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25 Things That Will Give You Hepatitis

Happy Valentine's Day! Did you know hepatitis is an inflammation of the liver and there's like a dozen different kinds of hepatitis, some viral and some not and that it's totally way more common than you thought? What we're saying is, your liver has no idea what it's in for. Anyway, enjoy your disease on this love-filled day.

By:|February 14, 2012


9 Valentines Sex Scenes to Get You In the Mood

It’s Valentine’s Day! Are you ready to be intimate? We sure are. The best way to engage in such intimacy is to learn from masters and who better to teach you than the Hollywood elite? We’ve assembled a pastiche of some of the hottest sex scenes in film to help you get in the mood and get randy with your special someone. We dare you to watch these and not touch yourself!

By:|February 14, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Johnny Knoxville’s Dad

Oh, you're supposed to use a hot dog? Huh.

By:|February 14, 2012


Expectation v. Reality

We all see ourselves as The Fonz, but really, we're all more like Potsie. It's our expectations versus the reality. These two forces clash all the time. Regretful Morning has a nice gallery depicting some Expectation v. Reality moments that we're all too familiar with.

By:|February 13, 2012


Valentine’s Day Cards For The Permanently Friend-Zoned

We've all been relegated to the friend zone a time or twelve, and it's never fun. It gets particularly painful around Valentine's day, when you're forced to watch your lady friends pair up with guys other than you. Honestly, it's probably your fault for not sacking up and being more forward, but if you choose to continue down the passive road, we've provided some appropriate Valentine's day greetings for you to pass along.

By:|February 13, 2012


10 Red Flags to Watch Out For On Valentine’s Day

Since Valentines Day (aka The Worst Day for Everyone) is tomorrow, our friends at Maxim have given us 10 red flags to watch out for on Valentines Day.  Enjoy!

By:|February 13, 2012


It’s 2012 and There Are Still People That Believe in Witchcraft and Human-Animal Hybrids

Have you ever wondered what our world would be like if we had all of the technology we do now, but we still held on to the superstitions and fears of the 1700s and 1800s? Imagine having Reddit, Buzzfeed, Twitter, and Facebook during the Salem Witch Trials.

By:|February 13, 2012


25 Australian Things That Will Mess You Up

To anyone who hasn't been there, Australia is a mysterious land of hilarious accents and Fosters beer. To actual Australians there are no accents and as far as we know you can't even buy Fosters in Australia. But to everyone it's a land full of animals with a merciless hate on for your continued, pain-free existence.

By:|February 13, 2012


How to Celebrate a Virtual Valentine’s Day

Commercials for Match.com assure us that 105% of all new relationships start online these days, and that’s a lot. Times have changed and no longer do people want to actually be near other people. Friends are filthy albatrosses around our necks and interpersonal relationships can lead to paternity episodes of Maury. In this crazy world, the only sane choice is an online relationship. Tell yourself this if you’re alone and occasionally have dirty conversations with strangers in Yahoo chat rooms. They still have chat rooms, right?

By:|February 13, 2012


The Morning Jolt: It’s OK

This is an important lesson for every single person on the internet.

By:|February 13, 2012


Sunday Comics

It's Sunday and that means tasteless jokes with pictures attached!

By:|February 12, 2012


Classic Taco: If Homer’s Odyssey Was Written On Twitter

This was written by our pal Eric Alt. If he had a website I would've linked to it.

By:|February 11, 2012


Holy Taco Draws the News: Macaulay Culkin

Home Alone star Macaulay Culkin became newsworthy this week thanks to a pic of him in which he is both thin and sporting a pale kid beard. These two things together have convinced the internet that Culkin just contracted hepatitis polio AIDS from tainted meth. But yeah, we'll just let the pics explain it.

By:|February 11, 2012


These Are The Sexy Things I Keep In My Pants

Out there somewhere there are hundreds, if not thousands, of researchers trying to make it big by publishing a study that will rattle the world and force us all to change the way we live. Until that day comes, many researches spend their time cranking out one useless study after another as a way of paying their dues. I have no idea if that’s how the world of scientific research works, but it’s the only logical explanation for why there are studies like this one, which claims that 43% of women carry around a pair of sexy underwear “just in case,” presumably because you never know when you might need to impress a man with an article of clothing that’s hidden out of sight beneath other articles of clothing.

By:|February 10, 2012

Raine Maida and Jeremy Taggart-RWP-002878

Holy Taco Interviews: Our Lady Peace’s Jeremy Taggart

Because sometimes you get sick of listening to what we have to say, we interview some of the cooler people we come across in our lives so you can listen to them instead. Today, we’ve got Jeremy Taggart, drummer from Our Lady Peace, prolific Twitterer, sports fan and amateur boxer.

By:|February 10, 2012


25 Unusual Saddled Animals

Any animal can earn +2 to awesome by having a saddle on its back. God, I wish we had a monkey for this gallery.

By:|February 10, 2012


Five Lies I’ve Told While Being Unemployed

Look at you, walking around all jobless and what not. It's pathetic! You're probably feeling like garbage, if you're being honest with yourself. Well, there's a simple solution to that problem: Stop being so honest with yourself. You should also stop being honest with others. Particularly about your job situation. 

By:|February 10, 2012


The Next Great Zombie Evolution

Zombies are one of the most versatile monsters in fiction. From its humble roots as a ghoul hungry for flesh, the zombie now comes in more flavors than Baskin Robbins. We have intelligent zombies, fast zombies, feeling zombies with undead manginas, zombies stalked by hilarious zombie killers and zombies that use machine guns and the odd garden hoe. The story of zombies keeps evolving, from the creatures themselves, to the worlds they inhabit.

By:|February 10, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Let the Bullets Fly

China, your food is awesome and this is awesome. I don't give a shit what Donald Trump says, I'll always love you, you Communist nut.

By:|February 10, 2012


The Truth About Rhinos

We just blindly assume we know everything there is to know about the noble rhinoceros. We know they have a horn on their face and we know that they look like cows built for war. That's all we know, and that's all we need to know...or so we thought. Regretful Morning wakes us up, pulls back the veil, and enlightens us to the harsh truth about rhino that we've always chosen to ignore. After finding out this truth, your perception of the world will be altered -- forever.

By:|February 9, 2012