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Philip Rivers Doesn’t Like Poontang

Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers wants the children of the world to keep their peepees and their poontangs in their pants. Because, according to him, chastity is a “lost art.” Uhh, sure Phil. Getting kids to abstain from sex is like trying to make a monkey fuck a football. It’s a nice thought, but I’ve never seen it happen. The only kids who go to these chastity conferences are usually 14-year-old moms or little boys who are trying to pray themselves straight. Oh, and mega nerds like Philip Rivers.

12 Responses to "Philip Rivers Doesn’t Like Poontang"

  1. Brendon says:

    A QB talking about chastity, yeah I buy that. Jamie, leave and never come back.

  2. Robert Baccalieri says:

    If Philip Rivers does not like poon-tang, then this confirms my hypothesis that Philip Rivers is gay. Him and that ass-goblin Eli Manning…

  3. annony says:

    i hate philip rivers.

  4. Cutlerwould says:

    OH MY GOD! Just when I thought I couldn’t hate Rivers and more, he goes and does something like this. I wish Jay Cutler was on the side lines of this interview, screaming and laughing at him with his seven whores from Denver, no wait that would be Travis Henry, no wait those are his kids, whatever. I can’t wait for the world to see this and scream at him. Hell, probably Jeff Garcia with his hot wife and the two guys he bangs would be on the sidelines of this screaming at him as well. Then he would go make out with his dudes. . . wait how did this become about Garcia? GODDAMIT I HATE YOU RIVERS!

  5. Dickgrays1 says:

    So does this mean that Holy Taco is now rooting for the Patriots?

  6. Cody says:

    You know, I’m a San Diegan and a Charger fan, but Rivers really is a TOOL. Just like Champ Bailey said, he’s a not so great quarterback surrounded by a great offense. The man talks mad shit to other players and even fans. It’s a sad thing to root for a team but have that feeling sullied by one of the team members being a jerk. This video sealed the deal for me: even though I love the Chargers, Rivers classifies as a Fucktard. Bummer, man.

  7. Anil Dikshit says:

    Yeah, I’m going to be lining up out the door to attend a conference about NOT having sex.

  8. Maniac207 says:

    Rivers will be wishing for chastity when the Pats defense bends him over on Sunday. What a tool! Having an NFL quarterback promoting chastity is like having Lindsay Lohan promoting sobriety. Does this mean that with all of his pregnant supermodel girlfriends, Tom Brady is River’s arch nemesis?

  9. Jamie says:

    I hope all you idiots end up with VD. Finally I can agree on something Rivers says. You people are the REAL idiots.

  10. bryan says:

    i’ve never met someone who liked this guy

  11. Anonymeow says:

    Or Jamie for that matter.

  12. Justin says:

    Yes Jamie, beacuse if someone has sex that means they have sex with everyone. Are you a total fucktard? Go read your bible and leave us alone.