Posts Tagged ‘ass’
June 11th, 2008 | 07:48
What is Kim Kardashian hiding in her pants? Because I’m pretty sure it’s not an ass. No ass is that large (unless it’s on a 400-pound Jerry Springer contestant.) I’m guessing she’s hiding something like a car or a turbine engine or a gas grill or Wyoming back there. I’m afraid that one day we’re going to find out that Kim has been diagnosed with two 85-pound ass tumors and all that big, meaty sexiness in her behind will turn out to be something really unsexy like cancer or melanoma. Then the government would make September “National Ass Cancer Tumor Month” or some shit like that and we’d all have to go jog in 5ks for charity or wear ass-colored wristbands to help find a cure and then there’d be a telethon where celebrities sing songs for Kim and there would be a lot of “Ass Awareness” PSAs and…where was I? Oh, right, I hope that never happens.
Other Stuff
Bert and Ernie are Superbad (gorillamask)
Woman In Antarctica Opens Door To Hell (doubleviking)
Drunken Heather Locklear Flashes Gang Signs (cameltap)
ass,
kim kardashian
May 8th, 2008 | 07:22
Finally, some science I can get behind. According to Reuters.com:
CHICAGO (Reuters) - A type of fat that accumulates around the hips and bottom may actually offer some protection against diabetes, U.S. researchers said on Tuesday.
Kahn said he started the study to find out why fat located in different parts of the body seems to have different risks of metabolic disease such as diabetes.
Mice that got subcutaneous fat transplanted into their bellies started to slim down after several weeks.
“If we can capture those (substances), we might have an opportunity to convert them into drugs or use them as guides to help develop drugs,” he said.
Wow. I have seen the future and it is full of commercials for pharmaceuticals that will give the world slim waistlines and great big phat asses. It’s like we’ll all be living in one big hip-hop video…or Kim Kardashian’s sex tape. I can not wait. I wonder what they’re going to call these new drugs? Assiphlax? Derrivere? Viassgra? Whatever it’s going to be called, I think I finally have something to look forward to (besides Judge Judy reruns). Thank you, science.
via jezebel.com
ass,
kim kardashian,
scientists
April 3rd, 2008 | 06:10
Age: 27 (about the same age as Gisele)
Where you’ve seen her ass: It’s usually seen hanging out with Tom Brady’s ass (which, hopefully, will never be featured on HolyTaco.)
Tantalizing tidbit: Worth an estimated $150 million, Gisele’s ass is one of the richest asses in the world. When asked about its popularity, Gisele’s ass responded, “Hang on. I have to take a shit.”
ass,
gisele bundchen,
taco belle
March 24th, 2008 | 09:49
This photo of New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick staring at an ass at an NIT basketball game leaves me with a few questions. They are, in order of importance:
1. Why is Bill staring at that dumpy ass?
2. Is Bill trying to figure out if that’s a guy’s or a girl’s ass?
3. Do you think Bill’s bright-green hat says “I Loves Me Some Ass Staring”?
4. How long did Bill stare at that ass? (I hope it was 4 minutes.)
5. Is Bill holding a pile of shit in his hands?
If anyone has any answers to these questions, please let me know.
ass,
bill belichick,
New England Patriots,
nfl,
sports
February 14th, 2008 | 09:25
I’m not a very religious person, but I truly believe that each one of us has a gift. For example, Stephen Hawking was given the gift of intelligence. Michael Jordan was given the gift of athletic ability. And Kim Kardashian was given the gift of a hilariously huge ass. We shouldn’t take these gifts for granted. In fact, I think we should all take a moment to celebrate our differences and reflect on our own special gifts…by looking at photos of Kim’s great big round ass.
From Popoholic.
ass,
kim kardashian,
taco belle
(4)
