Philip Rivers Doesn’t Like Poontang

Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers wants the children of the world to keep their peepees and their poontangs in their pants. Because, according to him, chastity is a “lost art.” Uhh, sure Phil. Getting kids to abstain from sex is like trying to make a monkey fuck a football. It’s a nice thought, but I’ve never seen it happen. The only kids who go to these chastity conferences are usually 14-year-old moms or little boys who are trying to pray themselves straight. Oh, and mega nerds like Philip Rivers.

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