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The Morning Jolt – Baby in the Machine

This appears to be a woman jamming her child in a machine to get some fat loot. But also, does the guy filming this drop the C-bomb? Atta boy.

By:|November 15, 2011


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Sexiest Game Ever?

Sexiest Hole in the Wall Game Ever - Watch MoreFunny Videos   Adventures in Babysitting (truTV) Poppy Montgomery Hotness (Maxim) David Lynch Talks Soundtracks (Nerve) The Sexiest Czech Models Ever (Coed) George W Gets a Haircut (JackFM) Girls Getting Wedgies Gallery (RegretfulMorning) Star Wars Cantina Cheers (DogAndPony) The Sexiest Brazilian Girls Ever (Linkiest) 20 Hot Babes In NBA Gear (CampusSocialite) Herman Cain on...Life (TheDailyWhat) Hot Football Babes (DJMick) Hilarious Toddlers and Tiaras Screenshots (ForkParty) Irina Shayk Sexiness (MoeJackson) Saints Row The Third Review (Heavy) The Worst Things Men Put Up With Sex (Guyism) Amanda Marie Hotness (GorillaMask) Justin Bieber on Condoms (CelebJihad) The Craziest Video Game Controllers Ever (EgoTV) CoCo Cleavage Hotness (HollywoodTuna) Hottest Babe of the Day (DoubleViking) Terminator: Ghana (FilmDrunk) The MMA Stockmarket (CagePotato)  

By:|November 14, 2011


Skyrim Marriage

Elder Scrolls: Skyrim Has Made Me Want To Grow Up, Settle Down, And Get Married

Last week, I wrote about how I was saying my goodbyes to my loved ones and getting my affairs in order, as I was about to embark on an epic journey through a newly released video game called Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Today, as a bit of a follow-up, I would like to tell you about how Skyrim, which I played all weekend, has made me feel like an idiot by toying with my emotions and turning me in to a huge pussy.

By:|November 14, 2011


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This Guy’s Probably Got An Awesome Online Dating Profile

Ladies, hello! first of all, as I am a street performer, I do meet a lot of women, but they're mostly tourists, plebes whose origin is unfamiliar to me. I'm really looking for something a little more long-term, a relationship that will last through two queens! I'm not a rich man, and my blood is not noble, but I do ok for myself. I get many handsome offers to play a lot of LARPing events. Every worthwhile gathering like that needs a capable minstrel to accurately tell the story of the epic battles that take place in song-form! I'm rambling, my apologies, m'lady. What I'm getting at is -- I'm no struggling musician. If you want to know more about this strong, capable man with an angelic voice, keep reading.

By:|November 14, 2011


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Holytaco Buzz: Occupy Frank Miller

Though most Celebrities are embracing the Occupy movement, there's one that couldn't be more against it...Frank Miller. "Occupy is nothing but a pack of louts, thieves, and rapists, an unruly mob, fed by Woodstock-era nostalgia and putrid false righteousness. These clowns can do nothing but harm America." Miller wrote that on his blog and has sparked discussion whether or not he's living in reality, or perhaps testing out the typical opening narration for every one of this graphic novels.  Time will tell.

By:|November 14, 2011


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Pearls of Wisdom

How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex - Watch MoreFunny Videos   The Storm Chasing Schmucks (truTV) Keira Knightly Hotness (Maxim) The Worst Jack and Jill Reviews Ever (Ranker) Anti-Smoker Fail (FunnyCrave) Victorias Secret Fashion Show Hotness (Popoholic) Sexy Babes Without Lingerie (Linkiest) A Tumblr…Of Hot Chicks (BroBible) 8 Things That Sucks About Music Festivals (Guyism) Cousin Wanted A Booty Call (RegretfulMorning) Why Skyrim Will Be Better In Real Life (AdultSwim) Baby Likes Biggy (TheDailyWhat) Jessica Gomes Maxim Hotness (CelebSlam) GiGi Star Sexiness (GorillaMask) Billy Crystal for the Oscars! (FilmDrunk) 25 Epic Bus Ads (SuperBooyah) Herman Cain Imagines A Pizza-less World (IAmBored) Why The Muppets Should Host The Oscars (ScreenJunkies)

By:|November 14, 2011


barf

25 Aliens That Don’t Want to Eat You

Most alien movies depict aliens are bloodthirsty, butt-faced, dread-locked nightmares who will do anything to eat, mate with or explode you. But some just want the mating! Or to be your buddy. Whatever.

By:|November 14, 2011


wonderfulmoustache

It’s a Wonderful Moustache

It's another Movember Monday and as we continue to celebrate and promote the Movember movement (and men's health in general) we're forced to wonder...what would life be like without a moustache? What if your moustachely powers were stripped from you, what kind of life would you lead? What if you could look into that awesome, evil Star Trek dimension where facial hair does or does not exist as the story dictates and see how things would be all mind blowingly different? And what if we made a graphic to show it to you? Oh man, scroll down!

By:|November 14, 2011


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The Morning Jolt – The Dirtiest Drunks

Teens use Vodka Filled Tampons to get drunk - Watch MoreFunny Videos This is about kids getting by soaking tampons in vodka. Guys, too. It's hard to decide what's funnier here, the idea that kids are actually doing butt beer bongs (according to the video they are) or the way CBS reports the story like it's about a zany, purple alien.

By:|November 14, 2011


MadLibs

Sunday Comics

Oh Sunday, your comics so crazy.

By:|November 13, 2011


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Buni

If Buni had been on Prison Break, the show would have been infinitely more interesting.

By:|November 12, 2011


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Classic Taco – A Flowchart to Determine What Religion You Should Follow

Flowcharts are a great way to make sense out of confusing scenarios, and there's no scenario that's more confusing than trying to figure out what religion you should follow. That's why we've created this helpful flowchart to guide you through the process:

By:|November 12, 2011


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Mario Fail IRL

Super Mario Fail IRL - Watch more Game Trailers   Burlesque Snake Bite (truTV) Keira Knightley Hotness (Maxim) Kurt Russel In Big Trouble (JackFM) The Best and Worst of Terry Gilliam (Nerve) A Breakdown of the Delorean (Clutch) Tahita Cora Hotness (Coed) Joe Paterno: Who Cares, Right? (FunnyCrave) A Star Wars AC/DC Mashup (DogAndPony) The Worst Comic Book Movies Of All Time (Guyism) 2011 Sturgis Biker Babes (PopCrunch) Girls Getting Wedgies (RegretfulMorning) Baby Loves Biggie (TheDailyWhat) Joe McHale: Sexiest Man Alive? (CampusSocialite) Out With Eva Mendes (DJMick) The Most Dangerous Race in the World (Heavy) Sherri Gulley Hotness (GorillaMask) Amy Childs Massive Knockers (HollywoodTuna) The Hottest Asian You’ve Ever Seen (DoubleViking) Billy Crystal: Your Oscar Host (FilmDrunk) Eiko Koike Hotness (CagePotato)

By:|November 11, 2011


ANDREAS GURSKY_Rhein II

This Picture Is Not Worth The $4,338,500 It Sold For At Auction

What you’re seeing above is a picture titled Rhein II, by renowned photographer Andreas Gursky. Of course, I’m only assuming he’s renowned because as far as I know Mr. Gursky has never taken a picture of two people having sex with horses, and those are the only pictures I enjoy viewing and place on my coffee tables in large-print form for my house guests to peruse as we discuss intellectual things. Like people that f*ck horses. This picture of one particular spot along the Rhein River, which flows from the eastern Swiss Alps to the North Sea coast in the Netherlands, sold for an incredible $4,338,500 at auction on November 8th, making it the most expensive picture in the world. I would like to thank Wikipedia for making it seem like I knew all that stuff about the Rhein River off the top of my head.

By:|November 11, 2011


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What Am I Doing Up This Early?

Seriously, why am I awake this early? There's no reason for it. The sun hasn't even come up. I've jolted my body out of its comfortable, natural state of slumber using one alarm clock with the most piercing, irritating sound known to man, and one cell phone alarm. I've hit snooze twice in a futile attempt to make it feel like I've actually got a good night's sleep. The snooze button -- the thing that gives me ten extra minutes with each hit. Ten minutes where I fall fast asleep again somehow, even deeper than I did all night, and I dream that I've woken up. When the alarm goes off again, I realize that in reality I haven't woken up, and I hit snooze again. When I wake up for the final time, it's barely light out. This is pretty damn stupid.

By:|November 11, 2011


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Bike Plant

The Fastest Way Down A Flight Of Stairs - Watch MoreFunny Videos   The Storm Chasing Schmucks (truTV) Keira Knightly Hotness (Maxim) The Worst Jack and Jill Reviews Ever (Ranker) Anti-Smoker Fail (FunnyCrave) Victorias Secret Fashion Show Hotness (Popoholic) Sexy Babes Without Lingerie (Linkiest) A Tumblr...Of Hot Chicks (BroBible) 8 Things That Sucks About Music Festivals (Guyism) Cousin Wanted A Booty Call (RegretfulMorning) Why Skyrim Will Be Better In Real Life (AdultSwim) Baby Likes Biggy (TheDailyWhat) Jessica Gomes Maxim Hotness (CelebSlam) GiGi Star Sexiness (GorillaMask) Billy Crystal for the Oscars! (FilmDrunk) 25 Epic Bus Ads (SuperBooyah) Herman Cain Imagines A Pizza-less World (IAmBored) Why The Muppets Should Host The Oscars (ScreenJunkies)  

By:|November 11, 2011


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Holytaco Buzz: Nigel Tufnel Day!

Forget Skyrim and weird Egyptian Pyramid Rituals, 11-11-11 is all about Nigel Tufnel.  If you don't know who Nigel Tufnel is...you're a failure to humanity.  Now go stuff a cucumber in your pants and celebrate.  That is all.

By:|November 11, 2011


twilight underwear

25 Weird Ass Kinds of Underwear (Mildly NSFW)

Underwear should be simple, normal and form fitting. It should not be preposterous.

By:|November 11, 2011


the-academy-awards

6 People We’d Rather See Hosting the Oscars than Billy Crystal

Let’s start this with a disclaimer; Billy Crystal is a great comedian. We’ve made some jokes about him hosting the Oscars on Twitter but that’s only because of two things; we make fun of everything and Billy Crystal hasn’t had a lead role in a film since 2002. But he has proven himself an adept host in the past and, given how many people just don’t work out as the host of the Oscars, he’s a safe bet all around. Still, in their panic to replace Eddie Murphy (who, guaranteed, would have been a terrible fit for the Oscars unless the orchestra played off overlong speeches with a tranny choir) tor Oscar people jumped to their safe zone too soon. There are other choices out there, and they deserve a shot at the gold.

By:|November 11, 2011


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The Morning Jolt – AC/DC Star Wars

It's Star Wars. And AC/DC. Nothing wrong with that.

By:|November 11, 2011