Great news for those of you who like to drink until seven a.m.: Taco Bell is adding breakfast items to their menu! Since most Taco Bell is consumed in the wee hours of the morning, we kind of already considered their entire menu breakfast food, but now it’s official. Pretty soon, if all goes well in the test markets (which we assume is just a compound full of iron-stomached midwestern orphans with low I.Q.’s), every Taco Bell will have breakfast options. By 2014. As in two years from now.
It’s going to take two years for taco bell to figure out how best to put an egg mixture (made with four percent real eggs) into the same three types of tortilla shell they’ve had for eternity. That seems like a really long time to come to some really simple conclusions. If you want to turn something into breakfast, you some combination of eggs, bacon, cheese and/or sausage into it. That’s how it works.
Taco Bell plans on offering the following items for their breakfast menu:
- burritos stuffed with eggs and either sausage, bacon or steak
- sausage and egg wraps
- hash browns
- hot or iced coffee
- and orange juice
That’s going to take them the next two years to add to the menu. Which is reasonable if you consider the fact that they’re going to have to design eggs, sausage and bacon that can legally be labeled as such. They’ll also take some time to name those products, using hybrid Spanish terms, so that people can order them even if they’re drunk.
So, if you’re one of those people who likes to have something to look forward to that’s almost light years away, there it is. Taco Bell breakfast. Two years from now you’ll be able to wake up, or sober up, stumble to your nearest Taco Bell, look an angry teenager in the eye and get yourself a hearty breakfast. Here’s to the future!