It's graduation time again, and that means that thousands of young, educated people are being commended for their accomplishments, and then released into the real world to survive on their own, which is exactly what happened to Ice-T in Surviving the Game, right before a bunch of crazy guys began hunting him in the woods. The post-graduation world can be a scary and intimidating place to a new-comer, but this Recent Graduate's Twitter Feed should shed some light on the realities of life after graduation:
I have a history degree and I make over 100K a year @ 27. Its not what you choose to do necessarily, but what you can do. FYI, I am not in porn or selling drugs.
As for the piece itself, it was a little obvious.
Wait, let me guess... You hang around country clubs and find old widowers, marry them and take their assets when they die. There is no other way with a history degree.
I didn't enjoy my college much, but all the hard work paid off though. I'm not struggling like a lot of other people who just graduated. All it requires is that I'm miserable out at sea for 10 months out of the year.
A little piece of advice for the just graduating... new to the real world…
1. Learn how to bullshit do not expect a job just because you spent the last 4-5 yrs of your life learning shit you will never use.
2. Fake the experience again know ones cares about that freaking degree they care about what you say you can do for them and their company.
3. Do a little bit of research about the job and the requirements so you can bullshit.
4. I would put all the money I have that everyone of you new grads have listed first on your resume is your BS or BA… Move it to the bottom because that is where it belongs.
It has come to my attention that you've been looking at Holy Taco when you're SUPPOSED to be doing the really, REALLY super-important job I hired you for.
Therefore, YOU'RE FIRED. Your name is just "Guy" now.
Great Stuff...I graduated this year expecting to make waves and finally get slick bachelor pad downtown or something
Now Im sharing a two bedroom apartment with 4 people (3 dudes, 1 chick, thank god for futons) in the city aka Toronto if your from the area...I live near George Brown "College" nuff said
Oh and I'm working as a server.
PS. A Biotechnology degree does not grant you the ability to deliver a well done steak in under 8 minutes. I was as shocked as you are
(26 Comments)
Twitter
Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
June 3rd, 2009 at 03:24 pm
really dumb... come on guys you can do better than this..smh
June 4th, 2009 at 07:12 am
apparently you haven't recently graduated from college...its hard out here for a grad
June 4th, 2009 at 07:35 am
Truth. Class of 09, WHOO WHOO!
June 3rd, 2009 at 03:31 pm
I enjoyed this. Funny stuff.
June 3rd, 2009 at 05:42 pm
i enjoyed it...it's sad that this is pretty much what me/my peers are going through at the moment...@_@
June 3rd, 2009 at 06:31 pm
i like it because it's true
June 3rd, 2009 at 07:41 pm
HA!! My idiot house mate is doing Liberal Arts, he reckons he is in line for big money, and he is a ginger.
June 3rd, 2009 at 09:15 pm
I have a history degree and I make over 100K a year @ 27. Its not what you choose to do necessarily, but what you can do. FYI, I am not in porn or selling drugs.
As for the piece itself, it was a little obvious.
June 3rd, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Wait, let me guess... You hang around country clubs and find old widowers, marry them and take their assets when they die. There is no other way with a history degree.
June 4th, 2009 at 08:57 am
still coming to terms with the small dick thing, huh?
June 6th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Daddy's a billionaire, eh?
June 3rd, 2009 at 09:33 pm
snore... at least you woke up the LA majors and outlined why Twitter should be called Twatter.
June 4th, 2009 at 04:32 am
This makes me want to extend my student life to a maximum length.
June 4th, 2009 at 05:51 am
Don't worry, take a look at this Homemade Porno and life won't seem so bad!
June 4th, 2009 at 09:33 am
Why do i hate twitter so much?
Check this out...
Electronic Cigarette
June 4th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
I didn't enjoy my college much, but all the hard work paid off though. I'm not struggling like a lot of other people who just graduated. All it requires is that I'm miserable out at sea for 10 months out of the year.
June 4th, 2009 at 02:57 pm
... and that you have to be my cabin boy, but maybe you listed that as a perk?
June 4th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
A little piece of advice for the just graduating... new to the real world…
1. Learn how to bullshit do not expect a job just because you spent the last 4-5 yrs of your life learning shit you will never use.
2. Fake the experience again know ones cares about that freaking degree they care about what you say you can do for them and their company.
3. Do a little bit of research about the job and the requirements so you can bullshit.
4. I would put all the money I have that everyone of you new grads have listed first on your resume is your BS or BA… Move it to the bottom because that is where it belongs.
Yours Truly,
Reality
June 4th, 2009 at 02:01 pm
A little piece of advice for the just graduating... new to the real world…
1. Don't follow the advice of Reality when in reality he does not no proper English.
Yours Truly,
Reality 2.0
June 4th, 2009 at 05:51 pm
Yeah my grammar is bad but then again who has time to check grammar when you are working a job and reading stupid shit on the net like this.
Yours Truly,
Guy with a job.
June 6th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Dear Guy with a job,
It has come to my attention that you've been looking at Holy Taco when you're SUPPOSED to be doing the really, REALLY super-important job I hired you for.
Therefore, YOU'RE FIRED. Your name is just "Guy" now.
Sincerely,
The Boss
June 4th, 2009 at 09:18 pm
Also, don't follow the advice of 202 because he too, doesn't KNOW how to spell.
June 4th, 2009 at 05:41 pm
Great Stuff...I graduated this year expecting to make waves and finally get slick bachelor pad downtown or something
Now Im sharing a two bedroom apartment with 4 people (3 dudes, 1 chick, thank god for futons) in the city aka Toronto if your from the area...I live near George Brown "College" nuff said
Oh and I'm working as a server.
PS. A Biotechnology degree does not grant you the ability to deliver a well done steak in under 8 minutes. I was as shocked as you are
June 5th, 2009 at 07:25 am
College is supposed to be for drinking and hooking up with random people. Anything learned doesn't count in the real world.
So, save yourself all that money and go to Vegas for a week and get as many hookers as you can.
June 6th, 2009 at 02:33 pm
Anyone else think that Twitter sounds like a dirty word? Or is that just me and my dirty mind?
June 24th, 2009 at 04:35 am
I enjoyed this. Funny stuff.
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