Holy Taco

More Dead than Turducken: 5 Heart Stopping Foods Stuffed with Other Foods

About 10 years ago, turducken was a hilarious urban legend that surfaced around the holidays, the famed turkey stuffed with duck stuffed with chicken in order to satiate the needs of the most demanding carrion eaters. Surely the thing was not real though. We all politely laughed and went about our non-fatty fat fat business. But it was real. And it gained in popularity.   Now, in 2011. as we celebrate Thanksgiving we must realize there are people out there eating turduckens, for no other reason then they are amused by three birds dying for their meal instead of one, and all of it being jammed into one meaty place. But as the turducken was once the most hilarious artery-clogging rumor of yesteryear, new foods have arisen, things stuffed into other things that are more terrifying than any turkey/duck/chicken could ever wish to be!

By:Ian Fortey|November 23, 2011

The Morning Jolt – Granny’s Pop Rocks

Shortly after this video was filmed she hatched a scheme to destroy Batman once and for all. Admit it, when she starts laughing, you were thinking it, too.

By:Ian Fortey|November 23, 2011

Breeding Fail

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By:admin|November 22, 2011

A Guide To Black Friday Combat Tactics

Quiet…do you hear that rumbling? That’s the sound of the throngs of rabid madmen and women charging towards their nearest retail stores in an attempt to cash in on some Black Friday savings. Are you ready? Have you looked longingly in to the eyes of your lover one last time…just in case? Have you told your eldest son that he must watch over the family for the night…and possibly forever? If so, then you’re only half prepared to enter the war known as Black Friday. After reading this article about shopping tactics, you will be fully prepared. If you don't read this and you go Black Friday shopping anyway, make sure you leave your home with two forms of ID and your dental records pinned to your collar. Because you're going to be dead. You will die by the hands of a 63-year old woman that smokes 2-packs a day because you didn't think she would disembowel you because you stepped near an iPhone case that she wanted.

By:Luis Prada|November 22, 2011

GIF Attack!

  Batman approves of today's GIF Attack! My life is complete.

By:Luis Prada|November 22, 2011

Pepper Spray Is Not Delicious

Pepper spray has made an awesome comeback in the news over the past few weeks. It used to just be a thing that single ladies were into, but now everybody's digging it! It's a great defense against unwanted attackers of any species. It immobilizes without spilling blood, or causing too much of a scene. It's pretty harmless. As Fox News Host Megyn Kelly said “I mean, its like a derivative of actual pepper. It’s a food product, essentially.” So there you go, pussies! The UC Davis thing was a little excessive. I like seeing horrible things happen to clueless college kids just as much as the next bitter adult, but this was a bit much. A stolen hackey sack, a frisbee to the face = funny. But a powerful irritant to the mouth and eyeballs = funny at first, until you think about it. Pepper spray definitely not a food product. It uses a chemical found in actual peppers, but according to this really official looking report from Duke University, it's actually three-hundred times hotter than a jalapeño pepper. So if you want to know what it's like, put three-hundred of those bad boys on your eyeball and you'll be sort of close... Anyway, since we're here to make fun of things, here's some videos of people getting pepper sprayed. While what happened at UC Davis was pretty excessive and not that funny, you can feel free to laugh at the people in these videos, because they were totally asking for it...

By:Jim Tews|November 22, 2011

Missile Fail

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By:admin|November 22, 2011

The Wal Mart Corporate Black Friday Corporate Strategy

By:Ian Fortey|November 22, 2011

Flowchart To Determine if you Should Brave the Crowds this Black Friday

By:Ian Fortey|November 22, 2011

25 Creepy Sex Advice Books (Mildly NSFW)

We're back to the old style galleries today, let us know what you like better! Also, here are some sex guides that probably you should never buy, or, if you do buy them, never have sex.

By:Ian Fortey|November 22, 2011

Mists of Pandaria and Other Ways Holy Taco Can Save World of Warcraft

On October 13th of 2010, I wrote an article about the playable races that Blizzard needed to add to its next WoW expansion. Right there, second on the list, was the Pandaren race and now, as everyone knows, Pandarens are being added to the game as a new playable race. And yes, many others have suggested it before, but we suggested it and then it happened and we therefore assume we are the cause of it and that is awesome. Holy Taco inspired the Mists of Pandaria. Also, from the looks of things, China inspired a bit of it as well. But Holy Taco is in there.

By:Ian Fortey|November 22, 2011

The Morning Jolt – The Man Ain’t Keepin’ Him Down

If all your friends were jumping off of a bridge in front of a cop, would you?

By:Ian Fortey|November 22, 2011

Flour Power

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By:admin|November 21, 2011

Rich New Yorkers Are Tricking Out Vans, Creating A New Class of Up-Scale Pedophiles

According to the New York Times, vans, the most trusted vehicle among playground-trolling pedophiles, are quickly becoming the upper class New Yorker’s favorite toy. But these aren’t just any random vans with badass van murals featuring dragons with boobs shooting lightening from their nipples; these are fancy pants luxury vans, like the Mercedes Sprinter, tricked out with flat-screen TVs, couches, computers, mobile Wifi, and, in some cases, gold-plated buttons and knobs.

By:Luis Prada|November 21, 2011

5 Great Snack Foods For Latchkey Kids

So your parents are constantly working to put a roof over your head. They work late hours and you're the one who suffers. You're old enough to watch yourself now, and you won't set the house on fire. Or at least if you do, you'll know how to call the fire department and have it put out. You come home everyday from school to an empty house. Well, it's empty of people, but it's full of other awesome things like cable TV, unrestricted internet, video games, and junk food. Every once in a while you get a sad, lonely feeling in the pit of your stomach because you realize you're completely alone, but then you fill that pit with ungoverned amounts of snacks in substitute of a home-cooked meal. That's how you know your parents actually love you, because if they didn't love you, they wouldn't buy you such awesome easy-to-prepare food! Eat up! They'll be home any minute!

By:Jim Tews|November 21, 2011

Thanksgiving.0

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By:Noah G|November 21, 2011

25 Ridicuolously Unreadable Magazines

Print isn't dead, it's just gotten weird. Like these magazines, which you can peruse next time you're at your dentist. If your dentist is awesome.

By:Ian Fortey|November 21, 2011

The Policeman’s Guide to Protest Crowd Control (Abridged Edition)

In the past month or so, police at various protests around the country have pepper sprayed students who were sitting on the ground, the elderly, and Iraq war veterans. They have fired rubber bullets at individuals who were keeping their distance and also Iraq war veterans. They have beaten, abused and arrested countless dozens, if not hundreds, and thanks to the magic of cell phones, the internet and especially twitter, we’re all pretty confident that none of these people were being violent or out of control. This rash of abuse of authority makes you wonder if all the previous protests police have responded to have had similar incidents we just didn’t know about because no one could Tweet they were having their faces smashed in while they were having their faces smashed in.

By:Ian Fortey|November 21, 2011

The Morning Jolt – Beat the Devil Out of It

Bob Ross, you paint pure awesomeness.

By:Ian Fortey|November 21, 2011

Classic Taco – ‘How To: Pretend You’re Listening To Your Girlfriend’

 It's eight o'clock tonight, and you've got a computer, a television set, a cell phone, and a paused game of Skate 2, all grappling for your attention.  The last thing you feel like paying attention to is your girlfriend, and whatever trivial matter she's decided to complain about.  There's a difference between your girlfriend and all of those other things, though: if you don't pay attention to her, she'll totally leave, and that would suck. That doesn't mean that you actually have to devote your attention to her, but you'll have to figure out how to make her think that you're focusing on her, rather than the action-packed finale of Whale Wars that's blaring in the background.  Here are some helpful tips to get you started:  Blink Frequently Blinking is your way of telling the rest of the world, in a bold yet silent voice: "I am conscious!"  Use this to your advantage.  Women love it when a man remains conscious during a conversation.  Blinking consistently is a great way to tell them that you're both alive and awake.  Try not to focus too much on it, though, as overly excessive blinking can be distracting, and even signify health problems or brain disorders, and you do not want your girlfriend thinking you're retarded.  With some practice, you should be able to blink naturally while your girlfriend is complaining to you.  

By:Jim Tews|November 20, 2011