Kanye West Arrested At Airport

Going through the process of trying to get on an airplane sucks. You have to stand around quietly for a long time, then somebody yells at you to take your shoes off. If there was an old italian couple next to you who complained about minorities moving in to their neighborhood, it’d basically be my aunt’s house. So it doesn’t surprise me that Kanye West lost his cool and attacked a Paparazzi while at the airport. Usmagazine.com reports:

Kanye West has been arrested for felony vandalism at L.A.’s LAX Airport, according to TMZ.com

A still photographer was trying to take photos of the rapper at the American Airlines terminal Thursday morning when he confronted the photographer and smashed his camera to the ground, the site reports.

Ah, the standard “paparazzi camera smash.” I wonder if before there were cameras, George Washington or somebody would be followed around by reporters and all of a sudden get annoyed when they’re like “George, George, you look so good! Is Martha with child? Turn this way so we can draw you!” and George would politely turn, but be annoyed and then some reporter would jump in front of him in a really startling manner and start drawing him and GW would flip out and break the dude’s pencil in half. Those are the things I wonder about. Anyway, Kanye gave a great sound bite apparently:

TMZ reports that when West realized the photographer had videotaped the incident, he yelled, “Gimme that f—-g tape!”

Hmm, maybe this wasn’t about being bothered by the paparazzi, maybe they just took a tape out of Kanye’s bag and he was pissed. I wonder if the police confiscated this as evidence:

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Snoop Dogg Caught With Weed? Whaaa?

Here’s how you know cops are really, really, really, bored:

Snoop Dogg’s tour bus was stopped by police yesterday afternoon,
and two of the singer’s entourage were arrested for marijuana possession.

In an unrelated story, a new study finds that men masturbate.

Actually, I find this story pretty shocking. How did they only find two ounces of weed on his bus? I feel like that much falls out when you open the door. If they only found two ounces, that means he was hiding another 198 ounces somewhere else. I couldn’t figure out where, until I saw this family photo:

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Andy Dick Loves Peeing & Groping

Some things I just can’t wait for, like masturbating and…well, pretty much just masturbating. Another highly anticipated moment for me is the next Andy Dick news item. Christmas has just come in July because Andy Penis got arrested early this morning for several things outside of L.A. (Is it just me, or does he look like Satan in that picture?)

From MSN:

Police were called to the Buffalo Wild Wings in Murrieta at about 1:13 a.m. to investigate a report of “an intoxicated male” urinating outside the bar and causing a disturbance, according to a police statement.

When they arrived, a 17-year-old girl told police that she was outside when Dick left the bar, walked up, “grabbed her tank top and bra and pulled them down and exposed her breasts,” the statement said.

Friends escorted Dick to a truck, which officers stopped at a nearby Sam’s Club, police said.

Marijuana and the drug Xanax were found his pants pockets during a search and he appeared “extremely intoxicated,” police said.

What is it with this guy and pissing and groping everywhere he goes? Sure, I’ve peed outside a bar in the middle of the night while I was totally wasted and even let loose a revenge piss in the drawers of someone’s armoire I had to move up three flights of stairs when I was delivering furniture, but this guy is gunning for some sort of world record. He got nailed for peeing last year on the sidewalk in Columbus, Ohio and on the floor of the bathroom at the comedy club he was working at — and he pissed on a person. Seriously, if Andy Dick pissed on me, there are only three possible outcomes:

1) I immediately die of alcohol poisoning.
2) I ride the stream of his urine into the seventh ring of hell.
3) There’s no shower nearby and I’m forced to hang myself with my belt.

Although I will say that if he had peed on Ivanka Trump when he was on Kimmel instead of touching her, that would have made my year.

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Cops Get Nasty With Miss Nevada

Former Miss Nevada Katie Rees (pictured here after a passerby accidentally dropped a contact lens down Rees’ pants) is back in trouble. Associated Press reports:

The former Miss Nevada USA was held for about 12 hours in Clark County jail after police said she was stopped while driving about 3 a.m. Wednesday and became physically aggressive toward a Las Vegas police officer.

If I had a nickel for every time I saw a porno that started like that, I’d be rich. Wait… doing the math…. actually I’d have $12.45. Anyway, Rees’ lawyer Mario Torres says the cops used too much force.

“Based on the information I’ve received, the officer was very aggressive with her. They used aggression against her,” says Torres.

He went on to say “They were aggressively aggressing her and then they picked up an aggression and beat her over the aggression with it, very aggressively.”

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