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Resolved Questions: Immunity To Husband’s Semen?

spoon

Today’s question comes to us from Yahoo! Answers user Shad – O’s Gurl. Shad – O’s Gurl writes:

Yahoo answers

Best answer from a Yahoo! Answers user: “this is actually true.”

Shad – O’s Gurl, your husband, like most people, is only partially informed on this subject matter. While it is true that a regular regimen of semen can lessen the chances of becoming pregnant, it is not true that this is due to a buildup of bodily immunity. That would be like saying the human body will eventually grow immune to black tar heroin, but the 800 cc’s of the stuff in put in my veins every day before lunch begs to differ. It also begs me to free the aliens living in our brains that control our erections and primetime television viewing habits, but that’s a discussion for another day, perhaps one where the keys on my keyboard have not morphed in to tiny mouths with explosions for teeth.

The truth is, just as eating the same meal day in and day out can become boring and repetitious, so too is the vagina when it comes to semen. If your husband feeds your vagina his semen on a Tuesday, then again on Wednesday, then yet again on Thursday, by Friday your vagina will be tossing his penis aside like a child swiping their dinner plate clean off the table, before folding their arms and pouting their cheeks in protest of the same boring old plate of semen. (Remember parents, children need 8 servings of semen a day to build strong bones). As the old saying goes, “Variety in the flavors, consistencies, and textures of semen are the spice of life.” That’s why some pornographic films feature women “feeding” their vaginas various foods and liquids. Celery stalks, beer, champagne, milk, baseball bats, fists, and mail boxes — it’s all about keeping some variation in the diet so things don’t get boring with all that semen. Some of those whores are going to want to settle down and have whore babies someday. 

Champagne

Another way to keep your vagina guessing is do diversify the type of semen you are introducing to your vagina. Due to every man’s unique biochemistry, no two men will produce semen that will taste the same to vaginal taste buds. So if you’re not in to loading your birth canal with your local grocer’s produce section, then an alternative can be to feed your vagina a more robust and well rounded diet of seminal fluid– a tasting menu of seminal fluid, as it were. Perhaps you can get your neighbor to donate some of his semen, or maybe even your husband’s brother. You know, the one with the steady job, a family, a Mercedes, and an income of $300,000 per year? Of course, you can spoon feed your vagina this non-husband semen, or even liberally squirt it in with a turkey baster, but really, semen is always best straight from the tap, like Guinness. Doing this will ensure that your baby making parts never grow tired of your husband’s brand of juice, enabling the two of you young, crazy kids to have that baby you want one day.

Of course, if your vagina does one day reject your husband’s semen, you can spruce up your husband’s semen with a little something different for your vaginal pallet. Semen and parsnips with a white truffle semen glaze reduction is a nice change of pace. Or even semen and trout chunks would make for a tantalizing sensation on your vaginal taste buds.

I Hope I’ve Helped!
 

One Response to "Resolved Questions: Immunity To Husband’s Semen?"

  1. Skempft says:

    LOL that’s so funny. Too right about that guys, too right.

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