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People Who Make Their Race Look Bad

Stereotypes are some of the most difficult things to overcome for any race. Every time you think your people start making some headway, someone has to mess it up for everybody. Well, we think it’s about time every race got their own publicist and started putting a gag order on some of their members, cause letting these people parade around like they represent all of us is the last thing we need. Here’s a list of who we’d make sure was never allowed anywhere near a camera.

ITALIANS

ANYONE FROM GROWING UP GOTTI

Any show that features a family of someone in the mafia arguing over who’s been stealing who’s hair gel, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say probably doesn’t bring a large sense of pride to Italians.

JERSEY SHORE KIDS
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These kids have managed to make covering yourself in orange an Italian stereotype. Not only that, but they insist on showing these tans by taking photos every time they get near an automobile worth more than 23,000 dollars and posting it on the internet for all to see

ARABS

OSAMA BIN LADEN

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Well, there’s the whole responsible for 9/11 thing that caused every person with a beard to have to get to the airport 4 hours before their flight. But to top it off, he puts out video after video calling for the murder of anyone from the western world. He’s like an evil lonely girl 15, except he doesn’t give nerds hope that they might one day get laid by an attractive woman, which in and of itself is also fairly evil.

MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD

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It’s bad enough when people deny the holocaust ever happened, but it reaches another level when you hold a convention for those people that features a brunch and lectures. Just when you think tensions between Jews and the middle east are getting better, he calls for Israel to be “wiped off the map. That’s like if your neighbor was letting his lawn get too unruly and you politely spoke to him and smoothed it over, then your roommate went over there and called his wife a dirty whore. There’s not really any going back from a statement like that.

AFRICAN AMERICANS

DMX

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All you need to know about why DMX shouldn’t be allowed near a camera or reporter, is this interview:

XXL Magazine: Are you following the presidential race?
DMX: Not at all.

You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.
Barack?!

Barack.
What the f*** is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?

Yeah.
What the f***?! That ain’t no f***in’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the f*** outta here.

FLAVOR FLAV

I’m pretty sure performers from 1920s minstrel shows would find Flavor of Love offensive. Not only does he butcher the English language, he does so proudly. Not to mention, one of his catch phrases consists of simply saying his own name: “Flaaavor fllaaaaaaaav!, while wearing a gigantic clock and Viking helmet.

CAUCASIANS

JEFF SKILLING
jeff skilling people make race look bad

The guy almost single-handedly f-ed thousand and thousands of people out of their retirements and savings to make himself more rich—which basically reinforced everyone’s thinking that big corporations are filled with slimy piece of shit old white dudes looking to screw over as many little people as possible. Not to mention, there’s about a million photos of him and various fat, white, and slimy congressmen floating around, which instills lots of confidence in our elected officials.

LARRY THE CABLE GUY
larry the cable guy

First of all, the guy is from Nebraska yet he puts on an accent like he lives in the mountains of Arkansas and bangs his cousin inside a hollowed out deer carcass. But it’s not the cut-off flannel shirt and trucker hat that give Caucasians a bad name. It’s him standing in front of 10000 people at a show and saying stuff like:

The Republicans had a muslim give the opening prayer at there (sic) convention! What the hell’s going on around here! Is Muslim now the official religion of the United States!… First these peckerheads fly planes into towers and now theys (sic) prayin’ before conventions! People say not all of ‘em did that and I say who gives a rats fat ass!

When you’re the race responsible for enslaving a people as recent as 150 years ago, maybe we shouldn’t be giving the “who gives a rat’s ass comment about an entire ethnic group.

IRISH

COLIN FARRELL

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It’s almost as if before Colin Farrell does any interview he looks at a checklist of Irish stereotypes and says to himself, “Drunk: check. Obnoxious: check. Cursing at inappropriate times: check. Alrighty, let’s get a camera on me ya f&*king homos.

LUCKY CHARMS CEREAL GUY

You can’t watch a Saturday morning cartoon without seeing an ad for the cereal featuring Lucky, pleading with you to not steal his lucky charms like a drunken IRA member. You halfway expect him to strap a bomb to a Volkswagon and park it in front of the fort where the children make their marshmallow stealing plans.

SHANE MCGOWAN

Living the life of a drunken Irish stereotype, the Pogues lead singer has thrown up on fans, lost most of his teeth to alcoholism and been kicked out of his own band for being drunk. If the Irish don’t want to be thought of as drunken louts, then they should keep Shane away from the public and out of the pub forever.

JEWS

WOODY ALLEN

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Let’s see, he’s incredibly neurotic, whiny, and self loathing, but what really puts him over the top is that he bangs his adopted daughter. And since that in no way derailed movie studios from allowing him to make more films, it succeeded in making everyone assume there must be some sort of Jewish Conspiracy because normally f-ing your adopted daughter is a career ender.

AL GOLDSTEIN

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Every time there’s any kind of scandal, this disgusting blob goes on any media outlet that’ll put him on…but he’ll only talk about how the country owes him something because he was the first guy to put a picture of a penis being inserted into a vagina in a magazine. As an added bonus, he describes himself as a “member of the press. Al Goldstein calling himself a member of the press is like Brian Scalabrine calling himself a member of the Celtics.

LATINOS

OZZIE GUILLEN

Every time he’s upset, someone sticks a camera in his face and he more than happily says stuff like this:

“The Cubs haven’t won in [100] years, and they’re the [bleeping] best. [Bleep] it, we’re good. [Bleep] everybody. We’re horse[bleep], and we’re going to be horse[bleep] the rest of our lives, no matter how many World Series we win.

Quotes like that are always helpful when the nation is dealing with the influx of latino immigrants. I’m pretty sure the minute men tap a picture of his face before they grab their rifles and sit on the border.

CARLOS MENCIA

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It’s one thing to do racial humor that points out the differences between ethnic groups. It’s quite another to make the entirety of your act those kind of jokes that you stole from other comedians. Not only that, but at some point he figured he probably needed to seem more Hispanic since he was going to make fun of hispanics, so he changed his first name from Ned to Carlos. I guess that makes jokes about picking strawberries in a field more funny.

ASIAN AMERICANS

LONG DUC DONG

He’s out of a 1940s propaganda film. The fact someone created a character whose whole schtick is that he says “L like an “R and does nothing else, is quite a feat.

WILLIAM HUNG

At least Long Duc Dong was a character in a movie, and thus not real. Now every time there’s a new American Idol, Asian people have to sit and watch reruns of his horrific “She Bangs.

45 Responses to "People Who Make Their Race Look Bad"

  1. I have one other bit of bad news: slavery still exists. Im pretty sure its found in parts of Africa which is actually the same continent whose inhabitants started selling each other to outsiders oddly enough. But slavery is still around.

  2. 2Cents says:

    Slavery shouldn’t get every one all hyped up it was very common back then. Hell least they got to be out in the sun and fresh air and didn’t get stuck in a coal mine like slaves in other country’s or diamond mines like the new generation of African slaves.

    Segregation is the only thing African Americans get to bitch out , and I only say bitch because if your Christian then you should have heard of the whole sons not being accountable for the sins of the father bit and for me to be accountable it would be for the sins of my father’s father’s father’s dad who prolly didn’t even own a slave.

  3. SpursMike says:

    Carlos Mencia is not even Hispanic! He’s Polish!

  4. Pratik says:

    What’s with all the stigma about calling someone a black person? I think it’s because of these jack-offs who, when they are telling a story, feel like they MUST inform you that they interacted with a black person like it’s a fuckin accomplishment. “So I was at the grocery store today and I asked this clerk for help (she was black)…” I hate shit like that. Does that person being black affect the story at all? You never say “Oh I met this one guy today (he was Asian).” Only if they’re black or possibly gay.

    These are the same people that recycle their garbage, jog with their dog, and listen to Steely Dan.

    P.S. I got two compliments on an anonymous internet message board, and I didn’t even write the main article? That is legendary.

    P.P.S. High Life Man: fuck your dip, fuck your chips… and fuck everybody now that I think about it.

  5. KeeblerKahn says:

    If that Jersey shore kid in the middle really looks like that, someone need to hold an intervention. How can you look like that and think you look good?

  6. Hey, my family is Irish and own a construction company. We love our merrymaking stereotype! Party on Shane but do see a dentist!

  7. Jackhandy says:

    Umm where the hell is Micheal Moore? or Rev Wright? you missed a few stellar jack asses

  8. jeebus says:

    hey Alan you idiot. You need to learn history instead of taking a black guys word. Tribes captured men from other tribes in Africa and sold them as slaves all over the world. To the europeans, Americans, Spaniards etc. It was a far better fate than to be skinned alive and eaten. I certainly don’t advocate any type of slavery, but I also don’t advocate being a complete moron like you are. Pretentious know-nothings like you should have been aborted.

  9. MT says:

    The East indians stereotype sounded more like the jews

  10. CB says:

    I thought Larry the Cable guy was from Sanford, FL. I live near there, trust me…..it’s as redneck as it gets.

  11. alan says:

    jeebus wtf are you on about? :S

    I certainly don’t advocate any type of slavery, but I also don’t advocate being a complete moron like you are. Pretentious know-nothings like you should have been aborted.

    and saying stuff like that doesnt make you look like a bigger moron lol
    cool off little virgin

  12. walrus says:

    A persians an arab. that’s obvious.

    and Irish people are caucasian; but apparentley deserve their own category anyway.

    Shane Macgowan’s the shit.

  13. this guy says:

    the goombah in the middle looks like a fucking oompa-loompa

  14. Tony says:

    SpursMike Says:

    May 6th, 2008 at 7:52 am
    Carlos Mencia is not even Hispanic! He’s Polish!

    Carlos Mencia was born in San Pedro Sula, Honduras. His mother, Magdelena Mencia is from Mexico and his father, Roberto Holness, from Honduras. He’s Spanish, not Polish…but speaking of the Polish people, are they still considered stupid like you? If you don’t like the guy, then say you don’t like the guy…but don’t be retarded…Di Di Di

  15. Know All says:

    Don’t confuse race with religion. They are two different things.

  16. Raz says:

    Lol
    neither of the 2 Ppl posted under “arabs” were arabs…
    one was an afghan the other a persian

  17. Himm says:

    You people arguing on here over this dumb shit need to get a life. Who fucking cares????

  18. james says:

    whoever did this is and idiot…

  19. ash says:

    persians arent arab dumbass

  20. La Verdad says:

    you forgot Bill O’Reilly. he embodies everything dispicable, obnoxious, slanderous and nauseating about white people

  21. nick says:

    @Tony

    Umm…Carlos Mencia isn’t SPANISH if he’s born in HONDURAS with a MEXICAN mother. you’re an idiot. And the f-ing “Di-Di-Di” shit is probably the lamest catch phrase in existence, and that includes shit coming out of Paris Hiltons mouth.

  22. Anamika says:

    Being from Austin, whenever I see pictures of kids with those fake tans, at first I think they are just big UT fans. And then I realize they aren’t and get very depressed.

  23. M says:

    It is true that both Osama and Ahmadinejad are not Arab. Problem is that many people assume that they are Arab simply because they are from the middle east.

    While this does not excuse the mistake/misprinting, it does mean that Osama’s and Ahmadinejad’s actions reflect badly on Arabs due to the ignorance of those judging them.

  24. . says:

    Bin Laden IS an Arab. He was born in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. Fools.

  25. javinerd says:

    Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is Persian, not Arab. Arabs speak Arabic and Persians speak Farsi. Before you post something about ethnic/racial steroetypes, you should at least do a little home work don’t you think?

  26. Anonymous says:

    ya wheres the brown ppl huh?, u make fun of everyone else u cant make fun of us, fuck you

  27. Anonymous says:

    Persians are white. They are not Arab. How is that “6 to one half a dozen to the other.” That’s like saying Tony Blair is German simply because he lives in Europe.

  28. Anonymous says:

    6 of one- half dozen of another

  29. Mr. Balls says:

    That guido picture has got to be touched up. No one can be that orange.

  30. alan says:

    “When you’re the race responsible for enslaving a people as recent as 150 years ago, maybe we shouldn’t be giving the “who gives a rat’s ass comment about an entire ethnic group.”

    always nice to hear americans talk about stuff like this

  31. BobMikki says:

    @Mr. Balls ,
    Dude I live in Long Island , you would be surprised at how orange, some guidos are.

  32. Pratik says:

    You forgot East Indians. Being an East Indian myself, I’ve seen so many damn walking stereotypes every day it’s not funny.

    Here are some examples…
    1. Going to a baseball game on $1 hot dog night, standing in the humongous line from the 2nd to the 8th inning for these POS hot dogs, and acting like you had a good time because you saved a little money.
    2. When at a store, giving the sales clerk a bad look when they won’t price-match a cell phone that you supposedly saw on cheapassbastards.com for 90% off.
    3. When there’s Raisin Bran on sale you buy out the entire store’s stock of it, come back later in the day, and then get a rain check for some more.
    4. Unwilling to make an very very veyr very important call because it’ll cost minutes on the cell phone plan.
    5. Stealing the salt and pepper shakers, a mountain of napkins, and the plastic forks and knives packets from McDonalds after buying a $1 chicken sandwich as an excuse to be there.
    6. Complaining about how everything is sooooo expensive while on a vacation in freaking HAWAII and then staying inside your hotel room and watching TV all day out of spite.

  33. AlcoLOL says:

    Pratik blew my humor fuse. Hilarious man. Just as funny as this article. And nice job guys, couldn’t have done in any more detail.

  34. The High Life Man says:

    I’m drunk and it’s Monday. Pratik. Fuck off. I hate you. I hate you so much. Now get me some dip. Thank you in advance – The High Life Man

  35. Setting it right says:

    First thing is first. If you’re gonna lump people into categories, let’s do it right. Ahmedinajad isn’t Arab. He’s Persian. Persians are different from Arab. I’m certainly not defending the guy but let’s get our shit together, HT. Grouping Persians under the extremist Arab category is (by a stretch) part of bin Laden’s strategy. Stop helping the terrorists…

  36. goose says:

    HT you do have some gems on this list, but man you opened the door for ignorant ass people like hehe to post comments that include totally offensive racial epithets.

  37. David says:

    I hate to break it to the genius who wrote this but Ahmadinejad is not ARAB. Hes PERSIAN which makes him about as much ARAB as Bush is Mexican.

  38. Anonymous says:

    Mahmoud Ahamadinejad is not an Arab. He is Iranian. They are Caucasian. I get so tired of this generalization.

  39. Anonymous says:

    Iranians are Caucasian. really. really???!?!!! I think my keyboard just exploded from the indignity of having to type this reply to correct you.

    because you are RETARDED. and very very WRONG. do you know where Iran is? idiot.

  40. MACGowan says:

    fact check…ever?

  41. pete says:

    What about the super mario bros? That shit is hilariously stereotypical towards italians…and like every pizza joint in the world that claims to b authentic…if they had a black guy endorsing fried chicken and it was owned by a white guy theyd call foul…but every pizza place can hav sum mustached italian speaking like a fuckin goonball

  42. JDCAce says:

    RE: alan

    Unlike Ahmadinejad, Americans don’t deny the crappy stuff they did.

  43. nuby says:

    mencia is a fuckin homo.
    I heard he duct tapes his nuts to his ass crack.

  44. Dan says:

    nice work. as an irishman i just want to comment that Shane McGowan is actually from London, he’s not irish (though his parents are).