Kevin Federline Line Is Year Older, Stupider

Vegas has some of the best magicians in the world.  Some make tigers disappear.  Some make people levitate.  And some perform the greatest trick of all, finding a way to become millionaires without any talent, skills, or education.

People.com reports:

Kevin Federline will take a break from parenting on March 21st to celebrate his birthday.

Just like at his 29th birthday, Federline will celebrate at Caesar’s Palace’s Pure nightclub.  Last year, his parents and even ex-girlfriend Shar Jackson attended the bash at the club.

Oooh his parents came!  Nice!  Does anyone else think this smells like one of those birthday parties in elementary school where the fat stinky kid in school invited the whole class to his birthday and no one showed up except the kids whose parents forced them to go?  Me too.  Now I feel bad because I was that kid for a couple years (thyroid problem, no excuse for the stinky).  The way I dealt with getting people to come to my parties was simple: Bouncy room.  Maybe that would work for him.

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You Forgot Valentine’s Day, Didn’t You?

OK, so you totally forgot it was Valentine’s Day tomorrow and you haven’t gotten him or her anything (except herpes, which he or she will “receive” in a year.) Instead of freaking out, running over to the Hallmark store and buying a crappy card and a stupid bear, go to callmecasanova.com. Choose from assorted gift options like Zales jewelry, balloons or flowers, which they will ship directly to your recipient with a pre-written love poem that won’t try to rhyme the word “Nantucket.” In addition, you can include all your special someone’s special dates so thoughtful gifts will be automatically shot off to them on birthdays, anniversaries and hump days.

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