Naomi Campbell Carries Bat, Scares Children

This photo is of Professional backyard brawler and sometimes supermodel Naomi Campbell.  She’s shooting a scene for the television show “Ugly Betty.”  This is what I hate about the entertainment industry, you can throw shit at your housekeeper or assistant, physically assault people and just be a general total and complete piece of shit, and people will not only continue to give you work, but magazines will celebrate how adorable it is you’re playing a softball player on a television show.  She’s not even that hot.  She looks like a transvestite spider.  Anyway, I digress.

I think the plot of this episode is that there’s a softball game between the Ugly Betty chick’s fashion magazine and Naomi Campbell’s fashion magazine.  If there’s a God, (which, the mere fact that Ugly Betty is a show on a major network confirms there’s not) this episode would feature Betty hiring Cardinals slugger Albert Pujols to bat for her in her place with the game on the line, and it would result in this in the first inning:

and this in the bottom of the ninth:

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Albert Pujols Has A Cousin Named Harry Pujols

We can’t think of better news to welcome back baseball.

A reader who wanted to remain anonymous sent in this photo. Apparently Cardinals slugger Albert Pujols (pronounced “poo-holes”) has a cousin named Harry Pujols, pictured above. That’s right, Harry Pujols. If I were him I might want to be referred to as “Harold Pujols” or even “Hank Pujols.” If you don’t think this is real, check this pic out on the site where it came from. Not to mention our reader has seen Harry Pujols in person. God, it’s like you can put his name in any sentence and it’s instantly hilarious.

Although, Albert’s so surly, maybe Harry is the fun-loving, jokester Pujols. I need to meet the entire Pujols clan, because if they’re capable of naming their kid Harry, I can only hope that there’s a “Stinky Pujols” somewhere in the Dominican Republic.

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