Scarlett Johannson Hates People Who Can Hear

I’m not sure what it is about some actors, but they’re never happy just being actors. They’re always like “Acting is just my job, but my passion is (insert pretentious hobby). It’s like they don’t want to be actors, but unfortunately god dealt them this cruel card in life to play. Meanwhile somewhere in South Jersey a longshoreman had a bird shit on him while he was unloading barrels of cabbage in 90 degree heat. Anyway, with that in mind, I read this from popsugar.com:

Scarlett Johansson’s first album, which features 10 covers and one original song, will be released in May.

Whoa, 10 COVERS and ONE original song? How the hell is this not different from just recording someone at a karaoke bar? Oh wait, because Scarlett Johansson is ridiculously hot and people at Kareoke bars look like this: