Screw Planking! India Has Invented Train Surfing!

As you are probably well aware, American companies have been sending American jobs to Indian for the past few decades, and it’s only getting worse. I guess. I have no factual data to back that up. But it is a thing that I hear angry people on the news say a lot. India’s workforce is much cheaper than American labor, is one possible explanation that often gets tossed around. I don’t think that’s necessarily true. I mean, it’s probably totally true, but again, what the hell do I know? But judging from the video below, I’m going to claim that the real reason is that the people of India just do things better than we in the states do. Case in point: viral videos. More specifically, they’ve found an activity that exposes such ridiculous internet fads as Planking and Owling as the cheap, lame stunts (if you can even call them that) they’ve always been.

This fad is called “Train Surfing”, and it’s exactly what it sounds like: people hang on to the sides of moving trains.

The video autoplays and I can’t turn that off, which is why it’s after break.

As you saw in the video from the Daily Telegraph, India is clearly better at viral internet fads that we are. If viral internet fads were manufactured by major companies, those companies would be firing Plankers and Owlers left and right and hiring legions of Train Surfers. The reason for this would be simple, and there would be no way to refute it: someone that’s Planking thinks they’re awesome simply because they rested face down on a thing. A Train Surfer knows they’re awesome because they high-five slabs of concrete they’ve just narrowly dodged as they hang off the side of a moving train, like an Old West outlaw hopping on a locomotive he’s about to rob.

At one point in the video the Train Surfer runs across the railing of a raised train platform while the train continues to chug along, dragging him for a ride. If that man were wearing a red shirt and blue pants, I would have confused that video as leaked footage from the new Spider-Man movie. Give that man a Mountain Dew and a backwards baseball cap, because that’s how stupid, idiotic internet fads should be performed.

American stunt fad creators, you really have to put in a little bit more effort if you want to compete with a guy hanging off of a train. Maybe experiment with something I just made up called “Chuteing”, in which you snap a picture of yourself plummeting from great heights without a parachute and with a bored look on your face, as if falling to your death bored the hell out of you. How about “Bearing”, in which you take a picture of yourself attempting to strike a Capitan Morgan-style one-leg-on-a-thing pose, but that “thing” is a wild bear?

I don’t know. I’m just spit-balling here. I’m leaving the brainstorming up to you pioneers of viral internet stunts. America has to be number-one at something, and up until today were number-one in stupid shit. Now India has taken the crown away from us. We have to prove to the world, to ourselves, that we are the kings of stupid shit.