New Children’s Book Explains Mommy’s New Face

The next time little Susie asks mommy why she has bandages all over her face and a brand new torso, she can just read a new book written by a plastic surgeon called “My Beautiful Mommy.” According to nysun.com:

A Bal Harbour, Fla., plastic surgeon has written “My Beautiful Mommy”, which explains cosmetic surgery to school-age children. The story focuses on a teddy bear-clutching little girl whose mother is about to go in for a nose job and a tummy tuck.

“Kids tend to associate a doctor’s visit with being sick,” Dr. Salzhauer, a father of four, said. “They come in with this puzzled look on their face and ask questions like, ‘Is mommy dying?’”

I’m so glad someone is taking the time to sit down and teach children about all the positive aspects of plastic surgery. Someone should’ve given this book to Jocelyn Wildenstein’s offspring. Ya know, just to allay their fears and let them know that plastic surgery always turns out great.

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Patriots Publish Fictional Story Of Undefeated Team

According to the New York Times book blog:

What’s the No. 11 book on Amazon.com’s bestseller list as of 1:50 this afternoon?

That book is “19-0: The Historic Championship Season of New England’s Unbeatable Patriots,” from the staff of the Boston Globe, and an instant collector’s item.

Something tells me somewhere in North Boston Bill Simmons is huddled in his bedroom and reading this book out loud to his dad and his buddy Gus or Murphy or whoever. Can we stop with the Boston-centric bullshit now? Between the Red Sox and the Pats and this year’s Celtics you whiners win all the time. Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? They lost. Get over it.  And if that’s not enough to ruin your week, I have some more bad news: One day, Larry Bird will die.

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