This photo of New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick staring at an ass at an NIT basketball game leaves me with a few questions. They are, in order of importance:
1. Why is Bill staring at that dumpy ass?
2. Is Bill trying to figure out if that’s a guy’s or a girl’s ass?
3. Do you think Bill’s bright-green hat says “I Loves Me Some Ass Staring”?
4. How long did Bill stare at that ass? (I hope it was 4 minutes.)
5. Is Bill holding a pile of shit in his hands?
If anyone has any answers to these questions, please let me know.
Coach’s teach their players about teamwork, discipline and toughness. It’s their job to serve as a role model to inspire those around them to leave it all out on the field. But instead, these coaches only inspire us to laugh at them when they act like spoiled little brats. Whether its sucker-punching players, fighting each other or whining about the media, these coaches are great big bags of Massengill.
BOBBY PETRINO, Atlanta Falcons (Kind of)
Quitting on your team in the middle of an NFL season to take a college coaching job is one thing. But informing them by leaving a terse four-sentence note on their locker doesn’t make you a douchebag. It makes you a douchebarrel.
WOODY HAYES, Ohio State
As a coach, it’s your job to set an example for your players. For instance, if a player from the opposing team intercepts the ball, it’s important to remember to punch him in the face as he runs down the sidelines. Woody is also remembered for picking up a yardage marker and hurling it across the field like a javelin when a call went against him in a game against Michigan. I think a good rule is: if you’re angry and you hurl something that’s not a javelin as if it were one, you’re an asshole. Continue reading…
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