Switzerland has long been home to extremely pale people, chocolate, cuckoo clocks, doing nothing during war time, and a crazy obsession with peace that we in the states can’t seem to understand. But now the Swiss have something else that they can add to their flag, assuming that they actually had clocks and chocolate and hiding in a corner while everyone around them dies on their flag in the first place: designated areas that you can have sex in.
The streets of Zurich are apparently so choked with stalled cars stuffed with people just trying to get each other off, most of whom are paying prostitutes to do this, that city officials have thrown in the towel and have waved their crunchy, off-white flag. With prostitution levels so high and so many people pulling over to have sex while parked at a meter, Zurich is installing the so called “sex boxes” so people and their whores have a place to park that shades the view of their raucous banging and weird tongue stuff from people that got royally screwed by their realtors and live within close proximity to the red light district.
The sex boxes themselves (pictured above) look like a hybrid between a parking space and those public bathroom urinals with the separators that protect homophobes from feeling gay. It’s your own little closet of debauchery that is big enough for your car, but too small for your shame.
This is an idea that we at Holy Taco can wholeheartedly get behind, and we’ll even get it from the front, because unimaginative sexual innuendo is our thing. But we can’t help but think that “sex box” is such an unattractive name. Why not the Quickie Mart? Or the Cum and Go? Or the Herpes Complex?
Missed opportunities abound.