It's not everyday you get sent a partial compendium of Latvian humor jokes, but today is my lucky day. Chris Connolly and Ky Henderson, who have proclaimed themselves the "Ministers of Latvian Humorological Joke Society of Latvia," were kind enough to send HolyTaco some of Latvia's most well-loved jokes. And as you'll be able to see, the Latvians really love a good joke.
Joke: Latvian: Is so cold. All: How cold is? Latvian: Very. Also dark.
Joke: Three men are in ship. One Latvian, one Russian, one Lithuanian. Lithuanian take out one bottle wodka. Russian kill Lithuanian, then drink wodka. Then Latvian wait until Russian drink self to sleep, then kill. Is end.
Joke: A fishmonger says to a bootblack, "Are there any more potato left?" Bootblack says, "Yes, one. But it has gone bad." The fishmonger says, "I am very hungry. I have not eaten for three days. I shall eat it, even if it makes me very ill." And bootblack says, "I did not speak truth. In reality, there is no food left. You shall go hungry yet another day, my friend."
Joke: Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have sent Siberia! “More bread for me,” man think. But bread have worm.
Joke: Janis: I hope my son does not die during night. Guntis: What is "hope"? Janis: Yes. I know what you say. Guntis: No. I am serious. What is hope? Janis: In truth, I do not know.
Joke: Knock knock Who’s there? Latvian. Latvian who? Please open door. Is cold.
Joke: Latvian walk into bar with poodle under one arm and salami under other. Eat salami first.
Joke: How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? Only one. Obtain light bulb is hard part. You have potato?
Joke: Latvian is rub lamp find genii. Genii say, “What is three wishes?” Latvian say, “I wish potato!” Then, POOF! Potato! Latvian so happy! “Oh! Is potato! Is potato!” say Latvian. Genii ask, “What is next wish?” Latvian is say, “I wish you go away so can enjoy potato!” POOF! Too bad. Also, was only lamp.
Joke: What are one potato say other potato? Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
Joke: Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already rape by soldier.
Joke: How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.
Joke: Three Latvian are brag about sons. “My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want,” say first Latvian. “Zo?” second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!” Third Latvian wait long time, then say, “My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over.” “Wow! You are win us,” say others. But all are feel sad.
One Armenian comes to a market and say - I sell this good dinja (a watermelon) for 300 armenian money.
The second Armenian come and say - I buy it. But only with your wife.
High five. This great movie joke. Nice.
they never found body of the first armenian. Great success.
It's Ukraine not Ukrainia and, if I didn't think they'd get me fired, I'd use some of these jokes to end my Cold War unit next week. "But all are feel sad" FTW.
(57 Comments)
Twitter
Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
February 15th, 2009 at 03:52 am
You sir...are a homo. HUMOR!
February 20th, 2009 at 04:02 pm
It sure is, fag.
February 14th, 2009 at 02:01 pm
A.. I know one
One Armenian comes to a market and say - I sell this good dinja (a watermelon) for 300 armenian money.
The second Armenian come and say - I buy it. But only with your wife.
High five. This great movie joke. Nice.
they never found body of the first armenian. Great success.
February 14th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
It's Ukraine not Ukrainia and, if I didn't think they'd get me fired, I'd use some of these jokes to end my Cold War unit next week. "But all are feel sad" FTW.
February 16th, 2009 at 07:13 pm
It make me bored.Like my father call me this morning to kill the little fish kids.I can't put my finger in its stomach.SSS
February 24th, 2009 at 11:29 am
The bootblack/fishmonger one is great. I'm using that saying on my kids when I steal their snacks.
June 14th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
I thought they were very funny. I don't get the SS poster at the header though?
Post new comment