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Sex And The City Sequel: Pray For Death

This morning I woke up and I didn’t have an erection. The last time that happened, Reagan was in office, and Scott Baio was still delighting TV fans weekly as an incorrigible nanny to three suburban white children. So I wondered this morning, “What is causing this non-boner? Is there something wrong with me?” Then I read this article from people.com:

HBO executives say they are “absolutely interested” in making follow-up to the hugely popular Sex and the City movie.

“Everybody came away feeling very excited by [the first film's] quality and its success, so that always invites the possibility of a continuation,”

See, my penis went flaccid in protest, knowing this was going to happen. It can also predict tropical storms and college bowl games.

I love how people try and promote this movie by saying it’s helping to “empower women.” Right, really really rich women who can afford the clothes that they show in this movie. To everyone else, hey, you better spend all the money you have to buy these clothes otherwise you’re just a total pile of shit, and please make sure to not feel a part of society. If a group of dogs made a movie about walking on two legs, would that be empowering to dogs? No, because there’s like 10 dogs on the whole planet who can do that, and while those dogs are totally awesome, the movie would just make the other dogs fee left out. Holy crap, I hate this show so much that I’m losing my mind and making non-sensical metaphors.

Anyway, the only way I’d go see this movie is if the poster was this:

8 Responses to "Sex And The City Sequel: Pray For Death"

  1. Mr. Poopoopachu says:

    Let us pray that HBO is mimicking the business model of the mask company in Halloween 3.

  2. Pratik says:

    My roommate went to see this and she kept going on about how awesome it was. I finally asked her what’s so good about it and all she could come up with was the fashion in it:

    Me: What’s so good about the movie?
    Her: The fashion!! =D
    Me: So is there some fashion-related plot or a satirical commentary on how we choose to dress ourselves every day?
    Her: No, but the clothes looked super-cute ^_^
    Me: Oh, ok. And by the way, I won’t be able to go to Applebee’s tonight with you since I’ll be in the bathroom gouging my eyes out with a toothbrush in roughly five seconds.

    And now Homey’s-Body-Odor wants to make a sequel to a movie that was solely about wearing fashionable clothes? Gee, I wonder what the “storyline” for that one will be…

    “It’s the next season so dump that $1500 Prada purse that you just blew your kid’s college tuition on. That old thing is soooooo last movie!”

  3. I hate this show more than I hate shopping.

  4. And I HATE shopping. ESPECIALLY for shoes.

  5. f-bomb says:

    I think my testicles just rode up into my neck.

  6. Bostonlongstroke says:

    NICE!… Will Turbo and Ozone be in the sequel, trying to save a dilapidated catwalk/runway?

  7. Spank Bank Deposit! says:

    The bullshit about these pampered bitches dropping $400 on a pair of SHOES (when the majority of Americans are LOSING THEIR JOBS) makes me sick and in want of giving them a good old fashioned pimp slap to set them straight.

    HOWEVER the naked sex scenes were pretty good and surprisingly worthwile. So if your girlfriend wants to go see it, dude just bite that bullet. Admit it, you’d tap any of those chicks in the movie, if not only to bang and possibly impregnate a rich/famous moviestar. Warning for extreme homophobes though: I’m pretty sure I was the only straight guy in the theater.

  8. UmNo says:

    Uh… No. Why on earth would I want to bang my grandmother? I’m sure Kim Catrall was hot back in the 80′s, or something, but she’s just gross now.