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Sesame Street Youtube Channel Hacked, Filled With Porn

Sesame Street

Imagine being a child that’s thirsty for edutainment. As such, you are a massive fan of the legendary PBS show Sesame Street. You love Elmo, Big Bird, Cookie Monster, the whole gang. You love tuning in to their friendly exploits week in and week out, always learning something new about the world with the aid of your favorite muppet pals.

Now imagine that you are this child and you woke up this past Sunday, October 16th, and hit up the Sesame Street Youtube page for your quick fix of Sesame Street goodness. What are you going to learn about today? How numbers go on and on, infinitely? How to say hello and goodbye in Spanish? Maybe you’ll learn about the value of a simple thank you and you’re welcome. Nope! What you got instead was a scene from First Anal Quest: Angelica, a film in which our hero gets things placed inside of her. It seems Sesame Street’s Youtube page was filled with videos with lessons on anatomy, as the page was hacked and for 20-minuets contained videos of a graphic nature.

In other words, porn. The Sesame Street Youtube channel was filled with porn.

The people that did this, of course, are assholes of the highest order. In a world filled with scumbags and people that constantly titter between simply being a horrible person and being a full-blown super-villain, these guys chose Sesame Street as their target. They chose a show that teaches children to be kind and how to count and spell, over, say, I don’t know, a lying politician that constantly disseminates misinformation, or douchey banker, or an ultra-religious maniacs like the Westboro Baptist Church, or any of the other modern archetypes of villainy. Instead, they go after wholesome children’s programming. That’s like being mad at someone for wronging you, and then punching the first baby you see as a deranged and completely miscalculated act of revenge.

Sesame Street Porn

What’s truly sick about this is that it was someone’s idea of a good time. Exposing children to porn was a barrel of laughs for these people. Besides, everyone knows you don’t start off with hardcore. You have to ease children in to the magical world of pornography with some Cinemax softcore porn and scrambled Spice Channel, in the exact same way the rest of us discovered porn. Jumping head first in to hardcore is traumatic. There needs to be an air of mystery around the act of sex. When you’re a kid that’s staying up late, watching Cinemax porn in the living room while everyone is asleep, you need to wonder what in the hell these people are doing. You have to ask yourself questions like, “why are their legs and hands so strategically placed over their private parts? What are they hiding from me?” This leads to wonderful school yard conversations with friends as you debate your views on your perceived mastery of what you think sex is. One friend saw someone sucking a foot while watching some scrambled porn, so now that’s what he thinks sex is, and only is. Another friend thinks sex is anytime two people grunt at each other. Showing kids full-on hardcore porn removes the mystery of sex, and it removes the investigative nature of sexual discovery.

Damn kids are too smart nowadays anyhow. We don’t want them using the intelligence we never had at their age to explain to us the silly nature and overall futility of titty f*cking. We get it little Tommy; titty f*cking is dumb; it’s pointless. Stop lecturing me, you little prick! You don’t know dick about shit! You’re 8!

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