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Asante Samuel Makes Tom Brady Cry

Asante Samuel Makes Tom Brady Cry

The last time we saw Asante Samuel, he was dropping a game ending interception in the Super Bowl.  Apparently he feels like he needs to punish himself for that mistake, so he signed with the Philadelphia Eagles.  Yahoo sports reports: Philadelphia …

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People Want To Do Ellen Page

People Want To Do Ellen Page

The Holy Taco readers have spoken and with almost 18,000 votes cast, a vast majority of you want to do Ellen Page, the chick from Juno who portrayed someone who was in HIGH SCHOOL.  Seriously people, what’s wrong with you?  You sicken me. Any…

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Friday Link Dump

Friday Link Dump

– I’m pretty sure Samuel L. Jackson would be REALLY pissed off if he saw

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Angelina Jolie Buys Penis Gum For Her Kid

Angelina Jolie Buys Penis Gum For Her Kid

I’ve been around enough kids to know that the only way to get them to shut up is to buy them shit. So I applaud Angelina Jolie for this: After treating her son Maddox to a screening of The Spiderwick Chronicles at Hollywood’s ArcLight …

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Celebrities LOVE Barack Obama

Celebrities LOVE Barack Obama

Look, I like Barack Obama but for the love of God, he didn’t create the universe. I was half way expecting to see someone saying “I had third degree burns over 90% of my body. Barack Obama gave me his feces and I rubbed it all over my…

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Creepy or Sexy? The Olsen Twins

Creepy or Sexy? The Olsen Twins

Remember when the Olsen Twins were getting ready to turn 18? There was chaos in the streets, men were visibly weeping and Jesus himself was shitting his pants. But now, when I look at them I sometimes see either Gollum or one of those troll dolls w…

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Drink This: Lucid Absinthe

Drink This: Lucid Absinthe

Absinthe is back. After being banned for nearly 100 years, the mythical licorice-flavored spirit is now legally sold in both the US and Europe and it’s your duty to see what all the fuss is about. But first, a history lesson. The legend that …

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How To: Get Laid In 40 Seconds

How To: Get Laid In 40 Seconds

   Buy some rubbers and get some ointment for that rash. We’re gonna get you some sex,fast. 1. Always be ready If you’re going to get laid in less than a minute, you need to look like a guy who can get laid in less than a minute. So make…

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Kate Beckinsale Loves Her Bits

Kate Beckinsale Loves Her Bits

Sometimes you just love your genitals so much you have to tell Allure magazine about it. According to egotastic.com: Speaking to Allure magazine, Kate Beckinsale reveals: “I’ve only ever had about three boyfriends. Only a handful of peo…

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Tom Cruise Has Gift For J-Lo

Tom Cruise Has Gift For J-Lo

Jennifer Lopez and that weird thing she’s married to have had their kids. Now it’s presents time. But what will all their celebrity friends get them? “Jennifer and Marc have been bowled over with so many congratulations messages…

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Chevy Tahoe Hybrid

Chevy Tahoe Hybrid

Alright, it’s a Friday night. You’ve just done back and bi’s at the gym. You and some of the other super sweet bros from the sales team want to cruise for some special ladies. You need a car that will not only make you look coo…

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