Audrina Patridge To World: PLEASE Look At Me

Let me first start off by saying I understand that TV Guide can in no way be considered a serious magazine. That would be like considering this blog as “Journalism” or considering the San Diego Padres as a “Major League Baseball Team.” But putting Mario Lopez and Audrina Patridge on the cover of your magazine is like the Padres deciding to bench their leadoff man and replace him with….yeah, there’s no one shitty enough that I can think of to make an accurate metaphor. Actually, maybe it is the guy who bats lead off for them now, I think his name is “Shitty Mcterrible.” Anyway, TV guide just put Shitty McTerrible on their cover with the quote:

Stars share secrets for their Hot Bods!

I looked really closely for an asterisk next to “stars” that would hopefully lead me to a footnote that said “We tried to find somebody, I swear to Christ. Someone buy out our company for the love of God and put us out of our f*&king misery.”

What does it say about television when Audrina Patridge is on the cover of a magazine that claims to be a “guide” to it? At least Mario Lopez was A.C. Slater, which required at least enough talent to be able to pretend like he was sexually frustrated by Elizabeth Berkeley when he most likely defiled her anus nightly.

I can only hope that they had another cover story with a bigger star ready and when that fell through, they went with this. Maybe this is what they had originally:

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Taco Belle: Audrina Patridge

Age: 22

Where you’ve seen her: Audrina Patridge has been on The Hills. Which means her career is…I have no idea what being on The Hills means. I’m sorry.

Tantalizing tidbit: Reading Audrina’s Wikipedia page made me want to kill myself.

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Audrina Patridge From The Hills Is Naked

So, apparently the chick from The Hills, Audrina Patridge, wanted to get into Playboy Magazine when she was younger, and took some naked pictures. You can see them at wwtdd.com. The reaction in the “press” is one of surprise that she took naked photos. She’s on a reality show that makes her look like she snorted a mountain of cocaine and then went retarded, so I’m guessing it wasn’t a huge decision for her to show her boobies. Surprising would be if it was reported that Audrina from the Hills laid out a detailed proposal for a universal health care plan. That would be surprising. Showing boobies, not surprising.

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