The internet is full of flash in the pan fads that no one remembers a month later such as Gangnam Style, the Harlem Shake, caring about Kony, planking, and twerking. How much longer will we endure twerking? Thanks to Miley Cyrus and some popular videos its life span has been extended, but it’s flame is flickering out and will soon die. So what can we hope to replace it with? These!
By:Ian Fortey|September 16, 2013
It’s Friday the 13th so watch out for guys in hockey masks who aren’t playing hockey – that shit is straight up bad news. But until your imminent demise, let’s check out the movies that open today. Oh, I’m so excited.
By:Ian Fortey|September 13, 2013
Do you ever check your town's police blotter? You should, because Lord knows what kind of terror occurs in right in your own backyard each and every day. Arms dealers, cannibals, nuclear gun slingers! It could be any or all of them. Here's 13 blotters detailing horrors you've never dreamed of! Shudder and reel in terror!
By:Ian Fortey|September 12, 2013
Michael Bay, Uwe Boll and Paul W.S. Anderson. Here are there greatest stories.
By:Ian Fortey|September 11, 2013
The race for mayor is New York is all over today. What will they say about Weiner?
By:Ian Fortey|September 10, 2013
This weekend I spent most of my time lying down in various states of agony or discomfort as everything inside my body tried to get out of my body thanks to a run in with some kind of sinister life form that turned my body into an unsanitary playground of vomit and groans.
By:Ian Fortey|September 9, 2013
It’s the beginning of September so hopefully we’re done with the August crapfest of movies like last week’s utter trash.
By:Ian Fortey|September 6, 2013
War? Poverty? Disease? Hunger? No. This. This is the most disgusting thing ever. I taste bile.
By:Ian Fortey|September 5, 2013
We've all heard of the Shocker, the Stranger, The Dirty Sanchez and the Cleveland Steamer, but there are countless others that were never elegant enough to make it into our every day lexicon. As a service to all and to honor those we've lost, here are 10 dirty maneuvers that never really caught on.
By:Ian Fortey|September 4, 2013
I have linoleum tile in my bathroom and I have a functioning bladder and ass bladder (sometimes called guts, sometimes called digestive tract). These two facts are mutually exclusive but came together in a harrowing way recently.
By:Ian Fortey|September 3, 2013
Labor Day is a day to celebrate labor and days. It’s a grand event and we’re all better off for it. Still, some people may not know how to enjoy Labor Day properly or, worse, they’re from a backward nation that doesn’t even have Labor Day. Whatever the reason you’re ill-equipped to handle today, here’s 25 things you should do.
By:Ian Fortey|September 2, 2013
Quick, before looking, name a movie that opens this week. Yeah, you can’t because jack shit opens this week. This is the weirdest thing ever. Usually there’s at least one movie every week that is the “big” release, you know? Not this week. Every movie is just a masterful turd that no one even bothered to advertise. Let’s look at the little shit storms anyway.
By:Ian Fortey|August 30, 2013
I sometimes wonder what it's like to be insane. I don't mean minor league insane, like my family, but big ol' crazy insane, like people who yell at pots and pans and hear voices and maybe try to build living meat statues for the Lord. So insane that the world in which you live is just indescribably different from the world in which the rest of us exist.
By:Ian Fortey|August 29, 2013
When I was in university, I went to a party one night at a friend’s house. It was a keg party, there were lots of people and I got so drunk I sat in the parking lot of the dry cleaner’s next door drooling such a massive puddle at my own feet people assumed I had thrown up.
By:Ian Fortey|August 28, 2013
By now you're aware that Miley Cyrus somehow both carefully and sloppily orchestrated a massive campaign to get everyone to talk about her ass. All it took was a mediocre song, creepy imagery and the worst wardrobe ever. And now I present to you, things that look like Miley Cyrus' ass.
By:Ian Fortey|August 27, 2013
Rumors have already begun swirling that Blizzard, grandaddy of MMO game playing and creators of World of Warcraft are going to release details of their 5th expansion to their hugely popular game this fall at Blizzcon.
By:Ian Fortey|August 26, 2013
Last week I cheaped you on reviews because, well, I was on vacation. I’m not doing this when I’m on vacation, why would I? So this week we’ll get back into the nitty gritty of judging movies based solely on their names and maybe their posters or commercials, if I’ve seen them. Totally valid form of film criticism.
By:Ian Fortey|August 23, 2013
In case you hadn’t heard, Timur Bekmambetov, the mad Russian behind Wanted and Night Watch, is producing a new film called Squirrels. It’s a horror movie. It’s about squirrels.
By:Ian Fortey|August 22, 2013
You may have noticed a stark lack of Taco for the past several days. Where have I been? Did I die? Was I fired? Was I sold into sex slavery? No! I was on vacation. I vacated! I rarely go on vacation, and just to be clear I have actually never gone on vacation from [...]
By:Ian Fortey|August 21, 2013
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