Ever since Rush Limbaugh called Sandra Fluke a slut and a prostitute, I have developed a morbid fascination with Rush’s, uh, let’s say, oeuvre; his body of work, so to speak. I’ve learned many new things about Rush, and I’ve come across many bits that I already knew. For instance, I knew he was, for a short time, a football analyst for ESPN’s Sunday Night Countdown, and he was a race card-playing asshole on that show. As for something I didn’t know, I learned that Rush has been married 4 times and has zero kids, probably because he’s an asshole. Basically, I had my knowledge of Rush’s assholeary reaffirmed by pretty much everything I came across. Man, what a dick.
One piece of Rush trivia I came across that I hadn’t known before, and was entertained endlessly by, was the fact that in the 90s Rush Limbaugh had his own line of neckties, which is surprising because have you ever tried to find a neck on this thing?
It’s like that one Where’s Waldo picture where everyone’s dressed like Waldo – it’s really hard.
The line of ties went by the brand name “No Boundaries.” Like Rush himself, I assume one of those non-existent boundaries was taste, because even for the silly fashion styles of the 1990s, these ties are f*cking ugly. The ties are so ugly that the pill popping Rush has become infamous for suddenly makes a lot more sense. Maybe this whole time I’ve misjudged Rush. Maybe this whole time he’s been a mad druggy artist, like Warhol and Dali…but with neckties acting as his canvas to capture the madness pouring out of his paint brush.
Here are some of those ties:
Have you ever been playing Donkey Kong and said, “F*ck it. I’ll just drop acid instead”? If so, this is what you probably hallucinated.
It’s like someone stapled their boxer shorts to the wall of an exclusive gentlemen’s club for fancy British people.
In this one, Rush was either trying to paint one broken heart for each of his divorces, or he was foreshadowing the massive heart attack that will one day kill him.
I’m fairly certain Rush just tore out some of the carpet from Caesar’s Palace Casino in Vegas and called it a tie, cigarette butts and shame still clinging.
This is what you see when you mix vicodin, oxycodone, and vodka while you’re lost in a hedge maze.
The inspiration for this tie came when Rush pissed in to a jar of that blue water that barbers keep their combs in.
Noticing that his inane bullshit caused people to go cross-eyed when they spoke to him, Rush designed this tie to be one of those pictures with a hidden image that you could only see if you were cross-eyed. (Hint: it’s a cock).
Rush got the idea for this tie after he strangled a parrot, just so he could feel what it’s like to destroy something beautiful.