5 Non-SuperBowl Bowl Games We’d Like To See

The big game this Sunday is going to be padded with advertisements, gimmicks and promos. They’re half the reason for even paying attention to the game. The PR stunts we’re particularly into are the alternate fake games, like the puppy bowl, the lingerie bowl and the bud light bowl, etc. Those games are fun to watch and all, but we definitely think it’s time to switch it up a bit. Here’s a few fake bowl games we’d like to propose to the anti-football public…

The Internet Cat Meme Bowl

In this epic feline battle, we’re pitting LOL Cats against Bread Cats. LOL Cats have the upper hand, if for no other reason than they’re the most popular, but let’s not underestimate the Bread Cats. They’re a fresh, young meme, and they’re pretty amusing. This would be an intense four quarters, without a doubt.

The Teen Mom Bowl

Since we’re all ok with exploiting teen pregnancy and teen moms now, let’s take it to the next level. Picture it, the classy ladies from various seasons of MTV’s “Teen Mom,” pitted against each other in a head to head battle for full, but unjustified custody of their wanted/unwanted children! High stakes, aggressive players, and lots of hair-pulling. This is literally a million-dollar idea.

The Nicki Minaj Butt Bowl

Nicki Minaj’s butt has the strength and skill of ten NFL linemen. This oddly sexy bowl game wouldn’t be much of a competition at all, because it would just be Nicki Minaj trying to catch a football with her butt.

The GOP Candidate Bowl

In this game, the four top, remaining GOP candidates play a few rounds of “fumble rumble.” Each one trying to strip the ball from the other. No teams, one winner, who still loses. It’s essentially a more formal, physical version of what they’ve been doing with their words for the last few months. This game of skill and physical ability will really show us who the Alpha Republican is!

The Paula Deen Bowl

1. Mix six pounds of sugar and fifteen cups of butter
2. Add vanilla for flavoring
3. Stir thoroughly over low heat for fifteen minutes
4. Add gravy
5. Continue stirring
6. Add one whole chicken’s worth of chicken skin

Combine contents in a bowl and serve to enemies.