Explore Holy Taco

Promise Her Anything, But Give Her Synth Coke

Seeing a coke whore’s eyes light up like a child on Christmas morning is one of the most beautiful things in the world. So what do you do when you can’t score any coke? Well, according to this ad, Synth Coke will do just the trick. (Something tells me she doesn’t even know she’s in a commercial.)

Other crap to look at:
Tracy Bingham shows off her breasts (drunkenstepfather)
Introducing DoubleViking’s hotties (doubleviking)
Sucker punched right out of his shoes (nothingtoxic)
Carolina Ardohain is hot (gorillamask)
Ref tackles player (EJB)
Marsha Brady talks about anal (theblemish)
Gisele Bundchen models in Santa Monica (cameltap)
The Brohemian Rhapsody (comedy.com)
The Keeley Hazell collection (fhm)
Swedish hockey fans pelt the ice with dildos (barstoolsports)
You should definitely try these Republican recipes! (youarehated)

6 Responses to "Promise Her Anything, But Give Her Synth Coke"

  1. sam says:

    That guys voice is exactly the same as Mike Damone of “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” fame. Awesomeness!

  2. Pratik says:

    Straight-up amazing. Selling fake cocaine just to get with a coked whore

  3. RogersF says:

    Wouldn’t baking soda do the trick too? Assuming this chick is as coked out as she appears…

    Jon Tricky would approve of this move: http://fiturl.com/0jT

  4. Mr. Balls says:

    Do yourself a favor and visit the Keeley Hazell link. She has the most exquisite set of natural breasts on the planet.

  5. Font says:

    Good morning. Many people weigh the guilt they will feel against the pleasure of the forbidden action they want to take.
    I am from Bulgaria and learning to read in English, give please true I wrote the following sentence: “Sheldon is another small font which is great for viewing code.Cross colors, ringscolors, lines colors.”

    Best regards :-) , Sully.

  6. </a></cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/promise-her-anything-but-give-her-synth-coke/#comment-62603">May 13, 2009 at 9:45 am</a></div> <p>Hi all. I say luck is when an opportunity comes along, and you’re prepared for it.<br /> I am from Latvia and now study English, tell me right I wrote the following sentence: “Avtovaz, which employs people in the volga city of togliatti, will get cash strapped avtovaz has been asking for billion rubles from the government.Avtovaz ? ? ? ? On venemaa autotootja, tuntud ka vazina ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? .”</p> <p>With best wishes <img src='http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif' alt=':-D' class='wp-smiley' /> , Edgar.</p> </div> </li> </ol> </div> </div> <div id="column-right"> <div class="block"> <div id="re_ad_300x250"> <!-- BEGIN 300x250 ad tag --> <script type="text/javascript">document.write('<script language="JavaScript" src="http://ad.doubleclick.net/adj/brk.ht/'+htAdVars.zone+';sz=300x250;tile=3;cntid='+htAdVars.cntID+';'+apexTagKeyVals+'ord='+ord+'?" type="text/javascript"></scr'+'ipt>');</script> <!-- END 300x250 ad tag --> </div> </div> <div class="textwidget"><p><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/the-5-strongest-reasons-to-oppose-gay-marriage//"><img src="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/gay-marriage-arguments-new.jpg" alt="" title="Gay Marriage" width="300" height="125" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-238839" /></a><br /> <strong>5 Strongest Arguments Against Gay Marriage</strong><br> <p><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/how-make-mcgriddle-home-0/"><img src="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/images/2009/10/mcgriddle_1.jpg" alt="" title="McGriddles" width="300" height="125" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-238839" /></a><br /> <strong>How to Make a McGriddle at Home</strong> <p><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/how-write-black-eyed-peas-song/"><img src="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Black+Eyed+Peas+new+shoot.png" alt="" title="BEP" width="300" height="125" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-238839" /></a><br /> <strong>How to Write a Black Eyed Peas Song</strong><br> <p><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/25-leaked-celebrity-cell-phone-pics/"><img src="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/kardashian.jpg" alt="" title="Kardashian" width="300" height="125" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-238839" /></a><br /> <strong>25 Leaked Celebrity Cell Phone Pics</strong> <p><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/7-avengers-too-lame-for-the-movies/"><img src="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/406px-Silverclaw6666.jpg" alt="" title="Avengers" width="300" height="125" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-238839" /></a><br /> <strong>7 Avengers Too Lame for the Movie</strong> <p><a href="http://brk.to/1l74" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.screenjunkies.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/aoltv.jpg" alt="" title="Zooey" width="300" height="125" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-238839" /></a><br /> <strong>Zooey Deschanel Hotness</strong> <p><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/female-murderers-casey-anthony/"><img src="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/CaseyAnthonyHeader1.jpg" alt="" title="Casey Anthony" width="300" height="125" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-238839" /></a><br /> <strong>Female Murderers You’d Probably Go Home With</strong><br /> </div> <div class="block"> <h2 class="heading side-title side-photo-of-the-day"> <a href="/photos">Photo of the Day</a> </h2> <div class="photo-day"> <a href="http://www.holytaco.com/original-gangster/" title="go to : Original Gangster"><img class="lazyload-right" alt="Original Gangster" style="width: 275px;" src="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/themes/HolyTaco/images/photos/ht_thumbnail_100x100.jpg" original="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/SAjWc.jpg"></a> </div> <p><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/original-gangster/">See More Pictures</a></p> </div> <div class="block"> <textarea class="lazyload-right"> <br clear="all" /> <!-- updated by sindy zhou 2011.07.12 --> <iframe class="scribol" height="515" width="300" id="scribol_271962" scrolling="no" frameborder="0"></iframe> <script> var Scribol; if(typeof Scribol=='undefined'){ Scribol={}; Scribol.frames=[];Scribol.site='http://scribol.com/';Scribol.is_preview=false;} Scribol.frames.push('271962'); </script> <script async="async" defer="defer" src="http://scribol.com/txwidget1.2.js"></script> <!-- end --> </textarea> </div> <div class="block bestOfTaco"> <h2 class="heading side-title side-best-of-taco"><span>Best of Taco</span></h2> <ul> <li> <a href="http://www.holytaco.com/the-douchiest-phone-message-in-history/" title="go to : The Douchiest Phone Message In History"><img class="lazyload-right" alt="The Douchiest Phone Message In History" style="width:95px;" src="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/themes/HolyTaco/images/photos/ht_thumbnail_100x100.jpg" original="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/themes/HolyTaco/images/photos/ht_thumbnail_220x150.jpg"><span style="font-size: small;">The Douchiest Phone Message In History</span></a> </li> <li> <a href="http://www.holytaco.com/the-10-most-worthless-college-majors/" title="go to : The 10 Most Worthless College Majors"><img class="lazyload-right" alt="The 10 Most Worthless College Majors" style="width:95px;" src="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/themes/HolyTaco/images/photos/ht_thumbnail_100x100.jpg" original="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/intropic.jpg"><span style="font-size: small;">The 10 Most Worthless College Majors</span></a> </li> <li> <a href="http://www.holytaco.com/8-most-awkward-childhood-moments/" title="go to : 8 Most Awkward Childhood Moments"><img class="lazyload-right" alt="8 Most Awkward Childhood Moments" style="width:95px;" src="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/themes/HolyTaco/images/photos/ht_thumbnail_100x100.jpg" original="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/wetdream1.jpg"><span style="font-size: small;">8 Most Awkward Childhood Moments</span></a> </li> <li> <a href="http://www.holytaco.com/10-items-you-think-make-you-cool-but-dont/" title="go to : 10 Items You Think Make You Cool, But Don’t"><img class="lazyload-right" alt="10 Items You Think Make You Cool, But Don’t" style="width:95px;" src="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/themes/HolyTaco/images/photos/ht_thumbnail_100x100.jpg" original="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/iphone.jpg"><span style="font-size: small;">10 Items You Think Make You Cool, But Don’t</span></a> </li> <li> <a href="http://www.holytaco.com/if-movie-posters-were-honest/" title="go to : If Movie Posters Were Honest"><img class="lazyload-right" alt="If Movie Posters Were Honest" style="width:95px;" src="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/themes/HolyTaco/images/photos/ht_thumbnail_100x100.jpg" original="http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/images/Rambo.jpg"><span style="font-size: small;">If Movie Posters Were Honest</span></a> </li> </ul> </div> <!-- START OF THE PLAYER EMBEDDING TO COPY-PASTE --> <div id="mediaplayer" class="mediaplayer block"> <textarea class="lazyload-right"> <h2 class="heading"> Andy Rooney Out of Context </h2> <div class="mediaplayerBox"> <object width="300" height="250"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/a8lzB14O4Ww&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/a8lzB14O4Ww&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="300" height="250"></embed></object> </div> </textarea> </div> <!-- END OF THE PLAYER EMBEDDING --> </div> <br clear="all" /> </div> <!-- content end --> </div> <div class="footer_wraper"> <div class="footer"> <ul class="network_sites"> <li class="break"><a href="http://www.break.com/" target="_blank" title="Funny Videos">Break.com</a></li> <li class="mademan"><a href="http://www.mademan.com/" target="_blank" title="Men's Guide">Made Man</a></li> <li class="gamefront"><a href="http://www.gamefront.com/" target="_blank" title="Game Front">Game Front</a></li> <li class="screenjunkies"><a href="http://www.screenjunkies.com/" target="_blank" title="Movie Reviews">Screen Junkies</a></li> <li class="cagepotato"><a href="http://www.cagepotato.com/" target="_blank" title="MMA News">Cage Potato</a></li> <li class="chickipedia"><a href="http://www.mademan.com/chickipedia/" target="_blank" title="Hot Pictures">Chickipedia</a></li> <li class="tuvez"><a href="http://www.tuvez.com/" target="_blank" title="Tuvez Home">Tuvez</a></li> <li class="holytaco"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/" target="_blank" title="Funny Stuff">Holy Taco</a></li> <li style="padding-right: 0px;" class="allleftturns last"><a href="http://www.allleftturns.com/" target="_blank" title="NASCAR News">All Left Turns</a></li> </ul> </div> <div class="footer_foot"> <a href="http://www.breakmedia.com" title="Break Media" class="logo_breakmedia" target="_blank">Break Media</a> <ul class="quicklink_bm"> <li><a href="http://www.breakmedia.com/for-advertisers">Advertise</a></li> <li><a href="http://info.break.com/break/html/privacy.html">Privacy</a></li> <li><a href="http://breakmedia.zendesk.com/portal">Help / FAQ</a></li> <li><a href="http://info.break.com/break/html/terms.html">Terms</a></li> <li><a href="http://info.break.com/break/html/copyright-notices.html">Copyright</a></li> <li><a style="cursor:pointer" onclick="TRUSTeWidget.Tab.link()">Ad Choices</a></li> </ul> <p class="copyright_bm">Copyright © 2011 Break Media. All Rights Reserved.</p> <script src="http://preferences.truste.com/webservices/js?domain=holytaco.com&type=epref" type="text/javascript"></script> </div> </div> <script type="text/javascript"> if(typeof _brkPVO == 'undefined') var _brkPVO = 'pe=a&pi=5075'; (function() { var brkpv = document.createElement('script'); brkpv.type = 'text/javascript';brkpv.async = true;brkpv.src = 'http://media1.break.com/break/js/lamp/pageview.min.js?v=221'; document.body.appendChild(brkpv); })(); </script> <input type="hidden" id="nongalprev" value="http://www.holytaco.com/drunk-girls-pee-where-drunk-girls-want-to-pee/" /> <input type="hidden" id="nongalnext" value="http://www.holytaco.com/the-greatest-movie-trailer-of-all-time/" /> <div id="framePreload"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="/wp-content/plugins/html5-slideshow/writeCapture.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="/wp-content/plugins/html5-slideshow/jquery.writeCapture.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> var gallery_post_id = "5075"; var popped = ('state' in window.history), initialURL = location.href; var $ = jQuery; HtmlSlideShow.init(); </script> <div id="tracking" style="height:0px; width:0px; overflow:hidden;"> <!-- Start Comscore Beacon --> <script type="text/javascript"> document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + (document.location.protocol == "https:" ? "https://sb" : "http://b") + ".scorecardresearch.com/beacon.js' %3E%3C/script%3E")); </script> <script type="text/javascript"> COMSCORE.beacon({ c1:2, c2:"4000003", c3:"4000003", c4:escape(window.location.href), c5:"", c6:"", c15:"" }); </script> <noscript><img src="http://b.scorecardresearch.com/b?c1=2&c2=4000003&c3=4000003&c4=&c5=&c6=&c15=&cv=1.3&cj=1" style="display:none" width="0" height="0" alt="" /></noscript> <!-- End Comscore Beacon --> <!-- Start Quantcast tag --> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://edge.quantserve.com/quant.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript">_qacct="p-83WcMqNwWwE46";quantserve();</script> <noscript> <a href="http://www.quantcast.com/p-83WcMqNwWwE46" target="_blank"><img src="http://pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-83WcMqNwWwE46.gif" style="display: none" border="0" height="1" width="1" alt="Quantcast"/></a> </noscript> <!-- End Quantcast tag --> <!-- START Nielsen Online SiteCensus V6.0 --> <!-- COPYRIGHT 2010 Nielsen Online --> <script type="text/javascript"> (function () { var d = new Image(1, 1); d.onerror = d.onload = function () { d.onerror = d.onload = null; }; d.src = ["//secure-us.imrworldwide.com/cgi-bin/m?ci=us-103628h&cg=0&cc=1&si=", escape(window.location.href), "&rp=", escape(document.referrer), "&ts=compact&rnd=", (new Date()).getTime()].join(''); })(); </script> <noscript> <div> <img src="//secure-us.imrworldwide.com/cgi-bin/m?ci=us-103628h&cg=0&cc=1&ts=noscript" width="1" height="1" alt="" /> </div> </noscript> <!-- END Nielsen Online SiteCensus V6.0 --> <!-- BEGIN Google Analytics tracking --> <script type="text/javascript"> var _gaq = _gaq || []; // Google _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-3335426-4']); _gaq.push(['_setCustomVar', 1, 'Content Type', '']); _gaq.push(['_setCustomVar', 2, 'Article Type', '']); _gaq.push(['_setCustomVar', 3, 'Article Sub-Type', '']); _gaq.push(['_setCustomVar', 4, 'Trending', '']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageLoadTime']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })(); </script> <!-- END Google Analytics tracking --> <!-- Blue Kai track tag --> <img height="1" width="1" src="http://tags.bluekai.com/site/4517"> <!-- 1x1 tracking pixels --> <script type="text/javascript"> GA_googleFillSlot("hpto_holytaco_pixel"); </script> <script type="text/javascript"> GA_googleFillSlot("hpto_holytaco_pixel2"); </script> <!-- End 1x1 tracking pixels --> <!-- Comment Meebo BRKWP338 <script type="text/javascript"> Meebo('domReady'); </script> --> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://tags.crwdcntrl.net/c/835/cc.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" language="javascript">LOTCC.bcp();</script> </div> </body> </html> <!-- Performance optimized by W3 Total Cache. Learn more: http://www.w3-edge.com/wordpress-plugins/ Minified using memcached Page Caching using memcached Database Caching 15/34 queries in 0.352 seconds using memcached Object Caching 386/734 objects using memcached Content Delivery Network via cdn2.holytaco.com Served from: www.holytaco.com @ 2012-02-10 03:56:02 -->