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So Miss California Showed a Titty. So What?

Titties.  To better understand titties, think of titties as you think of homeruns: in the forties and fifties, they were a huge deal.  Then, in the eighties, you saw them all the time, but they were still awesome because they were much more grandiose then the ones from before.  In the nineties, they kind of disappeared for a while, and then all of a sudden there was a titty explosion.  They were everywhere.  People who were never associated with their titties before, due to artificial enhancements, were suddenly known for them.  Slowly but surely, titties and homeruns both lost whatever it was that made them really special.
 
 
So when Carrie Prejean, Miss California 2009, gets stripped of her crown, or sash, or whatever the f*ck she wears that designates her the champ, all because she showed a titty, I have to cry foul.  Now, you may say: "but she’s Miss California.  She needs to be held to a higher standard, because little girls look up to her."  First of all, when I was thirteen I used to jerk of to the Miss America Pageant, and I live by the following rule: if I can jerk off to something, it’s not role model material.  Aside from a drunken night where a picture of Michelle Obama struck me so, I’d say that’s a pretty good rule that hasn’t failed me yet. 
 
 

Secondly, think of every Miss America that you can name.  Here’s my list: Vanessa Willams.  Do you know why I remember her? Because she showed her titties.  There’s an O.J.-sized pile of evidence to prove this: not only showing your titties, but also showing a dude banging you, actually helps your career.
 
 
Obviously, this has a lot to do with exposure.  Miss America doesn’t have a TV show that highlights how fantastic and luxurious her easy life is, now that she’s Miss America.  The closest she gets to the public eye is cutting the ribbon at the opening of a new Community Recycling Center, or being the Grand Marshall of some Corn Festival Parade in Asscrackofnowhere, Iowa.  As a result, little girls don’t look up to Miss America anymore, and if they do everyone goes, "Jesus f*ck, what the hell is that?!  I feel like I need to burn of my f*cking skin now!", because she looks like this:
 
 
No.  Little girls look up to the people on The Hills.  The only place you’ll find a larger group of useless douchebags is in the bathroom trashcan of a sorority house at Arizona State University.  And guess what: the people on that show are either just about to show their titties, or they already have.
 
 
Now, I don’t know Carrie Prejean, and honestly, she seems like kind of a dummy to me. But dummy or not, she won Miss California fair and square; by having really nice titties.  Don’t punish her for that.
 

17 Responses to "So Miss California Showed a Titty. So What?"

  1. noahaction says:

    as someone already mentioned, i don’t think it was the boobies, it was the missing appointments. the worst part of this is that the utterly worthless parasite Perez Hilton gets a stage. since when is it grounds for dismissal when someone openly and honestly voices their opinion? and her semi-nude modeling doesn’t make her a hypocrite in my opinion. she never ranted about christian values – just marriage. its not like she spouted off on values and then you found out she was addicted to vicodin, or had a gambling problem, or was having an affair, or was pregnant and not married.

    and i cannot agree more with the glorification of narcissism in the last 5-10 years. utterly worthless people become ‘celebrities’ with absolutely no redeeming qualities (other than boobs or course) or anything to offer. WTF? fuck i’m getting old and dangerously close to becoming my father.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Who cares..

    electronic cigarette

  3. Anonymous says:

    She Broke her contract
    if you sign a contract and break it
    prepare for the consequences!!!!

  4. Anonymous says:

    She was fired for not showing up for events, not the nudity thing.

  5. Tovarich Bujarrín says:

    Michelle Obama! What kind of perversion is that?

  6. AnonymousG says:

    I actually own that Mark McGwire card…is it worth anything holytacoers?

  7. Mr. Squishypants says:

    I’ll give you 2 vials of Winstrol, 2 vials of Dianabol and a bottle of andro for it.

  8. justin says:
    Audrina Patridge.  Google image search.
  9. Chilly Chill says:

    who is that at the bottom with her titties out in the jacuzzi and where can i see them with out the pixels?

  10. Anonymous says:

    dammit taco, why did have to give this broad more publicity?

    if you wanted to show some tities, should of just shown us a ton of titties with the headline

    “So Miss California Showed a Titty. So What?”

  11. Anonymous says:

    BOOBIES!

  12. Dick Tucker says:

    Your role model rule doesn’t work for me. I’ve been jacking off to Sandra Day O’Connor for years.

  13. Shizzire says:

    I don’t believe his second question was answered with an easily followable link. Someone else please help us lazy people that don’t know how to use Google?

  14. Anonymous says:

    bravo sir, bravo

  15. mcrapey says:

    yo, chilly chill. I was wondering the same thing. When I find out I’m mozy over to google and turn safe search off.

  16. best tatas says:

    You mean she wasnt fired for running her mouth about how she is against gay marriage (so am I but I tend to know when to stfu), or for not appearing at events that Miss CA is obligated to make? Not real tatas anyways, she is fake inside and out.

    I didnt really give a damn about this, Im so sick of hearing her and Perez run thier mouths I hope we never hear of her again.

  17. ilikedginger says:

    From what I understand, Trump was perfectly ok with the titties.