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Scientists Prove Beer Goggles Are Real. Non-Scientists Respond, “Duhhhh.”

You know, with diseases such as cancer, MS, herpes, AIDS and heart disease going uncured, it seems odd that some so-called “scientists” would spend time trying to prove or disprove Beer Goggles. But they did, according to smh.com:

A test on drunk university students has scientifically proven what was common pub knowledge – that drinking improves the appearance of those around you.

Research leader and experimental psychologist Marcus Munafo said alcohol was to blame for twisting our perceptions of attractiveness and focusing us on potential partners in environments conducive to sexual encounters.

Dr Munafo said he wanted see whether the “beer goggle theory” still applied when a person was so drunk they could no longer focus on a face, but he was constrained by study ethics.

Study ethics? Go to any college town on any night of the week and you will find an entire bar full of subjects who are probably already to the “doing it” portion of the “so drunk they could no longer focus” Beer Goggle study.

One important aspect of this study that Dr. Munafo forgot about was that most men will have sex with anything that falls into the “woman” category, ugly or not. The beer goggles don’t make a woman more attractive, they just make them appear more into having sex. To prove it, I did a little scientific study myself. Here are the results:

Before Beer Goggles:

The subject is withdrawn, hiding behind her cigarette and extremely full mustache. She wants no part of sex this evening.

After Beer Goggles:

As you can see, the subject is now a ball of sassy fun. She’s taunting you with her “You Can’t Afford Me” shirt, while her playful smile says, “Prove my shirt wrong.” As you can see, the Beer Goggles turn a boring night into a mindblowing night that you will never ever ever ever tell anyone about. Ever.

Other crap to look at:
Fergie’s ass in a military romper (drunkenstepfather)
Corey Haim loves him some valium (doubleviking)
Pam Rodriguez is attractive (gorillamask)
Cassie pierced her nipples for a noble reason (theblemish)
Cool social ads from around the world (funtasticus)
Slip N’ Slide Nose Grind (tastybooze)
Irina Sheik is a lot sexier than the Iron Sheik (cameltap)
Seren Gibson in Zoo mag (hornyoyster)

One Response to "Scientists Prove Beer Goggles Are Real. Non-Scientists Respond, “Duhhhh.”"

  1. The Shizz says:

    Those two lovely ladies should be the next “What would you rather”