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The Truth Comes Out

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By:|December 8, 2011


Iran Drone

13 Ways America Can Brush Off The Fact That Iran Has One of Our Drones

Iran as captured one of our prized technologically advanced UAV drones. This makes our already contentious relationship with Iran a bit…awkward. In situations like this it’s always fun to imagine how the United States, a country filled with over 300 million unique voices, would react to this new if it were a single person. How would America verbally respond to all of this? With a classic American brush-off, that’s how. We Americans are really good at rationalizing our mistakes in an attempt to save face, like the guy that trips while crossing the street and turns that trip in to a run, giving the crappy illusion that he decided to suddenly start running for no reason and elected to start off his run in the most awkward and clunky way possible. Brush-offs – we’re good at it. So let’s see how we would brush off a highly valuable piece of war tech falling in to the wrong hands.

By:|December 8, 2011


jim-derpy

GIF Attack!

I just watched Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Do you honestly expect me to type something witty and coherent after that bombardment of idiocy? No, you can't. Therefore, no witty opening to today's GIF Attack. Unless these words count as something witty. If so, hooray! You got witty!

By:|December 8, 2011


CatInSantaHat

What Not To Do With Your Pets This Christmas

Tis the season for stupid pictures. Pets are no exception to this rule. If you're one of those people who opted for a pet instead of a child, first off, good choice. Second, be careful how you treat the little critter this Christmas. We don't mean the obvious stuff like picking up pine needles so the dog doesn't eat them, or hanging edible ornaments out of their reach. We're talking about the slightly embarrassing things you're bound to do to you animal because they can't always object. You can put dumb Christmas clothes on your toddler, because they deserve that sort of treatment, and you're going to want pictures like that sitting around for blackmail use later on in their lives. But pets. Pets don't deserve to be treated like that. Leave the santa hats and jingle bell collars off of them.

By:|December 8, 2011


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/Muppet Impersonations

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By:|December 8, 2011


wii rip off

25 Knock Off Video Game Consoles for this Holiday Season

Christmas is upon us and chances are if you have a child or a man under 50 in your life, they want some video games for Christmas. But what game? And what if you want to save money for beer? Best to buy a knock off game so you can be drunk and they can play Super Mariott Brothers. Try one of these!

By:|December 8, 2011


douchebag2

The 8 Biggest Douchebags of 2011 Who Will Haunt 2012

Well, another year is wrapping up and it’ll be ages before we get to our next douchebag tournament. But in that time, you might forget about the douches that were over this past illustrious year, and what a briny year it was. Worse yet, this year was chock-a-block with douches who will probably be douches all over again next year. Yes, gone are the day when assholes do something assholey and are shamed into hiding. Now, they get a renewed season of their TV show and can be an asshole again in a new city 9 months down the road. Sad, really. But anyway, let’s check out the douches of yesterday who will soon be the douches of tomorrow.

By:|December 8, 2011


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The Morning Jolt: The MythBusters Will Destroy Your House

Ever wonder what would happen if the MythBusters shot a cannon at a house by accident? Wonder no longer!

By:|December 8, 2011


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Don’t Tackle The Shed, Bro!

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By:|December 7, 2011


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Don’t Read This Article If You’re A Rick Perry Supporter

Warning: Don’t read this if you don’t want to hear someone rant about how some people can’t seem to comprehend ideas that should be simple and easy to grasp in the 21st century. In other words, I’m going to be ranting about politics. Specially, a new Rick Perry campaigned ad. If you don’t want to put up with unfunny righteous indignation, then, please, I implore you, skip this one and move on to another one of our articles. When uploading this in to Wordpress, I even went as far as to classifiy it as "Opinion Focused", so you know I'm about to get righteously indigent. Ready to get all righteous-y and indignation-y? Then let’s begin. First off, watch the video above and then continue reading.

By:|December 7, 2011


lB2TC

GIF Attack!

I don't know what this is, what it means, or why it even exists. All I have to say about it is, yes. YES! YEEEESSSS!I don't even know why I have to say that. It just feels right, you know?

By:|December 7, 2011


PearlHarborHeader

You Should Acknowledge Pearl Harbor Day

Today honors the men and women who lost their lives in the attack on Pearl Harbor back in 1941. It was a sneak attack on the U.S. Naval base that pushed our entry into WWII. Over 2,400 Americans were killed and a hefty amount of U.S. ships docked there were destroyed, or nearly destroyed. What's important to remember is that the attacks on Pearl Harbor changed the course of history forever. America threw itself into World War II the day after the attacks. World War II changed our country and our culture forever. Had we not been so affected involved we would be living in a world without some of the best video games and the worst movies ever. Consider...

By:|December 7, 2011


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Roxbury IRL

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By:|December 7, 2011


butt portrait

25 Butt Tattoos (Mildly NSFW)

Every argument for or against tattoos as a form of art, personal expression or anything like that go right out the window when you get something tattooed on your ass. So here's 25 butt tattoos.

By:|December 7, 2011


family guy

(Not for the) Family Feud

If you’re employed or festooned with things like pride and friends, you may not watch as much Family Feud as you could. And you may also be unaware of the following facts; • Family Feud predates TV. It was originally a radio show and before that a hit on the telegraph. Prior to that, it was just two families fighting, usually with more melee weapons than survey questions. • Family Feud has had 17 different hosts. 6 have never been heard from since. • If you watch Family Feud at midnight under a full moon, you become Richard Dawson and will sexually harass any female over the age of 18 (or 16 if she can pass for 18) Yes, the Feud is a part of Americana but another thing you may not know is that the “family” part of the name is mostly ceremonial and meaningless. The Family Feud is raunch central. If you doubt just how far this seemingly wholesome show has fallen, check out these clips. Totally obscene, yo.

By:|December 7, 2011


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The Morning Jolt: Melodious Mullet

This dude probably still tells stories about this. And now, so will you.

By:|December 7, 2011


Kepler-22-b-008

25 Sexy New Names for Kepler 22b

So Science has given us Jack Lalanne Juicers and now a second Earth. Indeed, somewhere in the great beyond lies Kepler 22-b, an earth-like planet with delightful 22 degree Celsius weather and, you know, nothing else earth-like about it. It’s more than twice the size of Earth and no one knows if it even has a surface or if it’s just a ball of gas, but shut up, because it’s room temperature there, and what more do you want? We want a better name.

By:|December 6, 2011


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Lil’er Wayne

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By:|December 6, 2011


waterslide-sex-couple

Pondering The Impracticalities of Having Sex While Riding A Waterslide

Being sexually adventurous is a nice thing that can spice up any relationship. Though, there is a certain line of silliness and impracticality that people cross every once in a while in an attempt to reach their version of sexual nirvana. Recently, I wrote about a couple that had sex while skydiving. They thought that by combining the thrill of sex with the possibility of being turned in to paste their sexual pleasure would be maximized tenfold, or however many fold the possibility of getting turned in to paste generates. I’m assuming about twelve. I don’t know. In school, I never paid attention to the lessons on the exchange rates between death-defying acts and folds. The latest instance of a couple getting their rocks off in an impractical way comes to us from Poland, where a young couple was caught having sex while shooting down a waterslide. This article can go in a few different directions from here, but I want to focus on the practicality of having sex while riding a waterslide. Namely, I want to address the issues of disgustingness in relation to genital health post-waterslide coitus.

By:|December 6, 2011


ROCKO

GIF Attack!

  Damn, Rocko! Your show was violent! That explains a lot about me.

By:|December 6, 2011


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