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Pete Wentz Makes Out With The Dudes

Do you think if Albert Einstein made out with a dude he would say “I’m just experimenting?” I don’t think he would. I think he’d tell you “I sort of like dudes.” People throw the word “experimenting” around a lot these days and then expect no one to make any sort of statements about them because they “were just experimenting.” I wish I had known that in college, because then I could have told the cops “I was just experimenting to see whether or not the door handle of my professors car would maintain its structural integrity if I rubbed dog shit on it.” Anyway, Pete Wentz apparently was just experimenting when he made out with some dudes. Usmagazine.com says:

Dad-to-be Pete Wentz has a confession: He’s made out with dudes.

He tells Out magazine he first smooched a guy when he was 16 or 17, probably on a dare.

He experimented again around 18 and 19, he says.

His last same-sex make out?

“A long time ago, Wentz, 29, says. “Probably when I was 22?

That’s a lot of experiments. I’m pretty sure the experiments run to create the atomic bomb took less time than that, and those ended the second world war. Wentz’s brought us shitty emo, which I’m convinced may end up starting the third world war.

The people who I think suffer the most from this are gay people. They already get enough shit from people, the last thing they need is people associating Pete Wentz with them. I’m guessing we may see some signs like this at an upcoming gay pride parade:

3 Responses to "Pete Wentz Makes Out With The Dudes"

  1. Bob Fields says:

    Who the hell is Pete Wentz, and why would a guy on earth care?

  2. Trev says:

    wow big surprise…call me ignorant but emo to me seems like a culture in where the guys act more like girls and the girls act kinda like guys in ways.

  3. grady says:

    haha. “go back from wentz you came”…you guys fucking rock.


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