When you’re a wealthy rock star life can be very very difficult. And when you’re a wealthy rock star who needs foot surgery, then there’s only one place to recover from…ummm, foot surgery…USA Today reports:
Steven Tyler checked into a rehab facility in search of a “safe environment” to recover from several foot surgeries and physical therapy, the Aerosmith frontman said in a statement Thursday.
“The doctors told me the pain in my feet could be corrected but it would require a few surgeries over time,” Tyler said in the statement. “The ‘foot repair’ pain was intense, greater than I’d anticipated. The months of rehabilitative care and the painful strain of physical therapy were traumatic. I really needed a safe environment to recuperate where I could shut off my phone and get back on my feet.”
Yeeeaahhhh, foot surgery. Sure. I mean, wealthy rock stars need a really safe and calm environment to get over something as vicious as a foot surgery. And we all know it would be impossible to find a safe and/or calm little spot in any of his many 40,000 square foot mansions.
And being the powerful rock star that Steven Tyler is, there’s no way he can just “turn off his phone” if he’s at home. No way, man. (You probably don’t know this, but Verizon has a device in all their phones where the off button doesn’t work until you physically check into a Betty Ford clinic.) And if he doesn’t turn off his phone, how do you expect him to get over foot surgery? All that talking on the phone is probably what screwed up his…feet…in the first place.
And if you believe that, I want you to know that I need a few kilos of cocaine to recover from combing my hair.