car?

This is what happens when you go bat shit crazy. People.com reports: A court granted Britney Spears' father on Monday the power to "sell or dispose of" an undisclosed number of her seven cars, documents show. Lawyers for Jamie Spears stated that the cost of maintaining the fleet of vehicles was too expensive and that the sale of "a certain of" her cars "will save substantial expense to the conservatorship estate. Lawyers also stated that Jamie Spears was "Short on beer money" and that "Strippers don't tip themselves if ya know whatta I mean." So of course, who wouldn't want to own a car previously owned by Britney Spears? Just check out this advertisement on AutoTrader that her dad put up:

By:|March 19, 2008


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9 College Mascots That Should Be Real

It's March Madness time. And with March Madness comes college mascots. Every school chooses a mascot that strikes fear or intimidation into the heart of their opponent. But we think maybe they're not always the most accurate depictions of what that school is all about. Without further ado, here's 9 College Mascots we'd do if we were in charge. 9. The San Diego State University Worthless Degrees 8. The West Virginia University Birth Defects

By:|March 19, 2008


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Exclusive: Why Spitzer Really Paid So Much

Why did Eliot Spitzer feel the need to drop $4,100 on two hours with a prostitute? What kind of sex could possibly cost that much? To get these answers, I went right to the source and talked to Dennis Hof, owner of the world famous Bunny Ranch in Carson City, and Brooke Taylor, one of the ranch bunnies. If anyone knows why a prostitute would cost so much, it's Dennis. Why would someone pay $4,100 for a prostitute? Dennis Hof: My guess is that he's really kinky. Straight sex isn't that expensive. They start charging more when you want double back flips with a twist and anal. One very important aspect of this whole story is that he made her take the train. He probably wanted her to bring handcuffs, restraints, cattle prods who knows. But I guarantee the reason she took the train was because she had things that she couldn't take on a plane. Have you ever tried to get a pair of handcuffs or a cattle prod through airport security? It's not easy. Brooke Taylor: Men in power fantasize about relinquishing that power. The Alpha Male like Spitzer doesn't usually go for the regular sex. If you're willing to pay $4,100 for two hours, you're limited only by your imagination. If you're with a girl that you click with, you can get anything you want. So, the reason he had to spend so much was because he wanted kinky sex? DH: As with anything, some girls are more expensive. If she's a porn star or somehow famous, then she's much more expensive, but it's clear the Governor's prostitute is just a regular girl. For $4,100 you could get 10 bunnies and a bottle of champagne at my ranch. I bet the more he kept getting into it, the kinkier he needed the sex to be. Did he have a rape fantasy? Did he want to choke her? Did he want her to choke him? This is the kind of stuff you get into at that price. BT: The powerful men I've known usually want to give that power up. That coupled with the high price he paid--I wouldn't be surprised if he had her using things like handcuffs, hog ties, rope, ankle cuffs, ball gags or penis leashes. Penis leashes are great for making sure your penis doesn't run away. DH: I just talked to Joe Francis (of Girls Gone Wild) and he said he has tons of video of this girl. I offered her $250,000 to come work at the Bunny Ranch so the world can experience what the governor experienced. But, I'm also offering Spitzer a VIP Governor Booty Pass so he can reunite with her back here at the ranch where it's legal and he wouldn't have to deal with the criminal side of prostitution. Here it's legal so he wouldn't have to drag his wife and family to a press conference when he was finished. If you ran for governor, I would vote for you. Dennis Hof and his Bunny Ranch will be featured on 20/20 and Dateline this Friday. Watch it, then pay Mr. Hof a visit the next time you're in Las Vegas. Your genitals will thank you.

By:|March 19, 2008


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Bulgaria’s Michael Jackson Is Better Than Ours

Bulgaria's Michael Jackson - Watch more free videos This video takes about 40 seconds to really get going, but it's well worth the wait. Apparently this guy is named Trifon. He's a croissant maker and contestant on Bulgaria's version of American Idol who really thinks he can sing and dance like Michael Jackson. But the best part is, he can't. Which somehow has made him an overnight sensation in the Southeastern European nation. Basically, he's the new William Hung, if William Hung thought he was Michael Jackson and was Bulgarian.

By:|March 19, 2008


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Kristin Davis Sex Tape

I was gonna post about this bad ass TV that materializes from under your bed, but this story came along. Kristin Davis, who's famous for her role as "The Brown Haired Annoying Chick" on "That One Super Annoying Show Your Girlfriend Treats As The F-ing Bible" on HBO has now fallen victim to yet another Hollywood sex scandal. TMZ.com reports: Rumors have been floating around the Internet that there is a sex tape featuring "Sex and the City's" Kristin Davis. The photos, we're told, were snapped in 1992 by an ex-boyfriend. That's right, they are just photos -- no sex tape, fellas! According to reports, 20 photos are making the rounds, but actually it's not quite 20. We're told the ex-boyfriend was pissed at Kristin and then sold the photos to a third party. In 1992, no one knew Al Gore would invent the internet, so she probably thought the worst that could happen is he'd show it to friends. Look, I love naked pictures too, but the way I deal with it is to just hire a clown to draw etch-a-sketches of my girlfriend and I having sex. It's much harder to widely circulate those. Here are the pics. Some are saying it's not her. Either way, VERY NSFW.

By:|March 19, 2008


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Shia LaBeouf Wanted By Police

As much as I think Shia LaBeouf is a douche, and I do, I would say maybe the police are taking shit a bit seriously if he gets taken down for this: TMZ.com reports a warrant has been issued for the arrest of Shia LaBeouf. LaBeouf received a ticket February 18 in Burbank for unlawful smoking, a misdemeanor. He was supposed to appear in court at 8:30 AM, but neither he nor a lawyer showed -- so a $1,000 bench warrant was issued for Shia's arrest. I think they should make him donate that 1,000 dollars to a charity I've created called "People who wasted 138 minutes of their life watching Transformers thinking it would be fun, but instead had to sit through his shitty acting and a retarded homo-erotic story line between Shia and Optimus Prime." I call it "PWW1MOTLWTTIWBFBIHTSTHSAARHSLBSAOP" for short. Now that I think about it, I hope he does go to jail. Then I hope Gary Busey purposely commits a crime so that he can be sent to that prison in order to break Shia out. It would result in several minute conversations consisting of Busey saying "Hey! I tattooed a map of the escape exits on my back, we just gotta follow them out!," and Shia saying "Those aren't tattoos. You just rubbed your own feces on your back in the shape of a square. Please, get away from me." Tell me you wouldn't watch that show.

By:|March 18, 2008


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Link Time

Out Of Control St. Patrick's Day Fight (Busted Coverage) Barack Obama-sistible! (Double Viking) It's a nerd cake (Camel Tap) 7 Deadly dating sins and how to avoid them (Just A Guy Thing) Winemaker insures his nose for 8 million (Asylum) Sled Smart (Tasty Booze) 7pm Suicide Girl: Machete (Coedmagazine) Kristen Cavallari got lucky at 13 (complex) 10 greatest mascot fights of all time (Unibrow)

By:|March 18, 2008


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Give-A-Wednesday: Win FIFA Street 3

Write a caption for this photo of Vinnie Jones getting to know his opponent and you can win a copy of FIFA Street 3 for the Xbox 360. As usual, leave your captions in the comments section. Winners will be notified via email. See last week's winner after the jump.

By:|March 18, 2008


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Audrina Patridge From The Hills Is Naked

So, apparently the chick from The Hills, Audrina Patridge, wanted to get into Playboy Magazine when she was younger, and took some naked pictures. You can see them at wwtdd.com. The reaction in the "press" is one of surprise that she took naked photos. She's on a reality show that makes her look like she snorted a mountain of cocaine and then went retarded, so I'm guessing it wasn't a huge decision for her to show her boobies. Surprising would be if it was reported that Audrina from the Hills laid out a detailed proposal for a universal health care plan. That would be surprising. Showing boobies, not surprising.

By:|March 18, 2008


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1 in 4 Japanese Couples Don’t Have Sex

If you think people in Japan are spending all their time screwing each other, well, you're wrong. According to fleshbot.com: One-quarter of married couples in Japan have had no sex in the past year, a survey showed. Sex is particularly elusive as people grow older, with the study finding that 37.3 percent of Japanese married couples in their 50s were not having sex. There was no comparable data for other countries but earlier surveys by condom manufacturer Durex has put Japan among the world's least sexually active nations. After doing a little research, I came up with a few reasons why the Japanese folk aren't getting it on as much as they should: 1. Sex is on the list of things that dishonors your ancestors and brings shame upon your family. Also on that list: not getting into Harvard, losing your job, and giving birth to a daughter. 2. White American businessmen's "Asian fetish" and the sex tourism industry leave no Asian women for Asian men. 3. Seeing your wife in a bukkakke video kinda kills the mood. 4. While American men use their knowledge of baseball to prolong sexual intercourse, Asian men use their knowledge of baseball to make sure no one wants to have sex with them. 5. Many Asian women fear the fabled myth known as Godzilla Penis..

By:|March 18, 2008


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Spitzer’s Whore Is At It Again

Covering the "whores who had sex with governors" beat is a lot busier than I had expected. In addition to having sexual congress with New York's ex-governor, our girl Ashley Dupre (aka Spitzer's Swallower) apparently appeared in one of the illustrious Girls Gone Wild videos back in 2003. Click here to see a short clip of her dancing around in a bikini. There's no nudity, but if you're at work and your boss is the kind of person who says stuff like, "I don't pay you to watch short videos of girls dancing around in their bikinis. Now go fax yourself." then maybe you shouldn't watch this if he's looking over your shoulder. If he's not the kind of person who says that stuff, then I suggest you watch it immediately. Courtesy of NS4w.org

By:|March 18, 2008


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Taco Belle: Aria Giovanni

AGE: 30 Where you've seen her: While Aria Giovanni has appeared in some bondage and fetish "artistic" photography, she was also in a a movie called "Survivors Exposed," which was a parody of the Survivor TV show. If there was ever a parody of the Oscars, I'm sure she would've won one. Tantalizing tidbit: She's divorced from John 5, who despite sounding like he could be another alias for Client #9, was actually the guitarist for Marilyn Manson and Rob Zombie.                    

By:|March 18, 2008


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Does Anyone Care About A.J. McLean?

I really love when people that no one gives two shits about, announce stuff to the public.  That's why I always honor them for doing so in this blog.  People.com reports: Backstreet Boy A.J. McLean put tickets on sale Tuesday for two sneak-preview solo concerts. "After 13 years with the Backstreet Boys, and 75 million records sold worldwide, A.J.'s excited to take a step out on his own," says his manager. That is not true.  I know for a fact that he is not going forward with a solo career.  He has once again joined a group with three other men and let me tell you, they are prolific.  I saw them last Sunday and they parked the SHIT out of my car.

By:|March 18, 2008


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Link Time

This is how Eliot Spitzer did it (Busted Coverage) What did Heather Mills deserve (Double Viking) Meet Vanessa Hessler (Camel Tap) Here's how to save money (Just A Guy Thing) If you've ever wondered where spam e-mails come from (Asylum) This vodka scares me (tastybooze) Remember Lenny Dykstra?  Not like this I bet (Coedmagazine) Eliot Spitzer's prostitute gets another offer (Complex) 10 Sexiest Hot Chicks with whip cream videos (Unibrow)

By:|March 18, 2008


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Charlie Rose’s Face Is Gross

Roseby luvnews Holy shit, take a day off Charlie, Jesus. There's no way I can enjoy what I'm sure will be an incredibly exciting discussion of the deal between Bear Stearns and J.P. Morgan with that big ass black eye on his face. I don't believe for a second he "slipped." I'm guessing he was at a press junket and Tom Brokaw called him a pussy bitch and Rose threw off his jacket and said "Say that shit to my mo-f%&kin face?! Say it!" Then Brokaw walked up to him and really slowly said "You's. A. Pussy. Biiiitch." Then there was a tense moment of silence until Rose threw the first punch and it got crazy. Then Brokaw pulled out a gun and Rose was like "Do it. Shoot me bitch! Do it!" and Rose kept walking closer and closer to Brokaw who was like, starting to cry but still had his finger on the trigger, and finally Rose pressed his own forehead against the barrel of the gun and was like "DO IT!" and Brokaw dropped the gun and started crying. Then Rose slipped on his own sweat and banged his head on the ground and that's how he got the black eye.

By:|March 17, 2008


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Punky Brewster Grows Baby

Previous to hearing this, the only two things I could tell you about the chick that played Punky Brewster was that she didn't like Lima Beans, and she grew up to have big 'ol titties. Now there's a third fact I can shove in to conversations to ensure awkward moments at parties that my girlfriend drags me to. People.com reports: Former Punky Brewster star Soleil Moon Frye and her husband, Jason Goldberg, have welcomed their second child, a girl, the actress's rep tells PEOPLE exclusively. Frye told PEOPLE last fall that her daughter Poet was already bonding with the new baby. "She talks to the belly all the time and tells the baby she loves it," Frye said. First of all, look at that picture. Either Soleil Moon Frye is 4'2, and her husband is 70 or the people who shot Lord Of The Rings took this picture and her husband is actually three inches from the camera while Soleil is standing four hundred yards away. Secondly, her first daughter is named "Poet? Why not just name her "Pretentious. That would at least be more of a conversation piece. Now, to properly celebrate the upcoming birth of Punky's child, I bring you the latin opening of Punky Brewster featuring the greatest voice over performance in recent memory. Just watch the first six seconds.

By:|March 17, 2008


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By:|March 17, 2008


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By:|March 17, 2008


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