Uhhhhhh….according to stuff.co.nz:
They made special cards, queued to wish him Happy Birthday, and one youngster brought a banana tied with a bow to help Ricky, the special-needs monkey, celebrate his 15th birthday at Natureland.
Ricky, who was left badly brain-damaged after being brutalised by a jealous sibling when he was born, has been in the media spotlight following the council’s announcement, with staff and the public expressing concern at what might happen to him should the zoo close.
Mrs Sutton said the community had been supportive and donated time and energy to help the cash-strapped zoo mark the capuchin monkey’s big day.
Zoo curator Gail Sutton said the day was extra special as staff had thought Natureland was going to close on March 31, and would not have been open to celebrate Ricky’s milestone.
“We didn’t make any plans, and when we found we were definitely staying open longer we had three weeks to put together a birthday party for Ricky.”
Three weeks? Do you really need three frickin’ weeks to plan a birthday party for a retarded monkey? I need about four minutes to plan a birthday party for a retarded person (my planning supplies: a pack of chewing gum and a brightly-colored stick.) But when it comes to a monkey’s big day, I can guarantee that whatever you’re planning will just terrify him.
Put yourself in the mind of a retarded monkey for a second. You’re going about your day doing what retarded monkeys do (constantly jacking off?) and then someone drags you from the comfort of your cage, a bunch of little children are screaming and pawing at you and then someone shoves a fiery cake in your face. Just give him an extra banana and let him watch the first half of King Kong.
Thanks to Senor Walsh for sending in.
Courtney Love & Muppet Sexual Assault
Playboy’s Big Dance March Madness Bracket Challenge
gnjgklewjuinnergsdf.com
gnjgklewjuinnergsdf.com
gnjgklewjuinnergsdf.com
Speaking of jacking off all day, sometimes when my girlfriend is away and I don’t feel like leaving my apartment I’ll probably jerk-off a lot of fucking times. But I’m lazy and sometimes I’ll stay sitting in front of my computer and let the tissues dry onto my penis. If that happens I’ll just pull my pants back on and eat some food, or watch TV, or some shit. But when it’s time to jerk-off again I’ll just peel off the tissues and depending on how big the first load was, I can sometimes reuse them. Pretty sweet huh? I’m saving trees that way.
what the fuck?
now everyone I try to email this post to is going to have to read that some weirdo wanks it and then stews in it.
how the fuck does someone decide if a monkey is special needs or not. can it not throw its shit as well as the other monkeys? also who would take time out of their day to attend a birthday party for an animal with brain damage. like the monkey has any idea what the fuck is going on anyway. now, if they included a battle to the death between the challenged primate and the dumbass who spent 3 weeks planning it, i would be all about it.
Leave JayZ alone
i think matt pilot deserves post of the week honors
Fuck matt pilot, I almost pissed my pants when I read white devil’s comment. That shit is classic, bravo.
Now for my rant on blake williams, the guy who called me a wierdo. This is actually going to be very simple, because it’s so easy. Blake-e-boy, you are a tool; you linked your myspace page to your comment and I saw it as an invitation. After seeing your totally rad Spud Mackenzie logo, I looked down and saw “disc golf” as one of your hobbies. Well, I looked up disc golf because I have never heard of it, and what I found out is that not only do you ride the pony, but you’re out of the closet as well. Anybody who admits to playing frisbee golf definitely has some femininity issues that they have apparently comes to grips with. Kudos to you blake williams, you put the violet in my rainbow spectrum.
I have to agree with Buddy Ice on this one. I nearly hurt myself when I read White Devil’s comment.
White Devil, I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Buddy Ice, you’re not going to rip on the other hobbies? Namely ‘expressive dance, and freestyle kite flying’…
esogpsdgmldsgds.com