Holytaco Buzz: Crystal Harris Auctions Hef’s Ring
Just when you couldn't get any more bitter with Crystal Harris cancelling her engagement to Hef, she breaks his heart yet again by auctioning off her (his) ring. The ring, a 3.39 carat diamond, will be auctioned off next month in New York for somewhere between 20 to 30k. According to Crystal, the ring signifies bad memories she wants to get rid of, memories like being engaged to an 85 year old and...being engaged to an 85 year old.
By:Noah G|September 30, 2011
25 of the Most Bizarre Looking Currencies in the World
There was a time when all money around the world was nothing but efficient and awesome coins. Then some artsy jokers came and ruined it with fancy paper and 3D shapes and vials of embedded water and sketches of squirrels and all manner of crap. Take a look.
By:Ian Fortey|September 30, 2011
5 Rare Fruits and Why You Haven’t Eaten Them
Have you ever eaten a Pawpaw? Probably not, and the reason is because, in the entire history of the United States, which has existed alongside this fruit, not a single person has bothered to farm it. Hundreds of years, this exotic fruit, that’s apparently delicious and good for you, has just been sitting around with its fruity thumb in its butt because no one cared enough to cultivate it. Or did they? Rumor has it native Americans used to greatly enjoy it and Thomas Jefferson grew it on his property back in the day, and even had seeds sent overseas so he could grow some while he was in France. Somewhat reminiscent of a mango, it’s very common across the US and some parts of Canada. So why has no one heard of it? Because they look like balls. Full on, unripened balls. Presentation isn’t always everything, but let’s face it, mother nature drops the ball sometimes and some fruit comes out looking and tasting like hobo heiney. And it doesn’t end with Pawpaw, the woods are full of ass fruits that health food stores may tell you are awesome, but your senses will shun like an adulteress at the market.
By:Ian Fortey|September 30, 2011
The Morning Jolt – Night of the Lepus Trailer
You'll be forgiven if you can't quite tell that this is a serious trailer for a horror movie about giant, killer rabbits, but that's absolutely what it is. And it stars Rory Calhoun! And this is why Netflix will always be relevant.
By:Ian Fortey|September 30, 2011
C:/ Imperial March
Floppy Drives Play Imperial March From Star Wars - Watch MoreFunny Videos Can You Feel Me? (truTV) Eva Longoria Hotness (Maxim) Zoey Deschanel Ruined My Sex Life (Nerve) Slo-Mo Balloon Explosion (JackFM) Sexy Sweater Kittens (Coed) The Hottest Polka Dot Bikini Ever (Linkiest) When NFL Linemen Dance (Clutch) The Hottest Celebrity Sisters of all time (PopCrunch) Proof We’re All Internet Wusses (FunnyCrave) Rooney Leaving 60 Minutes (TheDailyWhat) Jesus Camp In Singapore (DogAndPony) Sivan Krispin Hotness (DJMick) What Your Facial Hair Says About You (Guyism) Sagia Castenadeda Bikini Hotness (TheCampusSocialite) What’s Wrong About CSI? (RegretfulMorning) Classic Minimalist Movie Posters (ForkParty) Anna Kendrick Hotness (MoeJackson) The Greatest English Fails of All Time (Heavy) Layla Hotness (GorillaMask) Epic Pug Photos (EgoTV) Nicola McLeans Underboob Hotness (HollywoodTuna) Hottie Doing Laundry (DoubleViking) Lionsgate Video Game Movies (FilmDrunk) Dan Henderson Is Getting Nervous (CagePotato)
By:Noah G|September 29, 2011
A Sneak Peek At Hallmark’s Greeting Cards For The Unemployed
When you’re unemployed and struggling to scrape together some cash to do anything, the last thing you need is a Hallmark card trying to cheer you up. And that’s exactly what Hallmark is trying to do. With employment being so high, Hallmark is taking this opportunity to release a line of cards sympathetic to the unemployed, in case you want to be the unlucky asshole that gets punched in the neck by a guy that was fired from his job 8 months ago and still can’t find a job to support his family. We managed to get a sneak peak at some of the new cards. Let’s see what kind of cards you may have coming in the mail soon. Oh, what’s that? You’re currently employed? Ha! Yeah…about that…
By:Luis Prada|September 29, 2011
Holy Taco’s Video of the Day – Disney Flash Mob Proposal
Downtown Disney Flash Mob Proposal - Watch MoreFunny Videos Remember that time you proposed to your girlfriend at a Burger King? Yeah...
By:Ian Fortey|September 29, 2011
Modern Nostalgia: Flying Toaster Screensaver
There was a time when people used screensavers. For a while there you couldn’t walk in to a person’s house without seeing a computer monitor with bright green matrix coding dripping down, as if this person were keeping tabs on a dangerous mission he sent his girlfriend on, instead of just lazily hiding the decoupage blog he studies religiously. But before the streams of green coding were all the rage, there was a toaster with wings. And that sentence would blow a 18th century time traveler’s mind.
By:Luis Prada|September 29, 2011
5 Ways To Celebrate National Coffee Day
Today is National Coffee Day! Today is the day you celebrate the very thing that keeps you awake and able to celebrate it! It's the second most valuable commodity in the world. The only thing more sought after and fought over is oil. Makes sense. People all over the world drink it, and if they don't get it, they get cranky. So today, you're obligated to honor the bean that makes mornings more tolerable. How are you going to do that? We've got a few suggestions...
By:Jim Tews|September 29, 2011
Dubcereal
Awesome Dubstep Cereal Commercial - Watch MoreFunny Videos Bobby, light my fire (truTV) Agnes Olech Hotness (Maxim) Sex Advice from Nick Kroll (Nerve) The Safest Games to Play at Work (Coed) The Classiest Cover Songs of all Time (JackFM) A Guide to the Gov’t Shutdown (FunnyCrave) Simon Cowell Pays Alimony to GF (PopCrunch) What’s with Drake’s New Album? (Clutch) Tattoo Baby WTF! (RegretfulMorning) The Moneyballplex (DogandPony) Bikini Girl Hotness (Linkiest) Awful Tweets from Anthony Jeselnik (CampusSocialite) Meet Surf Dog (TheDailyWhat) Adrianne Curry Sexiness (DJMick) Epic Advertising Blunders (ForkParty) Kesha/Minecraft Mashup (MoeJackson) Online Dating Tips for Men (Heavy) Hot Girls Named Layla (GorillaMask) Demi Lovato’s Slutty Sex Show (CelebJihad) Soccer is really F-ing Weird (EgoTV) Ashley Greene and her Cleavage (HollywoodTuna) Sexiest Babe You’ll See Today (DoubleViking) Seagal at UFC Weekend (FilmDrunk) Spike TV Hardball (CagePotato)
By:Noah G|September 29, 2011
25 Butt Ugly Muppets
Jim Henson's creations, the Muppets, are straight up awesome and always have been. Except for a few of the lame ducks on Sesame Street. But that aside, Henson had a strange talent for making creations that were either immensely charming or like shag-carpet nightmares of ugly. This gallery is for the latter.
By:Ian Fortey|September 29, 2011
The Morning Crap – Human Centipede 2 Trailer
Normally we post one video in the morning but this trailer just came out and we'd be remiss if we didn't share it. Not because we want you to see this movie, if anything IFC should be ashamed to have their name on this half-baked turd cake of a PR stunt movie, but because this is leaps and bounds beyond anything I ever expected. Is the star of this movie an albino Grimace? Is that therapist Amish? Did that guy's mother ever attend an acting class? Is there any conceivable chance this movie doesn't suck harder than physics tells us things can suck? And if anyone does like this movie, isn't that a good indication that that person has faulty genetics? Watch and wonder!
By:Ian Fortey|September 29, 2011
Ghosts in the Machine: 6 Spooks that Haunt You Through Technology (and How to Overcome Them)
The Caller just dropped on DVD and it features True Blood's Bill Compton and a Twilight vampire doing nothing vampiric whatsoever, however they are being haunted by one of those phone calling ghosts. Unsurprisingly, it looks like ghosts have upgraded along with the rest of us and now rely on technology to hunt down victims because walking sucks, even when you’re a ghost. If you find yourself in this predicament, you’re going to need to know how to handle yourself because phone ghosts totally want you killed dead. All technology ghosts want you killed dead. You need to know what you’re up against and how to kick its phone calling, TV haunting, car driving, laundry pressing, hair growing ass.
By:Ian Fortey|September 29, 2011
The Morning Jolt – Who the Hell Named a Daddy Longlegs?
I wasn't going to post this until I got to the part where he asks "how does Daddy Longlegs make a life?" and I have to be honest, I can't answer that question at all.
By:Ian Fortey|September 29, 2011
City Council Troll
"Mike Hunt" Prank At LA City Council - Watch MoreFunny Videos Can You Feel Me? (truTV) Eva Longoria Hotness (Maxim) Zoey Deschanel Ruined My Sex Life (Nerve) Slo-Mo Balloon Explosion (JackFM) Sexy Sweater Kittens (Coed) The Hottest Polka Dot Bikini Ever (Linkiest) When NFL Linemen Dance (Clutch) The Hottest Celebrity Sisters of all time (PopCrunch) Proof We’re All Internet Wusses (FunnyCrave) Rooney Leaving 60 Minutes (TheDailyWhat) Jesus Camp In Singapore (DogAndPony) Sivan Krispin Hotness (DJMick) What Your Facial Hair Says About You (Guyism) Sagia Castenadeda Bikini Hotness (TheCampusSocialite) What’s Wrong About CSI? (RegretfulMorning) Classic Minimalist Movie Posters (ForkParty) Anna Kendrick Hotness (MoeJackson) The Greatest English Fails of All Time (Heavy) Layla Hotness (GorillaMask) Epic Pug Photos (EgoTV) Nicola McLeans Underboob Hotness (HollywoodTuna) Hottie Doing Laundry (DoubleViking) Lionsgate Video Game Movies (FilmDrunk) Dan Henderson Is Getting Nervous (CagePotato)
By:Noah G|September 28, 2011
Andy Rooney Out of Context
America's most loved curmudgeon, Andy Rooney, recently announced that he'll be retiring his segment on CBS's 60 Minutes. So who will provide a voice for the elderly and stubborn! That remains to be seen. In the meantime, watch this mashup of Andy Rooney saying Andy Rooney things, completely out of order and context.
By:Jim Tews|September 28, 2011
Probably the Best Vibrator Commercial Ever
Like us, you probably watch a lot of vibrator commercials when you're flipping between Two and a Half Men and CSI: Gary, Indiana and every single one of those vibrator commercials is more ridiculous than the next. But for the first time ever, someone has the balls to make a vibrator commercial that speaks to what we're all feeling - can I take this vibrator on a boat ride? And can you show me someone fingering some pottery? Yes. We can.
By:Ian Fortey|September 28, 2011
3 Things Andy Rooney Can Do Now That He’s Leaving 60 Minutes
For those that don’t know, Andy Rooney is a talking head on the number one rated show among people dying in hospices, 60 Minutes. He doesn’t do much of anything on the show other than use the two or three minutes the show’s producers are contractually obligated to set aside for him at the end of every episode to ramble and complain like the withering old coot he looks like. It sounds terrible, and it usually is, but it’s extremely entertaining. If you ever wanted to see someone that perfectly embodied the stereotype of the crazy old guy in the neighborhood that sits on his porch screaming about how he doesn’t understand Nintendos and Emails and Twitters, Andy Rooney is the place to go for all your crazy old man needs. He’s the closest thing to the old man from Up that is legally allowed on television. Well, he was. At the tender age of 92, Andy Rooney is calling it quits. No longer will we young folk be able to watch a long Sunday of football on CBS and chase it down with an old man’s diatribes about how the modern world frightens him. Clearly, this is sad news for all of us. But we don’t want to see Andy leave. So we compiled this list of things Andy can do without strictly adhering to the editorial structure of 60 Minutes.
By:Luis Prada|September 28, 2011
Capri-sun Win
Awesome Mom: Caprisun Bong - Watch MoreFunny Videos Meet The Weed Preacher (truTV) Space Junk Near Misses (Maxim) First World Problems Chart (Ranker) Brief Guide To The Red Sox Nation (FunnyCrave) Vanessa Hudgens Is Sexy Doing Everything (Popoholic) How To Become a Neon Rider (AdultSwim) 5 Ways We Can Love Lindsay Lohan Again (TheSmokingJacket) 20 Perfectly Timed Photos (RegretfulMorning) The Most Manly Vacation Destinations (Guyism) This Weeks Hottie Index…(BroBible) Sam Worthington On The Ledge (FilmDrunk) What It’s Like To Be Elmo (TheDailyWhat) Fergies Hot Wax Statue (CelebSlam) Laura Lee Sexiness (GorillaMask) The Funniest Relationship Texts Of All Time (SuperBooyah) Human Centipede 2 Is Incredibly Boring (ScreenJunkies)
By:Noah G|September 28, 2011
25 Crazy Hybrid Movie Monsters
It's hard to come up with a good horror villain; that's why so many movies rely on an idiot who wears a mask. Its not because you're legitimately afraid of being murdered by an unkillable hockey player, it's because horror movie script writers are often very dense. That's why, when it comes to monsters, sometimes the best solution is to just take two things that already exist and mash them together to make one new monster. Yes, this gallery was inspired by Sharktopus. God bless his tentacley hide.
By:Ian Fortey|September 28, 2011
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