Personally, I think American Idol is for deaf retards. Apparently they switched up the judging process last night and instead of commenting on each individual performer, the judges had to make their insightful critiques after everyone had performed. And as usual, Paula Abdul’s brain couldn’t handle the added pressure. She couldn’t remember if the guy in the dreadlocks sang one or two songs and then started reading the wrong notes. C’mon, Paula. If you know you’re going to be on TV, maybe you shouldn’t snort that 5th Xanax and vodka shooter right before airtime. Maybe you should try doing stuff, ya know, sober sometimes.
This video takes about 40 seconds to really get going, but it’s well worth the wait. Apparently this guy is named Trifon. He’s a croissant maker and contestant on Bulgaria’s version of American Idol who really thinks he can sing and dance like Michael Jackson. But the best part is, he can’t. Which somehow has made him an overnight sensation in the Southeastern European nation. Basically, he’s the new William Hung, if William Hung thought he was Michael Jackson and was Bulgarian.
Katharine McPhee married her 42-year-old boyfriend Nick Something Or Other last Saturday:
“(Nick) is the love of my life,” McPhee gushed to PEOPLE. “This is a once in a lifetime occasion and everything is just perfect.”
McPhee wore a strapless ivory Manuel Mota gown and Neil Lane jewels (diamond and platinum chandelier earrings and diamond and platinum bracelets), while Cokas wore an Armani tuxedo. Fellow season five Idol contestants Kellie Pickler and Mandisa were among the 305 guests on hand for the nuptials.
I don’t want to rain on her love parade, but when a 23-year-old marries a 42-year-old, it usually doesn’t end in storybook fashion. In fact, if it doesn’t end in divorce…it ends in a funeral.
Holy Taco has seen the future and it’s full of boodthirsty robots and babies wielding rocket launchers. There’s a lot screaming and crying and tears. It’s pretty bad, now that I think about it. BUT! There is one silver lining. This girl Kady Malloy is probably going to win American Idol because she’s smoking hot, she’s really good looking, she has a great body and she can maybe sing (I wasn’t really listening to that part.) And once she wins, there will be way more of her on your TV screen. To take your mind off the robots, check out more of her at Chickipedia.com.
Sadly, American Idol wasn’t all Kady Malloys. There was also this guy named Bruce. He’s 19 and he’s never kissed a girl because he made a promise to his dad that he would save himself until his wedding day. To prove it, he has a necklace that has a key and HIS DAD has another necklace with a heart. When Bruce finds the girl (or guy?) he feels is the one, his dad will give the heart necklace to the girl (or guys?). Why is a father holding a heart necklace for his 19-year-old son? Well, I think it’s because he’s gay for his son. But who am I to judge? See for yourself:
She came in second to Taylor Hicks, but when was the last time you saw Taylor draped over a blood-red satin curtain while wearing an outfit that my gay neighbor would call “fabulous”? (Don’t answer that, it was a rehtorical question.) My point is, Taylor sucks and Katherine McPhee is hot.
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