a letter to – Holytaco

A Letter To Activia, The Bowel-Shattering Yogurt

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Hey, Activia. For the past couple of years I’ve watched your Jamie Lee Curtis commercials and never cared one way or another about your existence. Yogurt isn’t really one of those things a person can get amped up about. Sure, you can cr…

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A Letter To The Guy Navigating His Massive Truck Through A Tiny Parking Lot

posted 09/24/2010
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Hey, Guy Navigating His Massive Truck Through A Tiny Parking Lot I’ll bet you have a tiny penis. I know, I know, it’s a common slanderous comment used to put down people that own and operate extremely large vehicles. But it might be tru…

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A Letter To The Kid In Halo Multiplayer That Keeps Calling Me A Fag

posted 09/17/2010
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Hello, Kid In Halo Multiplayer That Keeps Calling Me A Fag I can see that you are very excited to have gotten your hands on Halo: Reach. It is a very fun game, especially when it’s played with friends. And, oh, hey, that reminds me, rem…

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A Letter To The Person Talking Loudly On Their Cell Phone In Public

posted 09/10/2010
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Hello, Person Talking Loudly On Their Cell Phone In Public I understand your call is important to you, but unless you’re currently trying to convince Dennis Hopper from Speed not to detonate the bomb on a bus lest a dozen people will die, the…

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A Letter To The Guy That Rides His Motorcycle Down My Street At 3 A.M.

posted 09/03/2010
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Dear, Guy That Rides His Motorcycle Down My Street At 3 A.M. I can only assume that your crotch rocket is a source of great pride for you, and you feel the only way to make the world fully aware of your pride for a bicycle that can go fast is ridin…

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A Thank You Letter To Garbage Truck Snail Trails

posted 08/27/2010
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Dear, Garbage Truck Snail Trails My car’s air conditioner is broken and, seeing as it’s summer, it get’s abnormally hot in my car. This is why I would like to thank you, Garbage Truck Snail Trails, for being the slimy streak of go…

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A Thank You Letter To Painful Bowel Movements

posted 08/20/2010
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Dear, Painful Bowel Movements Hey, you know one thing I love about life? Waking up in the morning, having a cup of coffee, taking a few drags off of a cigarette, then getting a peculiar sensation in my bowels that can only be described as poop samu…

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A Letter To That Guy That Keeps Staring At Me From Across The Room

posted 07/30/2010
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Hello, Guy That Keeps Staring At Me From Across The Room I noticed that whenever I look up, I see you staring at me before your eyes dart away to your Sudoku puzzle. While I am well aware that I am impossibly good looking, I don’t see that as…

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A Letter To The Guy That Says “LOL In Real World Conversations

posted 07/23/2010
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Hey, Guy That Says LOL In Real World Conversation We love the fact that you were amused by that thing we said. Not to be self-aggrandizing about it, but yeah; that thing we said was pretty witty and clever, and it warranted a laugh, or at least a k…

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A Letter To Activia, The Bowel-Shattering Yogurt

A Letter To The Guy Navigating His Massive Truck Through A Tiny Parking Lot

A Letter To The Kid In Halo Multiplayer That Keeps Calling Me A Fag

A Letter To The Person Talking Loudly On Their Cell Phone In Public

A Letter To The Guy That Rides His Motorcycle Down My Street At 3 A.M.

A Thank You Letter To Garbage Truck Snail Trails

A Thank You Letter To Painful Bowel Movements

A Letter To That Guy That Keeps Staring At Me From Across The Room

A Letter To The Guy That Says “LOL In Real World Conversations

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