Explore Holy Taco

Resolved Questions: Losing Interest in a Girl

breaking up

Today’s questions comes to us from Yahoo! Answers user Lucy. Lucy writes:

yahoo answers

Best answer from a Yahoo! Answers user: “When I woke up the next morning she turned out to be a loaf of bread. Very disappointing."

When we are young, we men have trouble staying focused on one girl at a time. It probably has something to do with the testicle aches we experience when we do not release our seed for extended periods of time, much like a cow and it’s utter. It also might have something to do with our primal need to boast to our friends about the havoc our genitals have wreaked on the genitals of others. But those are all of the biological, evolutionary reasons we move from girl to girl. We all also have our own personal reasons for losing interest in a woman. I myself have plenty of reasons for not finding the time I spend with a lady in the least bit exciting anymore. Like most men, some of my reasons are frivolous, others are basic incompatibility issues.  While I can go in depth about the psychological reasoning behind my loss of interest, I feel it would be better to list the various women I have been with and my reasons for leaving them.

Rachel M. – was a hand model for prostate exam pamphlets

Nancy Z. – cheated on me with our neighbor’s unborn fetus

Zooey H. – continuously mispronounced the word “foliage” as “goddamn jews”
Monica B. – if the light hit her face in a certain way, she would explode in to dust

Ellen A. – weighed less than her birth weight

Denis A. – her STDs and my STDs were not compatible.

Carolyn L. – could fit her entire fist in her mouth, which was awesome, but after she did it her mouth tasted like Preparation H, which is significantly less awesome.

Ashley C. – would request I stare at her vagina as she sneezed. It was like watching a prune implode in to itself

Dani H. – was Swedish, had blonde hair, was very pale, and had a skin graft on her left thy that came from a black person

Anna C. – I had no idea where her faced stopped and her neck, breasts, stomach, thighs and feet, began.

Sally R. – her left foot looked exactly like Gary Busey screaming

Gina S. – gave the lead singer of Nickelback a hand job before he was famous.

Alison Y. — Gave O.J. Simpson a hand job after he became infamous.

Jessica T. — Either had down’s syndrome, or had an undisclosed allergic reaction to oxygen

Lois S. – only wanted to make love near tire fires

Amy C. – I never heard nor saw her poop or fart, like the old myth of girls never pooping or farting. She died of toxicity poisoning

Kendra W. – put too fine a point on reassuring me that her AIM screenname, Kendy2001, had nothing to do with the year of her birth

Sandra D. — would snort-laugh when she orgasimed. 

3 Responses to "Resolved Questions: Losing Interest in a Girl"

  1. DonkeyXote says:

    Wow, some major spelling errors. Thy for thigh? Orgasimed for orgasmed. xD

    Great article though! Too many funny moments to rikuote. 0.o

  2. iamphoenix says:

    Holy Taco’s writers are still in middle school, which explains all the spelling and grammatical errors. I don’t think they’ve discovered spell check. Besides not knowing how to spell elementary level words, this one was pretty good. I laughed, so Holy Taco gets a gold star and is still on track to pass the 6th grade.

  3. iamphoenix says:

    …and your mom wants you home before it gets dark.