So, there’s a whole bunch of controversy over this video. People think when Obama reaches up and scratches his face with his middle finger, that he’s actually giving the finger to Hillary, who he’s talking about at the moment he scratches. This is what the news media has come to. Reporting on shit like this. And before you say “You’re posting about it too so that makes you as bad as them,” let me answer that by saying that they run a service which is supposed to provide credible information to the public and I run a “service” where I spend an hour trying to photoshop Lindsay Lohan into a group of poor South African children.
Anyway, bottom line is, even if he was giving her the finger, who cares. You know they all want to give each other the finger, they just don’t do it because the finger is bad politics. Although I hear the “put your tongue between your two fingers like you’re giving a woman oral sex” gesture is huge in swing states.
I did not doctor this video whatsoever. And as you can see, it’s always funnier when it’s the real thing. I really love when people get booed. My favorite part of this is after he calls Obama, Osama, he goes “I didn’t meant to say that, I apologize publicly.” He’s at an F-ing press conference, how the hell would he apologize privately? Would he turn away from the mic and whisper to no one “I apologize for my comment?” Then after he apologizes, he tries to go back in to anti-Obama mode. Bad move. Shut it down Johnny, shut it down.
In a recent interview, DMX made it clear that he’s not really following the presidential race very much. (Warning: You are about to read the greatest interview of all time.) According to thedailyswarm.com:
XXL Magazine: Are you following the presidential race?
DMX: Not at all.
You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton. His name is Barack?!
Barack Obama, yeah. Barack?!
Barack. What the f*** is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?
Yeah, his dad is from Kenya. Barack Obama?
Yeah. What the f***?! That ain’t no f***in’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the f*** outta here.
You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before. I ain’t really paying much attention.
I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black… Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the f***, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his f***in’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your f***in’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.
So you’re not following the race. You can’t vote right? Nope.
I understand that maybe I watch a little too much television. But I didn’t think it was possible to live in the US and not have even HEARD of Barack Obama. This means he never watches TV, listens to the radio, reads the newspaper or talks to anyone who has any awareness of the world around them. What else hasn’t he heard of? Computers? Sandwiches? Dirt? This has been the biggest news story for the last year. I don’t understand. I just don’t understand.
I love how politicians, when trying to site trends and statistics that point to why they should be elected, say things like “No one in recent history who didn’t win their party’s primary in Ohio EVER went on to win the presidency.” Maybe, but who gives a fuck? I wish she had just said “No one who didn’t eat pancakes in San Diego on at least one Tuesday in February of an election year, has EVER won the presidency. I was at an IHOP there last tuesday eating a short stack, I didn’t see Senator Obama.” Anyway, since I heard these two might run on the same ticket, I went ahead and made a bumper sticker for them and gave it out to random people. Here’s one:
Look, I like Barack Obama but for the love of God, he didn’t create the universe. I was half way expecting to see someone saying “I had third degree burns over 90% of my body. Barack Obama gave me his feces and I rubbed it all over my skin and the next day… my skin was like a baby’s ass.”
I love how they fit every single ethnicity into this video. I’m disappointed there wasn’t an eskimo dude in a parka holding a harpoon standing next to one of those dudes from Apocalypto, both chanting “O-BA-MA. O-BA-MA.” It’s really fortunate for Barack that his last name has three syllables. It doesn’t have the same ring to it when you chant “MC-CAIN, MC-CAIN.” Sort of just sounds like you’re chanting Mick Cane, which sounds like the name of a crusty longshoreman in New Jersey.
Ted Kennedy was in Laredo, Texas, campaigning for Barack Obama. He’s trying to win the latino vote, but with lyrics like these, I don’t think he’s winning many fans.
Where you’ve seen her: Michelle Obama is vying to become the first MILF in the White House…well, since that silver-haired stunner Barbara Bush.
Is she really a MILF? Yes, yes she is. In 1999 she pushed so hard that a baby named Malia Ann came shooting out of her. Then, she pushed super hard again in 2001 and a little girl named Natasha (known as Sasha) popped out. Apparently she hasn’t done any pushing since then.
Tantalizing trivia: 100% of Americans would vote for Michelle if her campaign slogan was “Barack Obama’s Baby Mamma.” Also, 64% of all statistics are made up.
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