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Stephen Hawking Isn’t As Smart As We Thought

stephen hawking no god

World-famous physicist Stephen Hawking is considered by many to be the smartest man alive. Not only did he spend 30 years as the Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge, a post once held by Isaac Newton, but he also has a really cool robot voice. However, it appears that Hawking probably isn’t as sharp as we previously thought.

In his latest book, "The Grand Design," Hawking argues that God does not exist, and that there was no need for a higher power in the creation of the universe.

Spontaneous creation is the reason why there is something rather than nothing, why the universe exists, why we exist. It is not necessary to invoke God to light the blue touch paper [fuse] and set the universe going.

Now before we go any further, keep in mind I’m not agreeing or disagreeing with his (or your) beliefs on the matter. Far be it from me, a guy who writes dick jokes for a living, to weigh in on such a lofty subject. But what I do have a problem with is the reasoning behind his belief, and the amount of time it took him to reach this conclusion.

atheism funny poster

Hawking claims to have lost any faith in the idea of a higher power in 1992, after the existence of a solar system besides our own was confirmed for the first time.

(The other solar system) makes the coincidences of our planetary conditions — the single Sun, the lucky combination of Earth-Sun distance and solar mass, far less remarkable, and far less compelling evidence that the Earth was carefully designed just to please us human beings.

So, let me get this straight. It took the existence of another solar system billions of miles from our own to cement in his mind that there’s not a big dude in the sky watching over us. That seems a bit excessive. If he really wanted to go the "no God" route, I think he could have started a little closer to home. For example, what about the fact that he’s CONFINED TO A F*CKING WHEELCHAIR?

My faith in God is tested every time I see will.I.am on TV. I can only imagine what my thought process would be if, through no fault of my own, my mind was trapped in a useless shell for 50 years. Why would a higher power play such a cruel joke? That seems like a better starting point for his lack of faith than some bundle of rock and gas floating around off in the cosmos.

And what’s even more disturbing is the fact that he was 50 by the time he made up his mind. It took him 50 friggen years to reach a conclusion most smug atheists come to after attending a freshman philosophy class. What was the friggen hold up, Stevie?

Again, if religion is your thing, don’t sweat it. There’s a lot going on in this dude’s life that could have easily swung him the other way. For one thing, he was suppose to have died in his early 20s, and now he’s pushing 70. That’s nothing short of miraculous (unless it isn’t). But what’s even more impressive is that this dude has been married…twice! Granted, the first wife was on board before he became Robocop. But the second one married him well after he was sick. In fact, Hawking stole her away from the guy who designed the computer that allows him to talk. Talk about balls of steel! Sure, they got divorced too, but I still have a hard time wrapping my head around that one without thinking a higher power was involved.

Then again, the smartest man in the world went through the hell that is marriage twice. What kind of God would allow that? More importantly, why would the smartest man in the world not learn after the first time. It just goes to show that Hawking probably isn’t as sharp as we previously thought. (Source)

43 Responses to "Stephen Hawking Isn’t As Smart As We Thought"

  1. pratik says:

    Carlin prayed to Joe Pesci, not the sun.

  2. Justin Bieber (but my fans call me "JB") says:

    Repetition doesn’t do anything, you could “pray” that he/she comes back.

    Oh wait, that doesn’t really work now does it…..

  3. Wow says:

    It’s funny to see all the knee-jerk atheists commenting. Obviously they were too busy sniffing their own farts to read the article.

  4. crackermonkey says:

    Well said, author of this article…bravo.

  5. Tubs McFatfuck says:

    Holy Taco fucking sucks now. What happened to this place ? Oh well, won’t be back

  6. HOLY TACO SUCKS says:

    “Far be it from me, a guy who writes dick jokes for a living, to weigh in on such a lofty subject.” YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT IT AT THAT.

  7. PooDiddy says:

    I’m sold. Gonna start praying to Hawking instead of the sun now. At least Hawking never gave anyone cancer.

  8. 42 says:

    The dumbest thing I’ve ever read on Holy Taco.

  9. uAREdumUareREALLYdumFAREAL says:


  10. donny says:

    holytaco sucks now this is a smug article. i’d trust hawking before a pedo any day

  11. an atheist says:

    Sounds like Hawkings reasons are perfectly valid to me.

  12. Ian Fortey says:
    No!  Come back!  We’ll use smaller words, we swear!
  13. Ian Fortey says:
    No!  Come back!  We’ll use smaller words, we swear!
  14. skinny cat says:

    epic george carlin!

  15. Anonymous IV says:

    the fact that you just called peoples’ deitie(s) a flying spaghetti monster proves you are not open minded at all.

    in short: FAIL

    - 10,000 INTERNETZ

  16. steven hawkings says:

    keep believing in your flying spaghetti monster. Don’t fault others for being more open minded than yourself.

  17. Another fail. says:

    theres a “religion” that believes in a flying spaghetti monster.. just fyi

  18. kdon27 says:

    There will be war with or without God or religion. Some humans love to fight (case in point, the comments on this article) and some just love to kill people in the name of whatever. If there was no religion, they’d fight over who gets the last bagel or something or other.

    One thing that has convinced me there is a God is the question “why?”. Why all of this? Why the universe, why it’s laws, why us? Why did we come in to existence? And what is the purpose of existence anyway?

    But I digress. Bottomline is some believe in God and some don’t. Let’s stop fighting and just get the frick along.

  19. JDawg says:

    I hate all the orphans in the world…

  20. S1cIC 0n3 says:

    they taste better with a little bit of crushed basil and cardamom seed

  21. lydz says:

    and how do you know this!!?!?!?! is there any true evidence for this…nope…you have failed

  22. Billy-Bob says:

    Agnosticism rules… if someone cared.

  23. Justin Bieber (but my fans call me "JB") says:

    people who believe in god are as stupid as I am gay

  24. Jules Beam says:

    Some humans just made this shit up…period.

  25. Djstewie says:

    Holy Taco just got Holy on us – see ya, won’t ever be back

  26. Does it feel good to be stupid? says:

    Did I seriously just read that? His reasoning behind coming to his decision is quite clear. Well unless you are some red neck hick who thinks Jesus rode dinosaurs.

    What an idiot you are.

  27. Wut says:

    God is science

  28. G G says:

    Is there any evidence that this fucker called god exist ?
    No, so why don’t you stop all the wars because of religion. Cunt.

  29. coconut (-_-) says:

    you’ve got it all wrong, justin beiber isn’t gay, she is a lesbian

  30. YO MOMMA says:

    Whoever wrote this just got my nomination for biggest douche in the universe

  31. 123Anonymous321 says:

    This article and it’s author are retarded. Go die in a fire, perhaps your god will light a shrub for you.

  32. Anymouse says:

    Just accept it, there is no god…

  33. cynical says:

    obvious troll is obvious

  34. itsgalf says:

    wow, what a bunch of faggots. Stop crying just because there is a semi-pro God article.

  35. Anonymous Athiest says:

    Is Holy Taco trolling it’s own comments? If i wanted musing on the existence of god I’d go else where.

  36. Jesus' Raptor Steed says:

    Gee, who knew anytime someone dissents from a single Atheists opinion on God, you are automatically a bible thumping idiot? Even if you Atheists get it right, no one likes neck bearded mouth breathing internet trolls. Continue to bask in the radiance of your collection of New Atheist literature, while all the ignorant fools remain unconvinced non-douches.

  37. Jules Beam says:

    Jesus’ Raptor Steed – “no one likes neck bearded mouth breathing internet trolls”

    Jesus – he has arisen!

  38. Smarter than you says:

    fu*k you f*ck-knot.
    The fact that you are alive is proof enough that God does not exist.

  39. idiots says:

    just cause he doesn’t believe in a higher power doesn’t mean hes any less smart. just because people feel a certain way about higher powers in the universe doesn’t mean that every one feels the same way.

  40. Ian Fortey says:
    Hanuman the Monkey God damn you all!
  41. im not a jerk says:

    I just wrote a huge post about how much this article sucks but it didnt show up what a waste of time i suck balls

  42. God is a fairy tale character says:

    horrible article. you have failed

  43. atonal says:

    hahahaha in the end of your observartion you make it seem like you do give a shit…….but it is a good way to stir shit up amongs people…. genius!!!!!!!