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25 Ideas For The Next Fad To Replace Twerking

The internet is full of flash in the pan fads that no one remembers a month later such as Gangnam Style, the Harlem Shake, caring about Kony, planking, and twerking. How much longer will we endure twerking? Thanks to Miley Cyrus and some popular videos its life span has been extended, but it’s flame is flickering out and will soon die. So what can we hope to replace it with? These!

By:|September 16, 2013


Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: September 13th

It’s Friday the 13th so watch out for guys in hockey masks who aren’t playing hockey – that shit is straight up bad news. But until your imminent demise, let’s check out the movies that open today. Oh, I’m so excited.

By:|September 13, 2013


13 Police Blotters To Make You Fear For Your Safety

Do you ever check your town's police blotter? You should, because Lord knows what kind of terror occurs in right in your own backyard each and every day. Arms dealers, cannibals, nuclear gun slingers! It could be any or all of them. Here's 13 blotters detailing horrors you've never dreamed of! Shudder and reel in terror!

By:|September 12, 2013


The 3 Greatest Film Adaptations Never Made

Michael Bay, Uwe Boll and Paul W.S. Anderson. Here are there greatest stories.

By:|September 11, 2013

Anthony Weiner

10 Headlines You Can Expect to See When Weiner Loses

The race for mayor is New York is all over today. What will they say about Weiner?

By:|September 10, 2013


25 Things I Experienced During my Bout of the Flu

This weekend I spent most of my time lying down in various states of agony or discomfort as everything inside my body tried to get out of my body thanks to a run in with some kind of sinister life form that turned my body into an unsanitary playground of vomit and groans.

By:|September 9, 2013


Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: September 6th

It’s the beginning of September so hopefully we’re done with the August crapfest of movies like last week’s utter trash.

By:|September 6, 2013


Literally the Worst Thing Ever

War? Poverty? Disease? Hunger? No. This. This is the most disgusting thing ever. I taste bile.

By:|September 5, 2013


10 Sexual Maneuvers That Never Caught On

We've all heard of the Shocker, the Stranger, The Dirty Sanchez and the Cleveland Steamer, but there are countless others that were never elegant enough to make it into our every day lexicon. As a service to all and to honor those we've lost, here are 10 dirty maneuvers that never really caught on.

By:|September 4, 2013


The Time I Got Trapped In The Bathroom

I have linoleum tile in my bathroom and I have a functioning bladder and ass bladder (sometimes called guts, sometimes called digestive tract). These two facts are mutually exclusive but came together in a harrowing way recently.

By:|September 3, 2013


25 Laborious Tasks To Engage In This Labor Day

Labor Day is a day to celebrate labor and days. It’s a grand event and we’re all better off for it. Still, some people may not know how to enjoy Labor Day properly or, worse, they’re from a backward nation that doesn’t even have Labor Day. Whatever the reason you’re ill-equipped to handle today, here’s 25 things you should do.

By:|September 2, 2013


Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: August 30th

Quick, before looking, name a movie that opens this week. Yeah, you can’t because jack shit opens this week. This is the weirdest thing ever. Usually there’s at least one movie every week that is the “big” release, you know? Not this week. Every movie is just a masterful turd that no one even bothered to advertise. Let’s look at the little shit storms anyway.

By:|August 30, 2013


10 Books for the Insane

I sometimes wonder what it's like to be insane. I don't mean minor league insane, like my family, but big ol' crazy insane, like people who yell at pots and pans and hear voices and maybe try to build living meat statues for the Lord. So insane that the world in which you live is just indescribably different from the world in which the rest of us exist.

By:|August 29, 2013


The Thrill of Outrage

When I was in university, I went to a party one night at a friend’s house. It was a keg party, there were lots of people and I got so drunk I sat in the parking lot of the dry cleaner’s next door drooling such a massive puddle at my own feet people assumed I had thrown up.

By:|August 28, 2013


Things That Miley Cyrus’ Butt Looks Like

By now you're aware that Miley Cyrus somehow both carefully and sloppily orchestrated a massive campaign to get everyone to talk about her ass. All it took was a mediocre song, creepy imagery and the worst wardrobe ever. And now I present to you, things that look like Miley Cyrus' ass.

By:|August 27, 2013


25 Ideas for the Next Warcraft Expansion

Rumors have already begun swirling that Blizzard, grandaddy of MMO game playing and creators of World of Warcraft are going to release details of their 5th expansion to their hugely popular game this fall at Blizzcon.

By:|August 26, 2013


Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: August 23rd

Last week I cheaped you on reviews because, well, I was on vacation. I’m not doing this when I’m on vacation, why would I? So this week we’ll get back into the nitty gritty of judging movies based solely on their names and maybe their posters or commercials, if I’ve seen them. Totally valid form of film criticism.

By:|August 23, 2013


The 4 Best Possible Plotlines for the Movie Squirrels

In case you hadn’t heard, Timur Bekmambetov, the mad Russian behind Wanted and Night Watch, is producing a new film called Squirrels. It’s a horror movie. It’s about squirrels.

By:|August 22, 2013


25 Things I Experienced on My Vacation in a Tourist Trap

You may have noticed a stark lack of Taco for the past several days.  Where have I been?  Did I die?  Was I fired?  Was I sold into sex slavery?  No!  I was on vacation.  I vacated! I rarely go on vacation, and just to be clear I have actually never gone on vacation from [...]

By:|August 21, 2013


Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: August 16th

Guess what? I'm on vacation. I'm not really going to see any of these movies this weekend because I will be in a casino up to my nuts in alcohol and terrible decisions. Hi-yo!

By:|August 16, 2013