By: bgoldstein | 28/11/2013
By: bgoldstein | 28/11/2013
By: bgoldstein | 28/11/2013
It’s the beginning of September so hopefully we’re done with the August crapfest of movies like last week’s utter trash.
By:Ian Fortey|September 6, 2013
War? Poverty? Disease? Hunger? No. This. This is the most disgusting thing ever. I taste bile.
By:Ian Fortey|September 5, 2013
We've all heard of the Shocker, the Stranger, The Dirty Sanchez and the Cleveland Steamer, but there are countless others that were never elegant enough to make it into our every day lexicon. As a service to all and to honor those we've lost, here are 10 dirty maneuvers that never really caught on.
By:Ian Fortey|September 4, 2013
I have linoleum tile in my bathroom and I have a functioning bladder and ass bladder (sometimes called guts, sometimes called digestive tract). These two facts are mutually exclusive but came together in a harrowing way recently.
By:Ian Fortey|September 3, 2013
Labor Day is a day to celebrate labor and days. It’s a grand event and we’re all better off for it. Still, some people may not know how to enjoy Labor Day properly or, worse, they’re from a backward nation that doesn’t even have Labor Day. Whatever the reason you’re ill-equipped to handle today, here’s 25 things you should do.
By:Ian Fortey|September 2, 2013
Quick, before looking, name a movie that opens this week. Yeah, you can’t because jack shit opens this week. This is the weirdest thing ever. Usually there’s at least one movie every week that is the “big” release, you know? Not this week. Every movie is just a masterful turd that no one even bothered to advertise. Let’s look at the little shit storms anyway.
By:Ian Fortey|August 30, 2013
I sometimes wonder what it's like to be insane. I don't mean minor league insane, like my family, but big ol' crazy insane, like people who yell at pots and pans and hear voices and maybe try to build living meat statues for the Lord. So insane that the world in which you live is just indescribably different from the world in which the rest of us exist.
By:Ian Fortey|August 29, 2013
When I was in university, I went to a party one night at a friend’s house. It was a keg party, there were lots of people and I got so drunk I sat in the parking lot of the dry cleaner’s next door drooling such a massive puddle at my own feet people assumed I had thrown up.
By:Ian Fortey|August 28, 2013
By now you're aware that Miley Cyrus somehow both carefully and sloppily orchestrated a massive campaign to get everyone to talk about her ass. All it took was a mediocre song, creepy imagery and the worst wardrobe ever. And now I present to you, things that look like Miley Cyrus' ass.
By:Ian Fortey|August 27, 2013
Rumors have already begun swirling that Blizzard, grandaddy of MMO game playing and creators of World of Warcraft are going to release details of their 5th expansion to their hugely popular game this fall at Blizzcon.
By:Ian Fortey|August 26, 2013
Last week I cheaped you on reviews because, well, I was on vacation. I’m not doing this when I’m on vacation, why would I? So this week we’ll get back into the nitty gritty of judging movies based solely on their names and maybe their posters or commercials, if I’ve seen them. Totally valid form of film criticism.
By:Ian Fortey|August 23, 2013
In case you hadn’t heard, Timur Bekmambetov, the mad Russian behind Wanted and Night Watch, is producing a new film called Squirrels. It’s a horror movie. It’s about squirrels.
By:Ian Fortey|August 22, 2013
You may have noticed a stark lack of Taco for the past several days. Where have I been? Did I die? Was I fired? Was I sold into sex slavery? No! I was on vacation. I vacated! I rarely go on vacation, and just to be clear I have actually never gone on vacation from [...]
By:Ian Fortey|August 21, 2013
Guess what? I'm on vacation. I'm not really going to see any of these movies this weekend because I will be in a casino up to my nuts in alcohol and terrible decisions. Hi-yo!
By:Ian Fortey|August 16, 2013
August is winding down and we’ve been without the thrill of Game of Thrones for some months now. Have you forgotten how much you love the show? Have you been cutting yourself awaiting its return? Have you touched yourself whilst thinking of me? Of course.
By:Ian Fortey|August 15, 2013
There are some people in the world that you’d like to square off against, not out of anger or malice, but out of respect and wonder. People you want to challenge because you respect who they are and what they can do and you know you won’t even defeat them, but there’s a certain thrill in simply sharing the arena with them – this is an article about that. I bear these people no ill-will, just the opposite.
By:Ian Fortey|August 13, 2013
Word is that CBS is adapting a medical drama based on the Wizard of Oz. You may recall that the Wizard of Oz has as much to do with doctors as this website has to do with not making fun of dumbass ideas like adapting medical dramas from The Wizard of Oz. And because of that, here are 25 ideas that are even better!
By:Ian Fortey|August 12, 2013
So we’re powering into August and that means a heady mix of the leftover summer blockbusters and a number of movies no one loved when they were growing up. It’s fun, you’ll like it. Last week 2 Guns took the top spot, I suspect because logic dictates something had to be number one, and The Wolverine came in at number 2 because it was a fine film full of vascular Hugh Jackman.
By:Ian Fortey|August 9, 2013
Yesterday I received a legal notice about a photo on Holy Taco. Some gentleman apparently owned said photo and was not amused that we were hosting said photo. We didn’t have permission to use said photo. It was illegal. Copyright infringement. Remove it!
By:Ian Fortey|August 8, 2013
Best of Taco
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- 10 Items You Think Make You Cool, But Don't
- The 10 Most Worthless College Majors
- So This Is Why Ronald McDonald Is Always Smiling
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- Overheard at Thanksgiving
- Rick Majerus And Two Assholes. Springfield Sports Hall Of Fame. Crown Plaza Hotel. April 7, 2009.