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Father of Renaissance Faires Dies: Nerds Mourn, Corsets Continue To Show Support

Ron Patterson

Good even loyal Holy Taco subjects. It is with great sorrow that I bring thee this news: Ron Patterson, the father of the modern Renaissance faire, passed away earlier this month. We’ve decided to memorialize the Prince of L.A.R.P.ers with a bunch of pictures of ren faire regulars and cleavage, plus ten ren faire pickup lines! Huzzah!

Ren Faire Cleavage

What dost thou think of showing thee what lies beneath thou ruff?

Dirty Ren Faire Monk

"Thy eyes are up here, creepy monk!"

What say we tarry a while and celebrate humanism, mistress?

Take off your snood and let your hair down, wench!

That bodice doth look itchy. Take it off, wench!

Ren Faire Cleavage

Comely barmaid, fetch me another ale and meet me in thy privy!

Would thou like to hear thous favorite Jack Johnson song played on thy lute?

It might be thy mead talking, but thou thinks thee is the fairest maiden in this entire tavern.

Ren Faires are the only place where a guy who looks like my dad can have a harem.

Nay! Even the strongest chain mail pants could not hide what thou feels for thee!

I may not be of noble blood, but I’m hung like a centaur.

How much barley wine might one require to allow thee to storm one’s castle? A moat’s worth? Then a moat’s worth ye shall drink!

6 Responses to "Father of Renaissance Faires Dies: Nerds Mourn, Corsets Continue To Show Support"

  1. whatever - who cares says:

    first. I love dressing up too, as females though. Shhhhhhh

  2. Ludophile says:

    Thy grasp of archaic grammar sucketh donkey balls.

  3. b0rk says:

    I’m not a grammar nazi, but those comments were unreadable.

    Dear Taco, please learn how to use thy, thou and thee if you want to make a page like this.