Pam Anderson To Retire…In Five Years

Pam Anderson announces in five years, she’s going to retire.

Hmmm. File this under, “For the love of God someone please pay attention to me.” It makes me sad to see Pam Anderson get old. It’s like watching one of the old monkeys at the zoo who can’t fling his poo anymore because of arthritis.

But Pam’s not washed up.

“I get offers to do movies and TV all the time. I say no to everything. It drives my agent crazy.”

What movies? Specify these so-called offers! You took a job working weekends at the Hard Rock as a magicians assistant. I think they also offered that gig to the valet attendant at the Palms but he declined, saying, “Eh, I got a good thing going with the car parking.”