A few months ago I got a special pass at the San Diego Zoo, that grants you access to this behind the scenes tour. On the tour we stopped at the monkey cages, right as two dudes with cleaning supplies were outside two different monkey cages, about to go in and clean the cages they sat in front of. The monkeys in both cages were pretty quiet, and then all of a sudden a monkey in one of the cages stood in the center of his cage, stared right at the dude outside his cage with the cleaning supplies, and started flinging shit out of his hand as he spun around in a circle like a sprinkler. I bring this up because I imagine it’s a similar experience to be the cleaning person for Courtney Love. And by the way, she’s hiring , according to a post she left on her myspace blog.
“Is anyone insanely clean neatfreak near malibu? I need a non thieving non freaky housekeeper.”
If Courtney Love’s house is half as disgusting as Courtney Love, the only way I could justify cleaning it is if I was in an eighties movie and it was part of a montage where me and some friends were forced to clean it before our parents came home or something.
I like that she said she wanted a non freaky looking person, and just to the left of her post is a drawing of her naked with stars over her titties. She wants a non-thieving, non freaky looking person, meaning her last housekeeper was a thieving, freaky looking person?
We took a few weeks off from our “If They Had A Comic Book” Series, but we’re back with a bang. This week we take a look at how Disney has become incredibly efficient at monetizing Miley Cyrus. I’m going to go ahead and just say please send your hate mail to feedback@holytaco.com. The rest of you, enjoy our three page epic battle between Miley and Evil.
Sometimes when you love something a lot, the only way to really show that love is through a choreographed song and dance. I’ve been working on one for Yogurt and Green Onion Kettle Chips, but it’s not finished yet.
I really, really hope that the main dude in this video was like a bad ass break dancer who did a bunch of coke and banged a ton of chicks. Then one day during a break dance battle he lost his cool and killed a rival dancer who taunted him with a 360 head spin and a nut grab in his direction. Then in jail, a priest told him that God has given him the gift of being able to do the robot, and that that gift must be used for good, or to warm up crowds before the Shamu show at Sea World, but definitely not evil.
Where you’ve seen her:Charisma Carpenter was once a cheerleader for the San Diego Chargers. Then she scored the role of Cordelia in the hit television show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and its subsequent spin-off show, Angel. She’s been in Playboy (June, 2004) and is currently considering starring on The Apprentice: Celebrity Edition, so you might have at least one reason to watch that show.
Pointless quote: “I was a little turned off by the idea of [being cast as] another bitch. But my agent put it to me quite frankly, that you have to be known before you can be typecast.”
Today is Bill Murray’s Birthday. Let’s all celebrate by watching Ghostbusters at the same time. If everyone yells the “Dogs and cats living together” line in perfect synchronicity, I’m sure that Bill Murray will hear it, whether he’s hitting a fellow golfer in the face with a coke bottle, or partying with some scandinavian college kids. In the meantime, enjoy this fairly decent Ghostbusters tribute:
I saw a news article saying this had won some sort of lifetime achievement award for commercials or something. I don’t think it ever actually aired on television, but I remember everyone painfully trying to re-enact it for me before I had seen it. Anyway, I watched it again this morning and it still makes me laugh. Enjoy.
We do a lot of photoshop on this site. Some shitty, some…less shitty. But we love it regardless. So, we decided we’d see what you guys can do. Thus, we’re proud to introduce our first photoshop contest. The winners of the contest will receive a Holy Taco shirt, as well as some other prize. Cory was supposed to tell me what it was before he left on vacation this weekend, but he forgot. So, I know it’s going to be pretty good, I just won’t know what it is until he gets back from the indie rock festival he’s at. Yeah, that’s right. That’s where he’s gone on his vacation. Anyway, there’s a theme to the contest.
THEME: Where George Bush Is Going To Be Working When He Leaves Office
SUBMIT: Submit the Jpeg to feedback@holytaco.com. Try to make the size no bigger than 550 pixels wide, 1000 length.
This week’s winner came from our “What Would You Rather” poll that gave you the option of doing Debra Messing or owning a time machine. This particular poll stirred up quite the debate. I must say that the winning comment is one of the better we’ve had in this competition. This person is no fan of Debra Messing.
WINNER: Salad Days
COMMENT:
Salad Days Says:
September 14th, 2008 at 3:10 pm I didnt even read the captions before voting. I just thought it was do Debra Messing or own a chair. Frankly, I’d enjoy the chair much more.
Diablo Cody is upset. Apparently there are some people out there who absolutely hated Juno, and that just makes her want to kill their ugly faces. Luckily, Diablo (or “Devil” to our friends south of the border) is not prone to violence toward strangers. Instead, she’s chosen to attack her critics with her gift of prose. She wrote about the issue extensively on her Myspace blog earlier this week, and in her post she repeatedly berates the people who didn’t like Juno, and talks at length about how talented and successful she is. Here are some excerpts:
“..I’m sorry that while you were shooting your failed opus at Tisch, I was jamming toxic silicon toys up my ass for money.”
“…Incidentally, if you were me for one day you’d crumble like fucking Stilton. I am better at this than you.”
“…I can’t help it if your favorite writer, actor, director, or talk show host likes me.”
“…I know my name is fake and that it annoys you…but I like my fake name. It’s engraved on an Oscar. Yours isn’t.”
I wish that she would just write a movie about jamming toxic silicon toys up her ass, instead of focusing on angsty teenage youth. I guarantee nobody would complain about that movie. Instead, though, she claims to have written a screenplay about the single most boring aspect of her entire life: people hating her. I found a page of the aforementioned script in the gutter by my house (or possibly inside Diablo’s house). It looks like it’s only a draft because she’s marked it up with all kinds of notes to herself, but it’s still pretty shitty. Check it out:
Debate season is in full swing, so we thought it would be a good time to take a look back at some of the most notable blunders in presidential debate history.
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September 14th, 2008 at 3:10 pm I didnt even read the captions before voting. I just thought it was do Debra Messing or own a chair. Frankly, I’d enjoy the chair much more.