Say what you will about PeTA, but their president, Ingrid Newkirk, just posted her will and testament online and I think everyone has to admit, it's pretty awesome. To make her point that animals are people, too, she wants her corpse to be treated like she's a piece of livestock. Which means she wants her "meat" to be barbecued, her skin turned into leather, and her "pointing finger" be delivered to Ringling Brothers to stand as "The Greatest Accusation On Earth." Here are some of the highlights:
a. That the “meat” of my body, or a portion thereof, be used for a human barbecue, to remind the world that the meat of a corpse is all flesh, regardless of whether it comes from a human being or another animal, and that flesh foods are not needed;
b. That my skin, or a portion thereof, be removed and made into leather products, such as purses, to remind the world that human skin and the skin of other animals is the same and that neither is “fabric” nor needed, and that some skin be tacked up outside the Indian Leather Fair each year to serve as a reminder of the government’s need to abate the suffering of Indian bullocks who, after a life of extreme and involuntary servitude, as I have seen firsthand, are exported all over the world in this form;
d. That one of my eyes be removed, mounted, and delivered to the administrator of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency as a reminder that PETA will continue to be watching the agency until it stops poisoning and torturing animals in useless and cruel experiments; that the other is to be used as PETA sees fit;
e. That my pointing finger be delivered to Kenneth Feld, owner of Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, or to a circus museum to stand as the “Greatest Accusation on Earth” on behalf of the countless elephants, lions, tigers, bears, and other animals who have been kidnapped from their families and removed from their homelands in India, Thailand, Africa, and South America and deprived of all that is natural and pleasant to them, abused, and forced into involuntary servitude for the sake of cheap entertainment;
f. That my liver be vacuum-packed and shipped, in whole or in part, to France, to there be used in a public appeal to persuade shoppers not to support the vile practice of force-feeding geese and ducks for foie gras;
g. That one of my ears be removed, mounted, and sent to the Canadian Parliament to assist them in hearing, for the first time perhaps, the screams of the seals, bears, raccoons, foxes, and minks bludgeoned, trapped, and sometimes skinned alive for their pelts; that the other ear be removed, preserved, and displayed outside the Deonar abattoir in Mumbai to remind all who do business there that the screams of the cattle who are slaughtered within its walls are heard around the world;
h. That one of my thumbs be removed, mounted upwards on a plaque, and sent to the person or institution that, in the year of my death or thereabouts, PETA decides has done the most to promote alternatives to the use and abuse of animals in any area of their exploitation;
i. That one of my thumbs be mounted in a downward position and sent to the person or institution that, in the year of my death or thereabouts, has gone against the changing tide of societal opinion and frightened and hurt animals in some egregious manner;
j. That a little part of my heart be buried near the racetrack at Hockenheim, preferably near the Ferrari pits, where Michael Shumacher raced in and won the German Grand Prix;
k. That anything else be done with my body that PETA believes will serve to draw attention to and so abate the plight of exploited animals.
PeTA does some stupid shit, but cutting up your body and sending it to your enemies (as well as using it to salute thos who agree with you) puts this is up there with Hunter S. Thompson's will that requested he be shot out of a cannon.
Tests have shown that plants "react" to the death or trauma of other plants in their vicinity. Would love to hear Peta parse words over that. Something has to die for something else to live. No exception.
I suggest that she also have her anus cored out, post-humus, and have it fashioned into a ring that must be kissed by all who wish to be members of Peta.
That's always my argument, that plants are living things also, and that something has to die for us to live. I also like to point out that if we weren't meant to eat meat, why do we possess teeth specifically for tearing? Just because we're sentient doesn't mean we have to turn our backs on what we are. If you want to deny that people should eat meat, you might as well deny the fact that you're mortal. That's just the way it is.
Make sure you guys update me on the details of the BBQ.
I'll be sure and make the trip.
PETA is the lamest organization on the planet!
If a monkey has to have shampoo shoved in his eye to help develop tearless shampoo for my son; open wide Cheetah this is prolly gonna hurt.
Isn't she just proving the point that flesh is good to eat and that skin is very useful as a material?
If anything, she hasn't talked me out of eating meat, she's talking me into giving cannibalism a whirl. Why waste dead people by putting them in the ground indeed!
I would eat that pious bitch in a heartbeat, and chase her down with a beef-enzime protien shake. I would then take the leather purse made from her skin, and fill it with rocks, so I could use it to beat a baby seal to death (as a reminder that PETA can fuck right off). If I want a hypocrite to preach their warped world view to me, I'll go to church (in a Newkirk-skin jacket).
PETA is ridiculous. Nature's law is survival of the fittest, and you don't see them out in the african plains trying to stop prides of lions from crushing antelope skulls or tearing a zebra's flesh off until they bleed out. As a human being, if I can catch it, I will kill it, eat it, and/or fuck it. Maybe all three. Weird.
(24 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
March 24th, 2009 at 08:10 am
Crazy much?
March 24th, 2009 at 09:16 am
What are we supposed to eat if they cut her up and mail her parts away?
March 24th, 2009 at 09:18 pm
Newkirk jerky?
March 24th, 2009 at 09:19 am
crazy crazy crazy
March 24th, 2009 at 10:30 am
I think it's awesome
March 24th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Tests have shown that plants "react" to the death or trauma of other plants in their vicinity. Would love to hear Peta parse words over that. Something has to die for something else to live. No exception.
I suggest that she also have her anus cored out, post-humus, and have it fashioned into a ring that must be kissed by all who wish to be members of Peta.
March 24th, 2009 at 01:50 pm
That's always my argument, that plants are living things also, and that something has to die for us to live. I also like to point out that if we weren't meant to eat meat, why do we possess teeth specifically for tearing? Just because we're sentient doesn't mean we have to turn our backs on what we are. If you want to deny that people should eat meat, you might as well deny the fact that you're mortal. That's just the way it is.
March 24th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
What would she take to go away? How much? I'm sure we could start a collection.
April 15th, 2009 at 04:03 pm
About $20. 9mm ammo is cheap.
March 24th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Make sure you guys update me on the details of the BBQ.
I'll be sure and make the trip.
PETA is the lamest organization on the planet!
If a monkey has to have shampoo shoved in his eye to help develop tearless shampoo for my son; open wide Cheetah this is prolly gonna hurt.
March 24th, 2009 at 02:18 pm
Wow. You're a sick, sick person.
March 24th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
I'd love a crazy bitch steak and a crazy bitch wallet
March 24th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
this guy would know what to do with this crazy broad
http://www.digitalfuntown.com/videos/158
March 24th, 2009 at 02:13 pm
Isn't she just proving the point that flesh is good to eat and that skin is very useful as a material?
If anything, she hasn't talked me out of eating meat, she's talking me into giving cannibalism a whirl. Why waste dead people by putting them in the ground indeed!
March 24th, 2009 at 03:42 pm
Daaaaamn can i get a piece of that chick in the pic... slap som bbq sauce on that n you're good to go
March 24th, 2009 at 05:14 pm
Hell, I'm a vegetarian and I can't stand those sanctimonious PETA dumbasses.
March 24th, 2009 at 07:51 pm
I like ingrid but I wouldn't want to eat her....to dry and gristly
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
March 24th, 2009 at 08:29 pm
peta is fucking insane. penn tore them apart:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9ijLulwUTY
March 24th, 2009 at 09:16 pm
I would eat that pious bitch in a heartbeat, and chase her down with a beef-enzime protien shake. I would then take the leather purse made from her skin, and fill it with rocks, so I could use it to beat a baby seal to death (as a reminder that PETA can fuck right off). If I want a hypocrite to preach their warped world view to me, I'll go to church (in a Newkirk-skin jacket).
March 26th, 2009 at 01:34 pm
Stupid bitch. Imma go eat a damn steak right now, and I ain't even hungry.
March 27th, 2009 at 12:35 am
Do you think they'll take her to a taxidermist to get the work done?
April 14th, 2009 at 02:16 pm
PETA is ridiculous. Nature's law is survival of the fittest, and you don't see them out in the african plains trying to stop prides of lions from crushing antelope skulls or tearing a zebra's flesh off until they bleed out. As a human being, if I can catch it, I will kill it, eat it, and/or fuck it. Maybe all three. Weird.
April 15th, 2009 at 04:06 pm
How amny of those "hot" young people are PETA members? They look more like modles who spend all day at the gym and drink protien shakes.
August 16th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
hey all animals have rights......a right to a little garlic and butter....and then seared over an open flame...
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