If the title of this terrifies you, it should, it’s a terrifying subject. But more importantly, it’s an important subject. Your pet tells the entire world what kind of sexer you are. Thought we were going in a different direction? Well you’re just a sickie, aren’t you?
Using highly smart and deeply smarter methods, scienticians have developed a method of gauging one’s sexual prowess based entirely upon the pet they possess. Multiple pet owners are, of course, deranged and unstable and should not be trifled with. Go get a pencil and paper and use the chart to see where you fit in.