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The Morning Jolt: This Man Judges a Singing Competition

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Makes you proud, doesn’t it? especially if you’re a screech owl.

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American Idol: 28 Days Later

mccreery zombies

On May 25th, 2011, Scotty McCreery won American Idol. Four days late for an Apocalypse ain’t so bad. June 22, 2001 “Baby lock them doors and turn the lights down low.” The doors are locked. There are no lights. I’m disgusted that the words are …

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Anatomy of an American Idol Contestant

american idol anatomy male

American Idol season whatever is winding down soon and that means auditions will start again soon because nothing stops the Juggernaut, except for low revenue stream and that hasn’t happened yet. if you’re either a professional Idol wat…

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Infuriatingly Talented Kids

Talented Kids

One thing that truly infuriates adults who have spent their lives failing at things is incredibly talented kids. You can go ahead and assume that this article was written out of spite and frustration, and that I, the author, am rather immature. Wit…

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8 Things I Hope to See on American Idol

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It’s a new season of American Idol and that means . The noteworthy aspect of this season is that the show has been picked apart like the body of the girl who foolishly went topless in a zombie movie. Gone are Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, Ellen Dege…

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An Open Letter to Aerosmith’s Joe Perry

An Open Letter to Aerosmith’s Joe Perry

Dear Joe Perry, In a recent interview with the Calgary Herald (whatever the hell that is), you criticized fellow band member Steven Tyler for his plans to become a judge on "American Idol." You implied that back when Aerosmith was formed…

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Inner Monologue of Steven Tyler on his First Day of Idol Tryouts

Inner Monologue of Steven Tyler on his First Day of Idol Tryouts

Hello American Idoooooooooooooooooooooooooooool! Yeah! Alright! Yeah… So this is new. Yeah! How’s everyone feeling tonight? Yeah! Man, this stage is small. It’s like just a room. I have a room like this in my house. Cal…

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Totally BS Profile of Kimberly Caldwell

Totally BS Profile of Kimberly Caldwell

  Every day here at Holy Taco has been a learning process since we’ve come aboard.  For example, did you know that managing editor Ian Fortey laughs whenever he reads the word "come?"  That’s twice now.  Se…

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Indian Idol Has A Smaller Budget

Indian Idol Has A Smaller Budget

  Shevil, Shevil, Rock You!   This Girls Got a Strong Vag (TotalProSports) The Ipad Skateboard (Gorillamask) Mini Dwight Schrute (BuzzFeed) Most Embarassing Atheletes Ever (BleacherReport) Hot Chicks Invade Iraq (Coed) Sexy Girls of Cinco…

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The Worst Day Of Their Lives

The Worst Day Of Their Lives

    I don’t think you ever really get over something like this.   via Unique Daily

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Ruben Studdard Wins Jail Time

Ruben Studdard Wins Jail Time

Mother nature planned well. In the wild, if an animal is small and weak, it most likely has some other defense mechanism to protect itself, like shooting a disgusting spray that disables you, or being incredibly fast and having markings that help …

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