Christian Bale Arrested For Beat Down?

I was always wonder how actors get arrested for stuff. Like, if I was an actor, and say I got pissed off at someone and started screaming at them and they were like “That’s it, I’m calling the cops!” I’d just go, “aaaand scene.” And then be like, “I think you misunderstood me. When I called you a ‘crazy bitch like your mother,’ I was just shaking the dust off a character I’m honing.” Then I’d avoid eye contact until they put the phone down. According to Usmagazine.com, Christian Bale didn’t say “aaaand scene.”

Christian Bale was arrested Tuesday for allegedly assaulting his 61-year-old mother and 40-year-old sister, according London’s Daily Telegraph.

After being held for more than four hours, he was released. He is to return to the station in September pending further inquiries.

Now TMZ is saying it’s just a “verbal assault” and Bale is denying the whole thing. If it was a verbal assault, I wonder if when he yelled at them, he used his regular voice, or that weird Batman voice that makes him sound like if Alec Baldwin was trying to deliver a monologue while taking a shit.

If the London police had any sense of humor what so ever, when they had Christian in the holding cell, the detective who was supposed to question him would walk in like this:

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Asian Kids Are Named The Darndest Things

I always thought Batman would be a little…I don’t know…tougher looking? But I guess the fact that an 18-year-old Javanese kid is the one saving Gotham (and possibly Metropolis, although that spelling of his last name is a little suspect) makes his super hero status all the more impressive. I’m totally going to see his new movie now.

In other hilariously named baby news, according to the BBC:

More than 4,000 children in China have been given the name Aoyun, meaning Olympic Games, in the past 15 years.

The rise in popularity of the name is seen as a sign of support for the Games being staged in August in Beijing.

It is not uncommon for Chinese children to be given names of common events and popular slogans - such as Defend China, Build the Nation and Space Travel.

Space Travel?!? Yes! Why hasn’t this trend hit the States? In these trying times, we need to show support for our nation. How can we expect to win the baby names race when we’re still calling our infants Allen or Steve or Shamika? You can never have too much patriotism, people.

If you’re not the creative type who can come up with a good name for your new USA-promoting child, here are a few suggestions:

Sears Memorial Day Sale
Baseball Team
iPhone Telephone
Ask Your Doctor About Levitra
You’ve Been Superpoked
Black Presidential Candidate

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Heidi Fleiss To Play Joker

Hey Batman fans, it’s all going to be OK. After Heath Ledger’s sad and untimely death, I’m sure a few of you were wondering who was going to play the Joker in the future Dark Knight sequels. I think this mug shot of Heidi Fleiss should put all your fears to rest. As you can see, she’s a natural.

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