Keeley Hazell is the English version of…enormous boobs. Apparently this London photo shoot is for some new men’s body spray. Which might explain why there are three googly-eyed statues standing behind her. Or it might not explain anything and leave you wondering why the hell there are three googly-eyed statues standing behind her with they’re hands raised like they are going to come to life and stab her. Way to go, English people. First you screwed up the empire and now you’ve screwed up your own version of enormous boobs. Now I see why we started our own country.