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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: October 5th

Another week another stab at a few movies.  Seems like not many people are trying hard this week, but oh well.  Last time I checked Rotten Tomatoes our first entry was in single digits worth of rotten crap, s maybe this whole week will be a wash.  We shall see.  Anyway, this week we have a recipe included, and a video.  What an age we live in.

Taken 2

Taken part 1 was about how Liam Neeson will kick your ass, and then later the asses of wolves.  Or maybe that’s just Liam Neeson the man, rather than the character.  In any event, Neeson has slowly but surely convinced the world he’s a great actor ever since the 90s and Schindler’s List.  He pulled a Tom Hanks and conveniently asked you to overlook his past.  Well buddy, I ain’t having it.  Look at this!

Anyway, I guess in this movie someone kidnaps Neeson’s kid again?  I dunno.

Frankenweenie

Tim Burton made another Tim Burton movie.  I could go all sarcastic here but instead let me just say that I like a lot of Tim Burton’s movies, I just don’t get them anymore.  He literally makes the same movie visually every time he makes a film now, what the hell?  Would it kill you to have a character in a movie who doesn’t have artificial bags under their eyes?  Just once?  Tim Burton, I refuse to watch another one of your movies until you make a film in which the entire cast, or all the animated characters at least, all look as though they got a good night’s sleep, have seen sunshine and ate a warm meal sometime today.

Pitch Perfect

Didn’t I write about this last week?  Did this movie come out twice?  Did someone lie to me when they said it came out last week?  Goddammit.

V/H/S

So I actually heard of this movie because I’m a horror nerd and I read about horror movies like some kind of nerd might.  Anyway, this is a found footage anthology sort of thing.  It sounds like it was a weak excuse to make a bunch of unrelated short films and release them as a whole real film.  Whatever.  Short horror can be cool, no worries.  Here’s the issue – the overarching story has some characters being asked to find a certain film in some house, and they have to sort through all these VHS tapes to find it.  I have not had a functional VCR in years. I don’t even think they make them anymore.  Most of my VHS tapes were getting a little sketchy as well, and I don’t store them in an abandoned horror movie house either, they were on a shelf.  Therefore this movie is bullshit.  Suspension of disbelief only goes so far.

Wake in Fright

This is opening in limited release and I know nothing about it except this – Donald Pleasance stars in it.  That man died in 1995.  Knowing this we have 3 conclusions we can come to about this movie.

  1. It’s a re-release of a movie filmed prior to 1995.  Is this the most obvious and probably only “real” choice?  Shut up.
  2. It’s a first time release of a movie that just took a really long damn time to film.
  3. Donald Pleasance is undead and still acting.

Butter

Is this movie about Paula Deen?  Not likely, but it should be.  Here’s Paula Deen’s recipe for Deep Fried Butter Balls.

1   egg, beaten
1 cup all-purpose flour
Salt and pepper
2 ounces cream cheese
2   sticks butter
1 cup seasoned bread crumbs
Peanut oil, for frying

Directions

Cream the butter, cream cheese, salt and pepper together with an electric mixer until smooth. Using a very small ice cream scoop, or melon baller, form 1-inch balls of butter mixture and arrange them on a parchment or waxed paper lined sheet pan. Freeze until solid. Coat the frozen balls in flour, egg, and then bread crumbs and freeze again until solid.

When ready to fry, preheat oil in a deep-fryer to 350 degrees F.

Fry balls for 10 to 15 seconds until just light golden. Drain on paper towels before serving.

If you live, let us know how it was.

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